Go watch a Juno Temple movie.Dr. Van Nostrand wrote:I haven't seen any tonighttheplatypus wrote:YES BUT ARE THERE TETAS
Lightning Bolt: the official album thread
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Re: Keep Harmless Company While He Waits for Lightning Bolt
TEAM HARMLESS FOREVER...
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Re: Keep Harmless Company While He Waits for Lightning Bolt
Most of these questions are better than anything from PJ20. It is interesting that there is obvious diplomacy in the answers and uncertainty in responses. For example, when Jeff says he wished they had worked more on Vitalogy and No Code - he keeps whipping glances at Ed and Stone to gauge reaction.theplatypus wrote:evenslow wrote:Mark Richards Interviews Pearl Jam
http://www.theherald.com.au/story/18193 ... tos-video/
While a Western guitar motif lost on the swings drum bass fusion, get your own thoughts into the subconscious often forgotten. "Pendulum" is a sweeping soul from the ballast.
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Re: Keep Harmless Company While He Waits for Lightning Bolt
We don't even have a local record store anymore. There is a 'record fair' today, as some kind of market. But that is too earlyMonkey_Driven wrote:I really hope my local place gets it.bodysnatcher wrote:i'm feeling great about my decision to buy the vinyl at my local store on release day
groetjes,
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Re: Keep Harmless Company While He Waits for Lightning Bolt
Happy Animals Day!
groetjes,
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groetjes,
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Re: Keep Harmless Company While He Waits for Lightning Bolt
So I'm a bit late to this so would anyone still be interested in my answer to it?stip wrote:A former student of mine was in a wheelchair. We never talked about it, and when he wanted to get in and out of the office I'd hold the door because it was easier for him. That was about it. But there are times I wondered if he wanted it acknowledged. Like the time a friend told me he was gay and i said I didn't careSgt. Crackpot wrote:You know, I think I can understand your viewpoint. Able-bodied people are often patronising to people that disabled. I've caught myself doing it before, and it feels terrible.harmless wrote:Cheers Lament.Lament wrote:For what it's worth, I get it.harmless wrote:Well, some people will, I'll just leave it, it doesn't matter.
Honestly, what else do you think they mean by "unique" in this instance? It's not that he's from the world of sports and they're from the world of music. The media has pushed the "Pearl Jam is friends with sports dudes!" angle ad nauseam since day one (Jack McDowell, Shawn Kemp, Dennis Rodman, Kelly Slater, Pete Sampras, Kerry Wood, Peter Gammons, Theo Epstein, etc.).
I think you're justified in being pissed off, harmless.
It's the same old shtick time and again: rather than just an interviewer, he's a guy afflicted with a disease, who happens to be a "huge fan" who is having his life's treat, meeting PJ. The fact that he's an ex-football player and thus a sports celebrity is a footnote in this case. It's infantilisation. Mike is clumsy with his words, so I don't expect any different from him, but I'm far too used to able-bodied people talking about how great it is to be around disabled people because we are so "inspiring". That's great, Mike, but hopefully he's cool to be around just because he is? I'm talking about portrayal, because the media will always give you a version of reality, not the whole thing. And this is a formulaic one I'm very used to. It's a charitable narrative but ultimately not a particularly respectful one.
It's an easy habit to fall into, instead of just treating that person the same regardless of their disability. Isn't there a saying, something like 'see the person, not the disability?'. But, there is often this feeling of needing to be extra nice, and give special treatment, to someone with a disability. I think it's mainly because that person got dealt a shitty hand, and I feel bad for them.
RisingTides wrote:There is more kindness on the internet than we would care to admit to ourselves. Sometimes we are so afraid of falling victim to a ruse, we miss out on actual opportunities.
