Sexual metaphors to predict your reaction to Lightning Bolt

[Lament]

So in the meantime I plan to fuck my brains out on the honeymoon and ask myself if I should have married this girl when it ends.

You will wake up handcuffed to the bedposts with shit on your chest.

After a few weeks of continually scoring with smoking hot girls, Lightning Bolt will be the girl you meet on a slow night out who you're not particularly into, but won't say no to if she puts in the effort. You'd probably walk away if you hadn't been such a slut in the previous few weeks, but at this point you're just kinda used to going home with a bunch of different girls, so you let her take you home. She does most of the work, and you appreciate the effort, but you really don't want other people to know what you did, and you don't have much desire to go back and repeat your actions. You'd defend her as a nice girl to people outside of your close circle of friends because it doesn't seem right to badmouth her, and you've definitely been with worse, but among your closest friends you're like "I'm not entirely sure why I went through with that."

(I hope I'm wrong)

[dimejinky99]

I think that's my favourite stip post ever.

Boy is excited

Plus it's gonna haunt him in a year or so when we've lived with the whole album for a while.

[stip]

that's why I have that second clause in there

[harmless]

I made this comment on another thread and realised it could illustrate my excitement for Lightning Bolt, with both Pearl Jam's dark-rock and light-pop sides.

"Harmless' Museum of Bi", featuring Exhibit A, B, C, D, E, F....

[epilogue]

So in the meantime I plan to fuck my brains out on the honeymoon and ask myself if I should have married this girl when it ends.

[Lament]

I think that's my favourite stip post ever.

It really is amazing, isn't it?

[harmless]

I think that's my favourite stip post ever.

Boy is excited

Plus it's gonna haunt him in a year or so when we've lived with the whole album for a while.

Is he a fan too?

[stip]

is the boy me, your boy, or Glen?

[harmless]

I think he means beau.

[nyquillyn]

Lightning Bolt is like trying to jerk off with my post-vasectomy cock. It's frustratingly difficult to begin and always ends in disappointment.*

* Yes, I realize this belongs in the "Sexual similes to predict your reaction to Lightning Bolt" thread.

[Lament]

Lightning Bolt is like trying to jerk off with my post-vasectomy cock. It's frustratingly difficult to begin and always ends in disappointment.*

* Yes, I realize this belongs in the "Sexual similes to predict your reaction to Lightning Bolt" thread.

That is spectacular work.

[Sgt. Crackpot]

Lightning Bolt is like trying to jerk off with my post-vasectomy cock. It's frustratingly difficult to begin and always ends in disappointment.*

* Yes, I realize this belongs in the "Sexual similes to predict your reaction to Lightning Bolt" thread.

Why is that? (Serious question, I'm planning on getting it done myself once the wife and I have finished overpopulating).

Edit: this is probably not the ideal place for it (yet, maybe it is), can you PM me instead?

[Lament]

Lightning Bolt is like trying to jerk off with my post-vasectomy cock. It's frustratingly difficult to begin and always ends in disappointment.*

* Yes, I realize this belongs in the "Sexual similes to predict your reaction to Lightning Bolt" thread.

Why is that? (Serious question, I'm planning on getting it done myself once the wife and I have finished overpopulating).

Edit: this is probably not the ideal place for it (yet, maybe it is), can you PM me instead?

No way. Answer him here. And make as many references to Pearl Jam songs as possible.

[Sgt. Crackpot]

Lightning Bolt is like trying to jerk off with my post-vasectomy cock. It's frustratingly difficult to begin and always ends in disappointment.*

* Yes, I realize this belongs in the "Sexual similes to predict your reaction to Lightning Bolt" thread.

Why is that? (Serious question, I'm planning on getting it done myself once the wife and I have finished overpopulating).

Edit: this is probably not the ideal place for it (yet, maybe it is), can you PM me instead?

No way. Answer him here. And make as many references to Pearl Jam songs as possible.

That could work. Yes, please do that.

[Birds in Hell]

RM has played a significant role in dissuading me from getting a vasectomy.

[dimejinky99]

is the boy me, your boy, or Glen?

I'm reporting this post.

Dig up stip. dig up.

[Noaheb]

sexual chocolate

[nyquillyn]

RM has played a significant role in dissuading me from getting a vasectomy.

Good.

[BurtReynolds]

The year is 1985, and Alan Thicke and Bob Saget are about to introduce a young Kirk Cameron to the world of manboy love making. All three know its wrong, but they try to convince themselves that its ok just this once. Suddenly, Balki from Perfect Strangers bursts in and exclaims "WHAT A COUNTRY" or whatever bullshit catchphrase he had, and they all blow their brains out in shame.

[Lament]

The year is 1985, and Alan Thicke and Bob Saget are about to introduce a young Kirk Cameron to the world of manboy love making. All three know its wrong, but they try to convince themselves that its ok just this once. Suddenly, Balki from Perfect Strangers bursts in and exclaims "WHAT A COUNTRY" or whatever bullshit catchphrase he had, and they all blow their brains out in shame.