Death

[tree_]

I think I might die one day

[Higgs]

I've said for a while I'd be content making 80 and then shuffling off this mortal coil. Take a drive down to the beach and just keep on walking out.

Of course easier to say now at 50 then down the road at 79 I'm sure.

[knee tunes]

Pretty solid metal band.

Yeah, my kid is a big fan

[epilogue]

I think my uncle is planning on suicide soon.

Assisted or just DIY? My old man talks about the former.

DIY

We just got back from my Grandfather's 90th Birthday party. This is my uncle's dad. And at the end of the night my aunt (his wife) said to my grandfather "We'll be back this way in the summer, so you'll get to see him one more time."

Could be taken a lot of different ways, to be sure. But with everything else that I learned this past weekend, and given the conversations we had, I'm pretty sure this is happening.

Sorry?
I really think Mellencamp was onto something with, “Oh yeah, life goes on….long after the thrill of living is gone.’” We’re not supposed to live into our 80s and beyond.

My views on suicide are well documented on RM. If Uncle Tony wants to go, godspeed.

[epilogue]

If I'm as healthy (physically and mentally) as my grandfather is when I hit 90, I'll be thrilled to keep on living! While I'm certainly not afraid to die, and I've had some really low points where I thought maybe I was done, I still enjoy this stupid goddamn experiment and I hope to keep going as long as my brain and body let me.

But talk to me again when shit gets darker than dark and I swing back. Because I'm sure that's bound to happen.

[Mickey]

A friend with three young kids accidentally overdosed in mid-March, so yeah, been thinking about ol' death.

[Peeps]

I think about death a lot, especially after my heart attack. I wish I didn’t.

While my heart issues weren’t the same as you it did totally mind fuck me. I can at times feel the edge of a panic attack if for a split second I feel off. I really need to see a therapist to work through this

[Mickey]

Neighbor got into an altercation at a bar Friday, it seems, and somehow as a result suffered a heart attack or a stroke--not really clear, but he's reportedly in a coma with no brain activity. Really sucks, young-ish guy (younger than most of you fucks).

[BurtReynolds]

At a bar with a dude that just saw John Mayer. He's seen him 5 times this tour. I think I'm close to death.

[tragabigzanda]

There is a wolf in me . . . fangs pointed for tearing gashes . . . a red tongue for raw meat . . . and the hot lapping of blood—I keep this wolf because the wilderness gave it to me and the wilderness will not let it go.

There is a fox in me . . . a silver-gray fox . . . I sniff and guess . . . I pick things out of the wind and air . . . I nose in the dark night and take sleepers and eat them and hide the feathers . . . I circle and loop and double-cross.

There is a hog in me . . . a snout and a belly . . . a machinery for eating and grunting . . . a machinery for sleeping satisfied in the sun—I got this too from the wilderness and the wilderness will not let it go.

There is a fish in me . . . I know I came from salt-blue water-gates . . . I scurried with shoals of herring . . . I blew waterspouts with porpoises . . . before land was . . . before the water went down . . . before Noah . . . before the first chapter of Genesis.

There is a baboon in me . . . clambering-clawed . . . dog-faced . . . yawping a galoot's hunger . . . hairy under the armpits . . . here are the hawk-eyed hankering men . . . here are the blonde and blue-eyed women . . . here they hide curled asleep waiting . . . ready to snarl and kill . . . ready to sing and give milk . . . waiting—I keep the baboon because the wilderness says so.

There is an eagle in me and a mockingbird . . . and the eagle flies among the Rocky Mountains of my dreams and fights among the Sierra crags of what I want . . . and the mockingbird warbles in the early forenoon before the dew is gone, warbles in the underbrush of my Chattanoogas of hope, gushes over the blue Ozark foothills of my wishes—And I got the eagle and the mockingbird from the wilderness.

O, I got a zoo, I got a menagerie, inside my ribs, under my bony head, under my red-valve heart—and I got something else: it is a man-child heart, a woman-child heart: it is a father and mother and lover: it came from God-Knows-Where: it is going to God-Knows-Where—For I am the keeper of the zoo: I say yes and no: I sing and kill and work: I am a pal of the world: I came from the wilderness.

[BurtReynolds]

Lol Burt is socializing with the normies

It was traumatizing. How do you do it?

[tragabigzanda]

There is a wolf in me . . . fangs pointed for tearing gashes . . . a red tongue for raw meat . . . and the hot lapping of blood—I keep this wolf because the wilderness gave it to me and the wilderness will not let it go.

There is a fox in me . . . a silver-gray fox . . . I sniff and guess . . . I pick things out of the wind and air . . . I nose in the dark night and take sleepers and eat them and hide the feathers . . . I circle and loop and double-cross.

There is a hog in me . . . a snout and a belly . . . a machinery for eating and grunting . . . a machinery for sleeping satisfied in the sun—I got this too from the wilderness and the wilderness will not let it go.

There is a fish in me . . . I know I came from salt-blue water-gates . . . I scurried with shoals of herring . . . I blew waterspouts with porpoises . . . before land was . . . before the water went down . . . before Noah . . . before the first chapter of Genesis.

There is a baboon in me . . . clambering-clawed . . . dog-faced . . . yawping a galoot's hunger . . . hairy under the armpits . . . here are the hawk-eyed hankering men . . . here are the blonde and blue-eyed women . . . here they hide curled asleep waiting . . . ready to snarl and kill . . . ready to sing and give milk . . . waiting—I keep the baboon because the wilderness says so.

There is an eagle in me and a mockingbird . . . and the eagle flies among the Rocky Mountains of my dreams and fights among the Sierra crags of what I want . . . and the mockingbird warbles in the early forenoon before the dew is gone, warbles in the underbrush of my Chattanoogas of hope, gushes over the blue Ozark foothills of my wishes—And I got the eagle and the mockingbird from the wilderness.

O, I got a zoo, I got a menagerie, inside my ribs, under my bony head, under my red-valve heart—and I got something else: it is a man-child heart, a woman-child heart: it is a father and mother and lover: it came from God-Knows-Where: it is going to God-Knows-Where—For I am the keeper of the zoo: I say yes and no: I sing and kill and work: I am a pal of the world: I came from the wilderness.

[BurtReynolds]

Lol Burt is socializing with the normies

It was traumatizing. How do you do it?

A kid is the perfect excuse to leave anything, anytime. Have one!

The normies don't want to talk about philosophy. It's just endless small talk and complaining about rent! Mind numbing.

[tree_]

Lol Burt is socializing with the normies

It was traumatizing. How do you do it?

A kid is the perfect excuse to leave anything, anytime. Have one!

The normies don't want to talk about philosophy. It's just endless small talk and complaining about rent! Mind numbing.

That's when you fuck with them and blow their minds. Don't worry about what they think of you.

[Whitey McTeeth]

The night before I went to detox was my “last hurrah”, so I stupidly shot up one last time. Wound up going blue in the lips accordingly to my girlfriend, and needed 2 narcans to come to. I had the worse depression I can remember having before that overdose. After that, I kind of was done flirting with death.

[tree_]

Good to hear you've given it up. Sounds frightening.

[Whitey McTeeth]

It was, but I was addicted for the past five years. It became my normal routine. Took me a solid year to start to feel like myself again.

[tree_]

That takes a lot of will power, gumption. Good for you. Many, if not most addicts can't do that. Did your healing include running? Extensive cardio helped me get through some shit in the past.

[Whitey McTeeth]

I quit because I got tired of everything associated with it. The overdoses, the fucked up fights with my partner, and how it caused me to isolate myself.

[Whitey McTeeth]

I just like feeling again, good and bad.