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Re: Keep Harmless Company While He Waits for Lightning Bolt
I'd be embraced to say something like this considering that time never really did much for the quality of their records. And is sad that they're still not over those 2 records and act as if they're pseudo ashamed of them. At least Jeff seems to. He's weird about this stuff. He was also in denial about Ten, thinking it taking the reverb out of would make it sound significantly better, it didn't.Blenheim Augustine wrote:Most of these questions are better than anything from PJ20. It is interesting that there is obvious diplomacy in the answers and uncertainty in responses. For example, when Jeff says he wished they had worked more on Vitalogy and No Code - he keeps whipping glances at Ed and Stone to gauge reaction.theplatypus wrote:evenslow wrote:Mark Richards Interviews Pearl Jam
http://www.theherald.com.au/story/18193 ... tos-video/
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Re: Keep Harmless Company While He Waits for Lightning Bolt
Yes.harmless wrote:So I'm a bit late to this so would anyone still be interested in my answer to it?stip wrote:A former student of mine was in a wheelchair. We never talked about it, and when he wanted to get in and out of the office I'd hold the door because it was easier for him. That was about it. But there are times I wondered if he wanted it acknowledged. Like the time a friend told me he was gay and i said I didn't careSgt. Crackpot wrote:You know, I think I can understand your viewpoint. Able-bodied people are often patronising to people that disabled. I've caught myself doing it before, and it feels terrible.harmless wrote:Cheers Lament.Lament wrote:For what it's worth, I get it.harmless wrote:Well, some people will, I'll just leave it, it doesn't matter.
Honestly, what else do you think they mean by "unique" in this instance? It's not that he's from the world of sports and they're from the world of music. The media has pushed the "Pearl Jam is friends with sports dudes!" angle ad nauseam since day one (Jack McDowell, Shawn Kemp, Dennis Rodman, Kelly Slater, Pete Sampras, Kerry Wood, Peter Gammons, Theo Epstein, etc.).
I think you're justified in being pissed off, harmless.
It's the same old shtick time and again: rather than just an interviewer, he's a guy afflicted with a disease, who happens to be a "huge fan" who is having his life's treat, meeting PJ. The fact that he's an ex-football player and thus a sports celebrity is a footnote in this case. It's infantilisation. Mike is clumsy with his words, so I don't expect any different from him, but I'm far too used to able-bodied people talking about how great it is to be around disabled people because we are so "inspiring". That's great, Mike, but hopefully he's cool to be around just because he is? I'm talking about portrayal, because the media will always give you a version of reality, not the whole thing. And this is a formulaic one I'm very used to. It's a charitable narrative but ultimately not a particularly respectful one.
It's an easy habit to fall into, instead of just treating that person the same regardless of their disability. Isn't there a saying, something like 'see the person, not the disability?'. But, there is often this feeling of needing to be extra nice, and give special treatment, to someone with a disability. I think it's mainly because that person got dealt a shitty hand, and I feel bad for them.
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Re: Keep Harmless Company While He Waits for Lightning Bolt
OK. Well, I guess firstly to address stip's point: there will be times when it'll be appropriate to bring it up -- like if you're going out with your friend to eat and you need to check on disabled access at the restaurant or whatever. That's just practicality. Other than that, there's no reason to mention something (like someone's colour or sexuality) unless it comes up in conversation. These things aren't tragic, they're just part of what goes into making a person, like eye colour. I for one am perfectly happy to be asked any questions people may have about my disability, because I never want it to be "the elephant in the room". There's no reason for it to make either of us feel awkward. So on one level, no, it doesn't need to be mentioned for the sake of it. But on another, there's no reason it shouldn't be mentioned. Nobody's at risk by talking respectfully about it.Mine wrote:Yes.harmless wrote:So I'm a bit late to this so would anyone still be interested in my answer to it?stip wrote:A former student of mine was in a wheelchair. We never talked about it, and when he wanted to get in and out of the office I'd hold the door because it was easier for him. That was about it. But there are times I wondered if he wanted it acknowledged. Like the time a friend told me he was gay and i said I didn't careSgt. Crackpot wrote:You know, I think I can understand your viewpoint. Able-bodied people are often patronising to people that disabled. I've caught myself doing it before, and it feels terrible.harmless wrote:Cheers Lament.Lament wrote:For what it's worth, I get it.harmless wrote:Well, some people will, I'll just leave it, it doesn't matter.
