Are you not not going to watch the Oscars this year?

[Ms Harmless]

pol·y·am·o·ry
/ˌpälēˈamərē/
Learn to pronounce
noun
the practice of engaging in multiple romantic (and typically sexual) relationships, with the consent of all the people involved.

po·lyg·a·mous
/pəˈliɡəməs/
Learn to pronounce
adjective
practicing, relating to, or involving polygamy.

[epilogue]

I hate to say it but this thread needs to read some Foucault

I may never stop laughing

[tree_]

pol·y·am·o·ry
/ˌpälēˈamərē/
Learn to pronounce
noun
the practice of engaging in multiple romantic (and typically sexual) relationships, with the consent of all the people involved.

po·lyg·a·mous
/pəˈliɡəməs/
Learn to pronounce
adjective
practicing, relating to, or involving polygamy.

Oh, so you agree with the definitions. OK then.

[Ms Harmless]

pol·y·am·o·ry
/ˌpälēˈamərē/
Learn to pronounce
noun
the practice of engaging in multiple romantic (and typically sexual) relationships, with the consent of all the people involved.

po·lyg·a·mous
/pəˈliɡəməs/
Learn to pronounce
adjective
practicing, relating to, or involving polygamy.

it won't let me paste the Wiki link for some reason but it describes polyamory as "the practice of, or the desire for"

and polygamy is not the same thing as polyamory

other than that, we can throw definitions at each other all night that say different things and support our own thinking; ultimately people can and should define these things for themselves, if it matters to them

[Ms Harmless]

pol·y·am·o·ry
/ˌpälēˈamərē/
Learn to pronounce
noun
the practice of engaging in multiple romantic (and typically sexual) relationships, with the consent of all the people involved.

po·lyg·a·mous
/pəˈliɡəməs/
Learn to pronounce
adjective
practicing, relating to, or involving polygamy.

Oh, so you agree with the definitions. OK then.

I pressed return accidentally

[Anders]

[tree_]

I guess I think the "desire or inclination to be polygamous" is actually different from "being polygamous"

otherwise, all of us who can't constantly control our thoughts and impulses possess all sorts of statuses we don't actually own up to, such as "murderer", because we've wanted to kill someone at least once

[Ms Harmless]

I just want to say that murder is also a noun

OK yeah, that's true; you're a murderer if you've done a murder

I'm just saying you're not polyamorous because you've done a polyamor

So you're saying I'm polyamorous because I've had the desire to have sexual intercourse with another person while married, whether or not I've acted upon this desire?

if that's how you wished to identify, sure, unless you think that desire was innately wrong (the act would be without the consent of your wife, but want whatever you want)

[Ms Harmless]

I guess I think the "desire or inclination to be polygamous" is actually different from "being polygamous"

otherwise, all of us who can't constantly control our thoughts and impulses possess all sorts of statuses we don't actually own up to, such as "murderer", because we've wanted to kill someone at least once

so then it becomes about which impulses and instincts are morally OK and which ones aren't

[Rob]

I thought consent was part of the polyamorous lifestyle.

[Ms Harmless]

polyamorous is not "polygamous"

[tree_]

I just want to say that murder is also a noun

OK yeah, that's true; you're a murderer if you've done a murder

I'm just saying you're not polyamorous because you've done a polyamor

So you're saying I'm polyamorous because I've had the desire to have sexual intercourse with another person while married, whether or not I've acted upon this desire?

if that's how you wished to identify, sure, unless you think that desire was innately wrong (the act would be without the consent of your wife, but want whatever you want)

I don’t think there’s anything innately wrong about polygamy, but it would break the contract of our marriage and what we agreed upon, Therefore I choose not to be polygamous

[Ms Harmless]

I thought consent was part of the polyamorous lifestyle.

it is

[tree_]

I guess I think the "desire or inclination to be polygamous" is actually different from "being polygamous"

otherwise, all of us who can't constantly control our thoughts and impulses possess all sorts of statuses we don't actually own up to, such as "murderer", because we've wanted to kill someone at least once

so then it becomes about which impulses and instincts are morally OK and which ones aren't

No I’m just trying to figure out which words are correct here

[Ms Harmless]

I just want to say that murder is also a noun

OK yeah, that's true; you're a murderer if you've done a murder

I'm just saying you're not polyamorous because you've done a polyamor

So you're saying I'm polyamorous because I've had the desire to have sexual intercourse with another person while married, whether or not I've acted upon this desire?

if that's how you wished to identify, sure, unless you think that desire was innately wrong (the act would be without the consent of your wife, but want whatever you want)

I don’t think there’s anything innately wrong about polygamy, but it would break the contract of our marriage and what we agreed upon, Therefore I choose not to be polygamous

that's perfectly fine

when I was married, my ex wife came out to me as polyamorous, so we opened up and lived as such openly, there was no cheating; I don't know what she's doing now but I've not gone back to thinking monogamy is good for me

[Ms Harmless]

I guess I think the "desire or inclination to be polygamous" is actually different from "being polygamous"

otherwise, all of us who can't constantly control our thoughts and impulses possess all sorts of statuses we don't actually own up to, such as "murderer", because we've wanted to kill someone at least once

so then it becomes about which impulses and instincts are morally OK and which ones aren't

No I’m just trying to figure out which words are correct here

sure, fair enough

[tree_]

So, are you telling me that I could identify as a murderer without ever actually attempting to murder anyone?

[Ms Harmless]

I thought consent was part of the polyamorous lifestyle.

it is

I meant: "the act would be wrong without the consent of your wife, but want what you want, and if you want it enough, talk about it with your wife"

[epilogue]

You know, it's interesting... I say that I'm monogamous. And I believe that. But.... if my wife came to me tomorrow and said that she wanted to be polyamorous, or that she'd found a partner who could give her something she felt she couldn't get from me, I would actually be open to the idea of her having multiple partners. There are obviously a ton of caveats here and considerations. But I'm not out-of-the-box opposed to it. And we've talked about this out loud. So... This is a fascinating conversation to me.

I would not want to lose my wife on that basis. This is all so complicated. And really interesting to me. And just goes to show how much societal pressures affect us even when we think they don't.

[Ms Harmless]

So, are you telling me that I could identify as a murderer without ever actually attempting to murder anyone?

that's an interesting question given the number of people who'd say someone with a criminal desire should already be condemned as a criminal

but in any case, again, is it OK to murder? no

is it OK to "go outside a monogamous relationship"? potentially, yes, let's talk about it baby