ITT: We Hatch the Plan to Bring Dave A & Ed back together

[96583UP]

[96583UP]

maybe a large donation to his epidermolysis bullosa foundation gets him an invite to their annual banquet as the guest of honor and just after the introductory toast from Ed the big reveal occurs and it's Dave with his cymbals and Ed feels compelled to slam into RVM

[E.H. Ruddock]

Why?

[96583UP]

to restore order to the universe

duh

[96583UP]

ok how about -

after Dave K, Jack, and both Matt C's are accidentally lost during a nature walk in an underground cave in thailand, and the raining season sets in, dave a feels compelled to rescue them for the sake of the jamily, so he flies to bangkok and one snare-smashing drumstick whack at a time digs a channel by hand through the bedrock and frees them all

Ed, Jeff, Mike, Stone are all so impressed that they invite Dave to their rehearsal lair for a celebratory full band re-recoding of 'Angel' for the Annual Single

the chemistry is too strong to deny and they change the locks to entry without even notifying Matt C and then jet to Europe to kick off World Jam 2.0.20

[bodysnatcher]

We’re worried that Pearl Jam becomes a nostalgia act, but maybe we’re the ones making them a nostalgia act.

[washing machine]

ok how about -

after Dave K, Jack, and both Matt C's are accidentally lost during a nature walk in an underground cave in thailand, and the raining season sets in, dave a feels compelled to rescue them for the sake of the jamily, so he flies to bangkok and one snare-smashing drumstick whack at a time digs a channel by hand through the bedrock and frees them all

Ed, Jeff, Mike, Stone are all so impressed that they invite Dave to their rehearsal lair for a celebratory full band re-recoding of 'Angel' for the Annual Single

the chemistry is too strong to deny and they change the locks to entry without even notifying Matt C and then jet to Europe to kick off World Jam 2.0.20

[washing machine]

ok how about -

after Dave K, Jack, and both Matt C's are accidentally lost during a nature walk in an underground cave in thailand, and the raining season sets in, dave a feels compelled to rescue them for the sake of the jamily, so he flies to bangkok and one snare-smashing drumstick whack at a time digs a channel by hand through the bedrock and frees them all

Ed, Jeff, Mike, Stone are all so impressed that they invite Dave to their rehearsal lair for a celebratory full band re-recoding of 'Angel' for the Annual Single

the chemistry is too strong to deny and they change the locks to entry without even notifying Matt C and then jet to Europe to kick off World Jam 2.0.20

[Strat]

We’re worried that Pearl Jam becomes a nostalgia act, but maybe we’re the ones making them a nostalgia act.

[96583UP]

i knew i shouldn’t have organized that PJ20 media blitz...

[spike]

We’re worried that Pearl Jam becomes a nostalgia act, but maybe we’re the ones making them a nostalgia act.

think about how old ed looks, then consider how old we must look to him

[96583UP]

Scenario 3

While en route to Anusville, TX for his next putsch-rally, President Trump takes a pit stop in Mesquite, TX for a big mac. While waiting in line to order, he is struck with diarrhea pangs from his morning breakfast of crystal meth and Cinnabuns. On his way to the restroom, he happens upon an 8th grade girls soccer team, having a birthday lunch for a teammate. POTUS takes it upon himself to pause and ogle the young girls and wish the birthday girl a happy birthday. Then he proceeds to remind them that they are inferior to men, and their life's work should consist solely of working to please their husbands. As his pre-shit farts crescendo and he turns to walk toward the bathroom stall, suddenly a long-haired, long-bearded custodial worker mopping the floor raises his trembling, carpal tunnel-ridden hand and proceeds to lecture the POTUS on the importance of women's rights. Refusing to move, he is physically carried out of the McDonald's by the Secret Service; at which point the owner of the McD's informs him he is fired - and the girls' soccer team rushes to his aide. The entire exchange is captured live on TV by CNN.

Now unemployed, the beleaguered custodian tells the CNN interviewer of his life story. Once a drummer of a rock band; he fell on hard times trying to make sense of his firing.