Honestly, what else do you think they mean by "unique" in this instance? It's not that he's from the world of sports and they're from the world of music. The media has pushed the "Pearl Jam is friends with sports dudes!" angle ad nauseam since day one (Jack McDowell, Shawn Kemp, Dennis Rodman, Kelly Slater, Pete Sampras, Kerry Wood, Peter Gammons, Theo Epstein, etc.).
I think you're justified in being pissed off, harmless.
It's the same old shtick time and again: rather than just an interviewer, he's a guy afflicted with a disease, who happens to be a "huge fan" who is having his life's treat, meeting PJ. The fact that he's an ex-football player and thus a sports celebrity is a footnote in this case. It's infantilisation. Mike is clumsy with his words, so I don't expect any different from him, but I'm far too used to able-bodied people talking about how great it is to be around disabled people because we are so "inspiring". That's great, Mike, but hopefully he's cool to be around just because he is? I'm talking about portrayal, because the media will always give you a version of reality, not the whole thing. And this is a formulaic one I'm very used to. It's a charitable narrative but ultimately not a particularly respectful one.
It's an easy habit to fall into, instead of just treating that person the same regardless of their disability. Isn't there a saying, something like 'see the person, not the disability?'. But, there is often this feeling of needing to be extra nice, and give special treatment, to someone with a disability. I think it's mainly because that person got dealt a shitty hand, and I feel bad for them.
Now to the Sarge's point, which I wanted to address. Firstly, I get why the phrase "See the person, not the disability" is well-meaning and has good intentions. But I don't like it, because I'd rather people embraced my disability as part of my character and person. It's just as inherently part of my life as my wife and family, my eye colour, my talents and tastes, my PJ fandom, etc. So it doesn't need to go ignored as "the tragedy we don't talk about" any more than a person's skin colour, gender or sexuality would. Would you say to a black friend "I don't see you as black / gay / female, only as a person?" I'd imagine someone would be rightfully taken aback by that and slightly offended. Whatever I am as a person, the fact that I'm a disabled person is what goes towards making me, me. It's a crucial part of what's built my character, my hopes and dreams, my desires and tastes, etc., since I was born. So when people see me as a person, I say they're welcome to see my disability and fully acknowledge it, either as the positive influence on my life that it has been in many ways, or just, well, because it's there and it's no big deal.
Now to the concept of being "dealt a shitty hand". The thing with a perception like this is that it's entirely subjective. I can only speak for myself here: when you look at me and think "Man, he's been dealt a shitty hand in life", I'm looking at other people and thinking "Man, that person's been dealt a shitty hand in life." Every one of us, when we say something like that, is leaning on their relative happiness / contentment / privilege, and comparing it to someone else's "plight". The question is: how do you *know* that I feel like I've been dealt a shitty hand? That's not an objective thing, and it all depends on how I feel about it. Otherwise, you're merely going by your own (able-bodied) standards. The most obvious thing is, "I can walk. He can't. Therefore his life must be worse." I was born with Spina bifida and was never able to walk except for short distances on crutches. Other than that, I'm always in a wheelchair. Having had no sensation of not being able to walk unaided, I have never actually had any desire to. I feel absolutely no need to be able to walk on two feet, and wouldn't take the opportunity if it was given to me. It's like flying: would I like to be able to fly like an eagle over cliffs and shit? Well, it's entertaining to think about, and the obvious answer is "Yes", but it's fantasy; my inability to fly won't keep me up at night. And there are definite advantages to not walking: I'm on my ass all day. It can be relaxing and I don't get as tired as my companions when I go for long trips to places. Other people may feel different, but there it is. Be careful that your relative view of someone's life reflects their actual life, and not just your obviously-biased perspective on it. That, again, involves not pushing aside disability as the elephant in the room.
