The Onion thread

Norah · Post by **Norah** » Wed February 14, 2018 9:40 pm

jeez that's dark

Chris_H_2 · Post by **Chris_H_2** » Wed February 14, 2018 9:47 pm

here's a brighter one for you

E.H. Ruddock · Post by **E.H. Ruddock** » Wed February 21, 2018 3:59 pm

Man smoking E-cigarette must be bounty hunter from the future

BurtReynolds · Post by **BurtReynolds** » Sat May 19, 2018 10:35 pm

I almost spit out my coffee on that one.

run2death · Post by **run2death** » Mon June 11, 2018 3:00 am

BurtReynolds · Post by **BurtReynolds** » Wed August 08, 2018 8:09 pm

Young Girls Creeped Out By Older Scientists Constantly Trying To Lure Them Into STEM

SEATTLE, WA—With responses ranging from “squirming in discomfort” to “completely discouraged from studying science and engineering,” a nationwide poll group of high school-age girls revealed Tuesday that the nation’s young women are being utterly creeped out by scientists twice their age constantly attempting to lure them into the study of science, technology, engineering, and math. “They’re always hanging around our classrooms and sending us targeted messages online—they sometimes even offer us money if we’re into their sort of thing. It’s so desperate,” said 13-year-old Tessa Levin, recounting the several times she and her friends had been approached by the type of much older chemical engineers or web developers who frequent science fairs with the hopes of involving girls in non-profit mentorship programs or computer programming sleepaway camps. “They always try to treat us like we’re special, but the truth is, they’ll go after pretty much any girl under 18 who can draw a simple parallel circuit diagram. They’re clearly trying to groom girls for their weird lifestyle from a young age. At first it was kind of funny, but the more we learn, the more it just seems gross.” The poll also revealed that some scientists also seem to have a thing for young black and latino boys.

Post by B » Fri August 10, 2018 12:32 am

Post by **epilogue** » Fri August 10, 2018 12:54 am

Chris_H_2 · Post by **Chris_H_2** » Wed August 15, 2018 11:42 pm

Chris_H_2 · Post by **Chris_H_2** » Wed August 29, 2018 5:44 pm

they've certainly seized on this topic . . .

run2death · Post by **run2death** » Sat December 29, 2018 8:50 pm

Hand Of George H.W. Bush Bursts Out Of Ground To Grope One Last Woman

https://politics.theonion.com/hand-of-g ... 1831259328

Post by **Bammer** » Thu August 13, 2020 5:16 am

Re: Kamala Harris

Progressive Bona Fides: Provided housing to thousands of low-level offenders she convicted.

E.H. Ruddock · Post by **E.H. Ruddock** » Sun April 04, 2021 4:33 pm

tragabigzanda · Post by **tragabigzanda** » Mon June 28, 2021 2:04 am

Steve Albini wrote:Whenever there's active promotion on the part of somebody else, whenever I see somebody all dolled up for a fancy photograph and someone's handing out flyers or whenever there's active promotion for something like that, as an imposition on my day, I hate all those people and I want them to fail. I have a visceral reaction to advertising and promotion. There's just something about salesmanship that grates on me on a very base level and I react very negatively towards it. I want those people to suffer and I want their enterprises to fail.

Chris_H_2 · Post by **Chris_H_2** » Thu February 24, 2022 3:09 am

E.H. Ruddock · Post by **E.H. Ruddock** » Thu February 24, 2022 12:58 pm

lennytheweedwhacker · Thu February 24, 2022 1:08 pm

Post by **Bammer** » Thu March 03, 2022 2:49 pm

“Band Remembers Back When They Played For 10 People, Not Just 4”

Post by **Bammer** » Mon March 17, 2025 11:27 pm

I love the Onion for political and holiday/seasonal gags ... always look forward to the ones from Mother's Day and especially today, St. Patrick's Day.

Cut to redheaded Irish guy blacking out in the pub at like 10am, St. Patty's rebranded as...

The Reinforcin' o' the Stereotypes

So good.

Red Mosquito

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