Awestruck by the custodian's courage and support of women's rights, centi-millionaire Ed borrows the Oracle CEO's solar powered private jet and flies in to Mesquite, TX immediately to meet the custodian. No stranger to callously casting away drummers like soiled contraceptives, Ed gives the custodian an audition, prepared to offer him a spot in the band should the performance go well. The custodian plays, and Ed is amazed at his drive on hard tracks like 'Go', and control on the gentler tracks like 'Nothingman' and 'Daughter'. The bearded, hairy custodian boards Ed's solar powered plane back to his space ship treehouse.

Once there, Ed asks his personal shopper to send a text message to Matt C to inform him that he has been terminated; and to summon the PJ 4.5 (Jeff, Stone, Mike, BOB, Boom) and inform them that it is time to make an album with their new drummer.

The band warms up with a playful rendition of 'Dirty Frank', at which point a hair whip from the drummer reveals a soul patch. Jeff Ament catches an eye and is reminded of something, something from a long time ago. Another hair whip and Stone's spidey sense is also tingling. After a series of double-stroke rolls, it becomes known! It is He, Dave Abbruzzese, returned from streets!! Ed is paralyzed with rage, and island rhythms, and being mostly checked out of PJ for the last 12 years anyways, reluctantly accepts Dave's re-entry into the band. Ed leaves the studio and his personal shopper finishes the vocals on the band's 11th album. In honor of the release 437,238 individual show posters will be made for the band's pre-tour warm up at the Showbox. The merch line will open 82 days in advance. And the jamily will be at peace once again.

[Monkey_Driven]

Scenario 3

While en route to Anusville, TX for his next putsch-rally, President Trump takes a pit stop in Mesquite, TX for a big mac. While waiting in line to order, he is struck with diarrhea pangs from his morning breakfast of crystal meth and Cinnabuns. On his way to the restroom, he happens upon an 8th grade girls soccer team, having a birthday lunch for a teammate. POTUS takes it upon himself to pause and ogle the young girls and wish the birthday girl a happy birthday. Then he proceeds to remind them that they are inferior to men, and their life's work should consist solely of working to please their husbands. As his pre-shit farts crescendo and he turns to walk toward the bathroom stall, suddenly a long-haired, long-bearded custodial worker mopping the floor raises his trembling, carpal tunnel-ridden hand and proceeds to lecture the POTUS on the importance of women's rights. Refusing to move, he is physically carried out of the McDonald's by the Secret Service; at which point the owner of the McD's informs him he is fired - and the girls' soccer team rushes to his aide. The entire exchange is captured live on TV by CNN.

Now unemployed, the beleaguered custodian tells the CNN interviewer of his life story. Once a drummer of a rock band; he fell on hard times trying to make sense of his firing.

Awestruck by the custodian's courage and support of women's rights, centi-millionaire Ed borrows the Oracle CEO's solar powered private jet and flies in to Mesquite, TX immediately to meet the custodian. No stranger to callously casting away drummers like soiled contraceptives, Ed gives the custodian an audition, prepared to offer him a spot in the band should the performance go well. The custodian plays, and Ed is amazed at his drive on hard tracks like 'Go', and control on the gentler tracks like 'Nothingman' and 'Daughter'. The bearded, hairy custodian boards Ed's solar powered plane back to his space ship treehouse.

Once there, Ed asks his personal shopper to send a text message to Matt C to inform him that he has been terminated; and to summon the PJ 4.5 (Jeff, Stone, Mike, BOB, Boom) and inform them that it is time to make an album with their new drummer.

The band warms up with a playful rendition of 'Dirty Frank', at which point a hair whip from the drummer reveals a soul patch. Jeff Ament catches an eye and is reminded of something, something from a long time ago. Another hair whip and Stone's spidey sense is also tingling. After a series of double-stroke rolls, it becomes known! It is He, Dave Abbruzzese, returned from streets!! Ed is paralyzed with rage, and island rhythms, and being mostly checked out of PJ for the last 12 years anyways, reluctantly accepts Dave's re-entry into the band. Ed leaves the studio and his personal shopper finishes the vocals on the band's 11th album. In honor of the release 437,238 individual show posters will be made for the band's pre-tour warm up at the Showbox. The merch line will open 82 days in advance. And the jamily will be at peace once again.

This is an all timer.

[spike]