Sometimes my disability causes me inconvenience, it's a total pain. But who doesn't have their own shit to deal with? Everyone, in my opinion, has been dealt a shitty hand in life. But we've all, also, been dealt good cards. We are all able to experience life, and its pleasures. I'll go as far as to say that the vast majority of disabled people will have learned to experience the same pleasures in different, varying, ways -- none objectively *worse* than the other. And they have struggles, yes, but so do "able-bodied" people. I'm physically disabled. But I'm not an alcoholic (yet), I'm not a crack addict, I don't have a criminal record, my parents are still together after my 31-year life. I have a wife, stepkids, the ability to go on vacation with a little financial help, and although I earn very little in my job, my disability benefits keep me afloat. My cards aren't too shitty, and let me tell you, I would rather be me than a lot of people I see walking through my town on a Friday night. So, my disability also gives me compassion for *them*, interest in them, some empathy with them, and the desire to get alongside them. But the the thing is: they -- the drug addicts, the homeless, the down-and-out -- they don't want my pity, just like I don't want theirs. I want their solidarity and empathy and they want mine. We all want to just say "Life is fucking hard sometimes, ain't it? But let's just share it together, and then it'll be good and we can say we did our best." To the next guy or girl, I have my own privilege. It's not a cut-and-dry thing.
As for this ex-football player (whose name I keep forgetting), his disability varies from mine in that it's degenerative, whereas I was born with mine so I know no different. This football player has obviously had to make progressively new adjustments to a deteriorating condition. I don't know what that's like (apart from the normal stuff associated with getting older, which my disability can touch on), but I can say that he's probably hugely grateful that he got to be a professional football player and see the world that way, and he's probably very happy that he's got the life he's got, and his desire is probably to life it to its fullest. Because none of us knows how long we'll be around, do we? We just fucking do our best at the time, with the shit we're dealt. And so will he. He's friends with Mike McCready! And he's good looking, articulate. He has his intellect and an ability to involve himself in journalism. He probably doesn't think he was dealt a shitty hand. He probably thinks that life sometimes chucks shit at you (to all of us), so you have to acclimatise yourself to the taste of shit cakes. Like we all do.
RisingTides wrote:There is more kindness on the internet than we would care to admit to ourselves. Sometimes we are so afraid of falling victim to a ruse, we miss out on actual opportunities.
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Re: Keep Harmless Company While He Waits for Lightning Bolt
You're a fucking spectacular person and I'm glad to know you, even just virtually speaking, harmless.
And I mean this very genuinely.
(Although I think the extent of my harmless fandom is pretty well documented at this point...)
And I mean this very genuinely.
(Although I think the extent of my harmless fandom is pretty well documented at this point...)
TEAM HARMLESS FOREVER...
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Re: Keep Harmless Company While He Waits for Lightning Bolt
That was an inspiring post. I'm glad to be around people like you.harmless wrote:OK. Well, I guess firstly to address stip's point: there will be times when it'll be appropriate to bring it up -- like if you're going out with your friend to eat and you need to check on disabled access at the restaurant or whatever. That's just practicality. Other than that, there's no reason to mention something (like someone's colour or sexuality) unless it comes up in conversation. These things aren't tragic, they're just part of what goes into making a person, like eye colour. I for one am perfectly happy to be asked any questions people may have about my disability, because I never want it to be "the elephant in the room". There's no reason for it to make either of us feel awkward. So on one level, no, it doesn't need to be mentioned for the sake of it. But on another, there's no reason it shouldn't be mentioned. Nobody's at risk by talking respectfully about it.Mine wrote:Yes.harmless wrote:So I'm a bit late to this so would anyone still be interested in my answer to it?stip wrote:A former student of mine was in a wheelchair. We never talked about it, and when he wanted to get in and out of the office I'd hold the door because it was easier for him. That was about it. But there are times I wondered if he wanted it acknowledged. Like the time a friend told me he was gay and i said I didn't careSgt. Crackpot wrote:You know, I think I can understand your viewpoint. Able-bodied people are often patronising to people that disabled. I've caught myself doing it before, and it feels terrible.harmless wrote:Cheers Lament.Lament wrote:For what it's worth, I get it.harmless wrote:Well, some people will, I'll just leave it, it doesn't matter.
Honestly, what else do you think they mean by "unique" in this instance? It's not that he's from the world of sports and they're from the world of music. The media has pushed the "Pearl Jam is friends with sports dudes!" angle ad nauseam since day one (Jack McDowell, Shawn Kemp, Dennis Rodman, Kelly Slater, Pete Sampras, Kerry Wood, Peter Gammons, Theo Epstein, etc.).
I think you're justified in being pissed off, harmless.
