When the dude next to you at the bar eye fucks your plate

lennytheweedwhacker · Sat April 07, 2018 8:42 pm

washing machine wrote:
The Argonaut wrote:Is it like a sloppy seconds thing? You don't want to fuck your food because some other guy already fucked it?
Not even close.

If I order a plate and someone ogles it as it’s being presented to me, I only feel weird because me and my food have just been put in the spotlight.

Instead of enjoying a quiet meal to myself, I have to brace myself for a conversation about what I just ordered and probably more small talk after that.

then sex...hard, passionate sex

Kaius · Post by **Kaius** » Sat April 07, 2018 8:47 pm

washing machine wrote:
The Argonaut wrote:Is it like a sloppy seconds thing? You don't want to fuck your food because some other guy already fucked it?
Not even close.

If I order a plate and someone ogles it as it’s being presented to me, I only feel weird because me and my food have just been put in the spotlight.

Instead of enjoying a quiet meal to myself, I have to brace myself for a conversation about what I just ordered and probably more small talk after that.

You both have some really weird hang ups

washing machine · Post by **washing machine** » Sat April 07, 2018 8:52 pm

Kaius wrote:
washing machine wrote:
The Argonaut wrote:Is it like a sloppy seconds thing? You don't want to fuck your food because some other guy already fucked it?
Not even close.

If I order a plate and someone ogles it as it’s being presented to me, I only feel weird because me and my food have just been put in the spotlight.

Instead of enjoying a quiet meal to myself, I have to brace myself for a conversation about what I just ordered and probably more small talk after that.
You both have some really weird hang ups

Don’t even get me started on cocktails with fancy garnishes.

Post by **The Argonaut** » Sat April 07, 2018 8:53 pm

My wife and I would like to thank you for having us to your dinner party

lennytheweedwhacker · Sat April 07, 2018 8:57 pm

The Argonaut wrote:There is something wrong with me

to be fair it's probably not just one thing

Post by **Jorge** » Sat April 07, 2018 9:10 pm

Kaius wrote:
washing machine wrote:
The Argonaut wrote:Is it like a sloppy seconds thing? You don't want to fuck your food because some other guy already fucked it?
Not even close.

If I order a plate and someone ogles it as it’s being presented to me, I only feel weird because me and my food have just been put in the spotlight.

Instead of enjoying a quiet meal to myself, I have to brace myself for a conversation about what I just ordered and probably more small talk after that.
You both have some really weird hang ups

Yeah I find this whole thread bewildering

tree_ · Post by **tree_** » Sat April 07, 2018 9:37 pm

Oh great this is gonna be a thing for me now. Thanks jerks.

washing machine · Post by **washing machine** » Sat April 07, 2018 9:44 pm

theplatypus wrote:Yeah I find this whole thread bewildering

Doesn’t surprise me one bit. I’m sure it’s nothing short of a balls out, orgiastic free-for-all eye fuck when a waitress delivers steak at a bar in Buenos Aires.

Post by **Jorge** » Sat April 07, 2018 9:51 pm

What the hell

washing machine · Post by **washing machine** » Sat April 07, 2018 9:57 pm

Sorry for the generalization. I just imagine BA cuisine to look pretty good all around, and your city seems to be populated by social people. Eye fucking a plate probably isn’t a big deal when you go out and this thread probably isn’t for you.

Norah · Post by **Norah** » Sun April 08, 2018 3:46 am

this thread has everything

spike · Post by **spike** » Sun April 08, 2018 1:41 pm

cutuphalfdead wrote:this thread has everything

needs more ketchup

Post by **Jorge** » Sun April 08, 2018 3:56 pm

Oh nooo someone is looking at my food and might ask me about it oh no oh noooo

washing machine · Post by **washing machine** » Sun April 08, 2018 8:54 pm

That reminds me -- when this happens on a plane it's even worse.

Post by **96583UP** » Mon April 09, 2018 12:17 am

probably time to start ordering meals at tables

washing machine · Post by **washing machine** » Mon April 09, 2018 1:01 am

96583UP wrote:probably time to start ordering meals at tables

And look like a loner? No thanks.

Post by **96583UP** » Mon April 09, 2018 1:04 am

washing machine wrote:
96583UP wrote:probably time to start ordering meals at tables
And look like a loner? No thanks.

when you're in your 20s, you care what people think about you

when you're 40, you stop caring what people think about you

when you're 60, you realize no one was ever thinking about you

BurtReynolds · Post by **BurtReynolds** » Mon April 09, 2018 1:53 am

96583UP wrote:
washing machine wrote:
96583UP wrote:probably time to start ordering meals at tables
And look like a loner? No thanks.
when you're in your 20s, you care what people think about you

when you're 40, you stop caring what people think about you

when you're 60, you realize no one was ever thinking about you

I'm ahead of my time, because I'm starting to get the feeling no one cares what I do.

lennytheweedwhacker · Mon April 09, 2018 2:13 pm

BurtReynolds wrote:
96583UP wrote:
washing machine wrote:
96583UP wrote:probably time to start ordering meals at tables
And look like a loner? No thanks.
when you're in your 20s, you care what people think about you

when you're 40, you stop caring what people think about you

when you're 60, you realize no one was ever thinking about you
I'm ahead of my time, because I'm starting to get the feeling no one cares what I do.

i care

washing machine · Post by **washing machine** » Wed April 11, 2018 9:46 pm

I did this to someone next to me at the bar last night, but not because the plate looked good.

Red Mosquito

When the dude next to you at the bar eye fucks your plate

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