It's the same old shtick time and again: rather than just an interviewer, he's a guy afflicted with a disease, who happens to be a "huge fan" who is having his life's treat, meeting PJ. The fact that he's an ex-football player and thus a sports celebrity is a footnote in this case. It's infantilisation. Mike is clumsy with his words, so I don't expect any different from him, but I'm far too used to able-bodied people talking about how great it is to be around disabled people because we are so "inspiring". That's great, Mike, but hopefully he's cool to be around just because he is? I'm talking about portrayal, because the media will always give you a version of reality, not the whole thing. And this is a formulaic one I'm very used to. It's a charitable narrative but ultimately not a particularly respectful one.
It's an easy habit to fall into, instead of just treating that person the same regardless of their disability. Isn't there a saying, something like 'see the person, not the disability?'. But, there is often this feeling of needing to be extra nice, and give special treatment, to someone with a disability. I think it's mainly because that person got dealt a shitty hand, and I feel bad for them.
Now to the Sarge's point, which I wanted to address. Firstly, I get why the phrase "See the person, not the disability" is well-meaning and has good intentions. But I don't like it, because I'd rather people embraced my disability as part of my character and person. It's just as inherently part of my life as my wife and family, my eye colour, my talents and tastes, my PJ fandom, etc. So it doesn't need to go ignored as "the tragedy we don't talk about" any more than a person's skin colour, gender or sexuality would. Would you say to a black friend "I don't see you as black / gay / female, only as a person?" I'd imagine someone would be rightfully taken aback by that and slightly offended. Whatever I am as a person, the fact that I'm a disabled person is what goes towards making me, me. It's a crucial part of what's built my character, my hopes and dreams, my desires and tastes, etc., since I was born. So when people see me as a person, I say they're welcome to see my disability and fully acknowledge it, either as the positive influence on my life that it has been in many ways, or just, well, because it's there and it's no big deal.
Now to the concept of being "dealt a shitty hand". The thing with a perception like this is that it's entirely subjective. I can only speak for myself here: when you look at me and think "Man, he's been dealt a shitty hand in life", I'm looking at other people and thinking "Man, that person's been dealt a shitty hand in life." Every one of us, when we say something like that, is leaning on their relative happiness / contentment / privilege, and comparing it to someone else's "plight". The question is: how do you *know* that I feel like I've been dealt a shitty hand? That's not an objective thing, and it all depends on how I feel about it. Otherwise, you're merely going by your own (able-bodied) standards. The most obvious thing is, "I can walk. He can't. Therefore his life must be worse." I was born with Spina bifida and was never able to walk except for short distances on crutches. Other than that, I'm always in a wheelchair. Having had no sensation of not being able to walk unaided, I have never actually had any desire to. I feel absolutely no need to be able to walk on two feet, and wouldn't take the opportunity if it was given to me. It's like flying: would I like to be able to fly like an eagle over cliffs and shit? Well, it's entertaining to think about, and the obvious answer is "Yes", but it's fantasy; my inability to fly won't keep me up at night. And there are definite advantages to not walking: I'm on my ass all day. It can be relaxing and I don't get as tired as my companions when I go for long trips to places. Other people may feel different, but there it is. Be careful that your relative view of someone's life reflects their actual life, and not just your obviously-biased perspective on it. That, again, involves not pushing aside disability as the elephant in the room.
Sometimes my disability causes me inconvenience, it's a total pain. But who doesn't have their own shit to deal with? Everyone, in my opinion, has been dealt a shitty hand in life. But we've all, also, been dealt good cards. We are all able to experience life, and its pleasures. I'll go as far as to say that the vast majority of disabled people will have learned to experience the same pleasures in different, varying, ways -- none objectively *worse* than the other. And they have struggles, yes, but so do "able-bodied" people. I'm physically disabled. But I'm not an alcoholic (yet), I'm not a crack addict, I don't have a criminal record, my parents are still together after my 31-year life. I have a wife, stepkids, the ability to go on vacation with a little financial help, and although I earn very little in my job, my disability benefits keep me afloat. My cards aren't too shitty, and let me tell you, I would rather be me than a lot of people I see walking through my town on a Friday night. So, my disability also gives me compassion for *them*, interest in them, some empathy with them, and the desire to get alongside them. But the the thing is: they -- the drug addicts, the homeless, the down-and-out -- they don't want my pity, just like I don't want theirs. I want their solidarity and empathy and they want mine. We all want to just say "Life is fucking hard sometimes, ain't it? But let's just share it together, and then it'll be good and we can say we did our best." To the next guy or girl, I have my own privilege. It's not a cut-and-dry thing.
As for this ex-football player (whose name I keep forgetting), his disability varies from mine in that it's degenerative, whereas I was born with mine so I know no different. This football player has obviously had to make progressively new adjustments to a deteriorating condition. I don't know what that's like (apart from the normal stuff associated with getting older, which my disability can touch on), but I can say that he's probably hugely grateful that he got to be a professional football player and see the world that way, and he's probably very happy that he's got the life he's got, and his desire is probably to life it to its fullest. Because none of us knows how long we'll be around, do we? We just fucking do our best at the time, with the shit we're dealt. And so will he. He's friends with Mike McCready! And he's good looking, articulate. He has his intellect and an ability to involve himself in journalism. He probably doesn't think he was dealt a shitty hand. He probably thinks that life sometimes chucks shit at you (to all of us), so you have to acclimatise yourself to the taste of shit cakes. Like we all do.
cutuphalfdead wrote:so glad i don't see signatures
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Re: Keep Harmless Company While He Waits for Lightning Bolt
I enjoyed this, by the way. I'm a little baffled that they're appearing so much more human for this press go-around than for Backspacer's. It's as if I like hearing from them again.theplatypus wrote:evenslow wrote:Mark Richards Interviews Pearl Jam
http://www.theherald.com.au/story/18193 ... tos-video/
RisingTides wrote:There is more kindness on the internet than we would care to admit to ourselves. Sometimes we are so afraid of falling victim to a ruse, we miss out on actual opportunities.
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Re: Keep Harmless Company While He Waits for Lightning Bolt
Heathen wrote:That was an inspiring post. I'm glad to be around people like you.harmless wrote:OK. Well, I guess firstly to address stip's point: there will be times when it'll be appropriate to bring it up -- like if you're going out with your friend to eat and you need to check on disabled access at the restaurant or whatever. That's just practicality. Other than that, there's no reason to mention something (like someone's colour or sexuality) unless it comes up in conversation. These things aren't tragic, they're just part of what goes into making a person, like eye colour. I for one am perfectly happy to be asked any questions people may have about my disability, because I never want it to be "the elephant in the room". There's no reason for it to make either of us feel awkward. So on one level, no, it doesn't need to be mentioned for the sake of it. But on another, there's no reason it shouldn't be mentioned. Nobody's at risk by talking respectfully about it.Mine wrote:Yes.harmless wrote:So I'm a bit late to this so would anyone still be interested in my answer to it?stip wrote:A former student of mine was in a wheelchair. We never talked about it, and when he wanted to get in and out of the office I'd hold the door because it was easier for him. That was about it. But there are times I wondered if he wanted it acknowledged. Like the time a friend told me he was gay and i said I didn't careSgt. Crackpot wrote:You know, I think I can understand your viewpoint. Able-bodied people are often patronising to people that disabled. I've caught myself doing it before, and it feels terrible.harmless wrote:Cheers Lament.Lament wrote:For what it's worth, I get it.harmless wrote:Well, some people will, I'll just leave it, it doesn't matter.
Honestly, what else do you think they mean by "unique" in this instance? It's not that he's from the world of sports and they're from the world of music. The media has pushed the "Pearl Jam is friends with sports dudes!" angle ad nauseam since day one (Jack McDowell, Shawn Kemp, Dennis Rodman, Kelly Slater, Pete Sampras, Kerry Wood, Peter Gammons, Theo Epstein, etc.).
I think you're justified in being pissed off, harmless.
It's the same old shtick time and again: rather than just an interviewer, he's a guy afflicted with a disease, who happens to be a "huge fan" who is having his life's treat, meeting PJ. The fact that he's an ex-football player and thus a sports celebrity is a footnote in this case. It's infantilisation. Mike is clumsy with his words, so I don't expect any different from him, but I'm far too used to able-bodied people talking about how great it is to be around disabled people because we are so "inspiring". That's great, Mike, but hopefully he's cool to be around just because he is? I'm talking about portrayal, because the media will always give you a version of reality, not the whole thing. And this is a formulaic one I'm very used to. It's a charitable narrative but ultimately not a particularly respectful one.
It's an easy habit to fall into, instead of just treating that person the same regardless of their disability. Isn't there a saying, something like 'see the person, not the disability?'. But, there is often this feeling of needing to be extra nice, and give special treatment, to someone with a disability. I think it's mainly because that person got dealt a shitty hand, and I feel bad for them.
Now to the Sarge's point, which I wanted to address. Firstly, I get why the phrase "See the person, not the disability" is well-meaning and has good intentions. But I don't like it, because I'd rather people embraced my disability as part of my character and person. It's just as inherently part of my life as my wife and family, my eye colour, my talents and tastes, my PJ fandom, etc. So it doesn't need to go ignored as "the tragedy we don't talk about" any more than a person's skin colour, gender or sexuality would. Would you say to a black friend "I don't see you as black / gay / female, only as a person?" I'd imagine someone would be rightfully taken aback by that and slightly offended. Whatever I am as a person, the fact that I'm a disabled person is what goes towards making me, me. It's a crucial part of what's built my character, my hopes and dreams, my desires and tastes, etc., since I was born. So when people see me as a person, I say they're welcome to see my disability and fully acknowledge it, either as the positive influence on my life that it has been in many ways, or just, well, because it's there and it's no big deal.
Now to the concept of being "dealt a shitty hand". The thing with a perception like this is that it's entirely subjective. I can only speak for myself here: when you look at me and think "Man, he's been dealt a shitty hand in life", I'm looking at other people and thinking "Man, that person's been dealt a shitty hand in life." Every one of us, when we say something like that, is leaning on their relative happiness / contentment / privilege, and comparing it to someone else's "plight". The question is: how do you *know* that I feel like I've been dealt a shitty hand? That's not an objective thing, and it all depends on how I feel about it. Otherwise, you're merely going by your own (able-bodied) standards. The most obvious thing is, "I can walk. He can't. Therefore his life must be worse." I was born with Spina bifida and was never able to walk except for short distances on crutches. Other than that, I'm always in a wheelchair. Having had no sensation of not being able to walk unaided, I have never actually had any desire to. I feel absolutely no need to be able to walk on two feet, and wouldn't take the opportunity if it was given to me. It's like flying: would I like to be able to fly like an eagle over cliffs and shit? Well, it's entertaining to think about, and the obvious answer is "Yes", but it's fantasy; my inability to fly won't keep me up at night. And there are definite advantages to not walking: I'm on my ass all day. It can be relaxing and I don't get as tired as my companions when I go for long trips to places. Other people may feel different, but there it is. Be careful that your relative view of someone's life reflects their actual life, and not just your obviously-biased perspective on it. That, again, involves not pushing aside disability as the elephant in the room.
Sometimes my disability causes me inconvenience, it's a total pain. But who doesn't have their own shit to deal with? Everyone, in my opinion, has been dealt a shitty hand in life. But we've all, also, been dealt good cards. We are all able to experience life, and its pleasures. I'll go as far as to say that the vast majority of disabled people will have learned to experience the same pleasures in different, varying, ways -- none objectively *worse* than the other. And they have struggles, yes, but so do "able-bodied" people. I'm physically disabled. But I'm not an alcoholic (yet), I'm not a crack addict, I don't have a criminal record, my parents are still together after my 31-year life. I have a wife, stepkids, the ability to go on vacation with a little financial help, and although I earn very little in my job, my disability benefits keep me afloat. My cards aren't too shitty, and let me tell you, I would rather be me than a lot of people I see walking through my town on a Friday night. So, my disability also gives me compassion for *them*, interest in them, some empathy with them, and the desire to get alongside them. But the the thing is: they -- the drug addicts, the homeless, the down-and-out -- they don't want my pity, just like I don't want theirs. I want their solidarity and empathy and they want mine. We all want to just say "Life is fucking hard sometimes, ain't it? But let's just share it together, and then it'll be good and we can say we did our best." To the next guy or girl, I have my own privilege. It's not a cut-and-dry thing.
As for this ex-football player (whose name I keep forgetting), his disability varies from mine in that it's degenerative, whereas I was born with mine so I know no different. This football player has obviously had to make progressively new adjustments to a deteriorating condition. I don't know what that's like (apart from the normal stuff associated with getting older, which my disability can touch on), but I can say that he's probably hugely grateful that he got to be a professional football player and see the world that way, and he's probably very happy that he's got the life he's got, and his desire is probably to life it to its fullest. Because none of us knows how long we'll be around, do we? We just fucking do our best at the time, with the shit we're dealt. And so will he. He's friends with Mike McCready! And he's good looking, articulate. He has his intellect and an ability to involve himself in journalism. He probably doesn't think he was dealt a shitty hand. He probably thinks that life sometimes chucks shit at you (to all of us), so you have to acclimatise yourself to the taste of shit cakes. Like we all do.
RisingTides wrote:There is more kindness on the internet than we would care to admit to ourselves. Sometimes we are so afraid of falling victim to a ruse, we miss out on actual opportunities.
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Re: Keep Harmless Company While He Waits for Lightning Bolt
Thanks man, you too.Lament wrote:You're a fucking spectacular person and I'm glad to know you, even just virtually speaking, harmless.
And I mean this very genuinely.
(Although I think the extent of my harmless fandom is pretty well documented at this point...)
RisingTides wrote:There is more kindness on the internet than we would care to admit to ourselves. Sometimes we are so afraid of falling victim to a ruse, we miss out on actual opportunities.
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Re: Keep Harmless Company While He Waits for Lightning Bolt
Just going through my answer again, I'd like to edit it before it goes to press. Maybe RM, and particularly my contributions to the Lightning Bolt thread, are "the tragedy that we don't talk about".
RisingTides wrote:There is more kindness on the internet than we would care to admit to ourselves. Sometimes we are so afraid of falling victim to a ruse, we miss out on actual opportunities.
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Re: Keep Harmless Company While He Waits for Lightning Bolt
Maybe it's just the effect of weird sleep patterns, too much Rilo Kiley, and the general despair of existence, but all cynicism aside, this is a pretty awesome place. In my short time here I've grown quite find of a lot of you fuckers.
TEAM HARMLESS FOREVER...
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Re: Keep Harmless Company While He Waits for Lightning Bolt
Same. This has mostly been a safe refuge from Facebook, and I'd meet a lot of you in a heartbeat if I lived in the US.
RisingTides wrote:There is more kindness on the internet than we would care to admit to ourselves. Sometimes we are so afraid of falling victim to a ruse, we miss out on actual opportunities.
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Re: Keep Harmless Company While He Waits for Lightning Bolt
I'm not going to quote it again but harmless, that was a truly inspiring read. I was thinking similar things last night when the debate was rolling to do with the "elephant in the room" but you put that into words better than I could've ever imagined too.
Astoria 06, Reading 06, Wembley 07, O2 London 09, Milton Keynes 2014
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Re: Keep Harmless Company While He Waits for Lightning Bolt
RisingTides wrote:There is more kindness on the internet than we would care to admit to ourselves. Sometimes we are so afraid of falling victim to a ruse, we miss out on actual opportunities.
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Re: Keep Harmless Company While He Waits for Lightning Bolt
Sirens "Opens with a riff that sounds similar to their classic ‘Yellow Ledbetter’" according to this dude.
Also, despite having the title written right across the picture of the album cover and spelling it right in the intro, he then refers to the track as "Lightening Bolt" multiple times.
Also Future Days is apparently not on the album anymore.
Also, despite having the title written right across the picture of the album cover and spelling it right in the intro, he then refers to the track as "Lightening Bolt" multiple times.
Also Future Days is apparently not on the album anymore.
Last edited by Lament on Fri October 04, 2013 8:39 am, edited 1 time in total.
TEAM HARMLESS FOREVER...

