What crazy shit/conspiracy do you believe?

[elliseamos]

Was that one built with 2.5 ton bricks and no machinery?

The aliens build the other one! It's all a simulation to enslave us!

[blueviper]

Now I'm picturing Burt in Gettysburg yelling at everyone.

[BurtReynolds]

Was that one built with [...] no machinery?

No. Just like modern Stonehenge.


The Stonehenge that was built by crazy druids thousands of years ago was destroyed and replaced by Henry the crane operator and the company he worked for in the 1900s. You can't just replace something ancient with a copy using modern technology and think it maintains all its history and significance and ancientness! You can't just stand the stones back up again and pretend like ancient druids did it!

[elliseamos]

Yeah, you can't rebuild something in honor of what was done previously and continue to honor the orginal accomplishment. That'd be like rebuilding a government building and pretending that the country and government still exist! Shit happens, sheeple!

[spike]

No conspiracy stone left unturned

[elliseamos]

I can't wait to read the live-blog of Burt's trip to Plymouth Plantation. The time of awakening is now, sheeple!

[elliseamos]

He's literally the uncle at Thanksgiving yelling about how it's all a commercial racket. The Indians didn't even eat turkey... It was made up as a jab at Franklin's stupid idea to use a turkey instead of the mighty bald eagle!

[BurtReynolds]

You have to let Stonehenge go. It's gone. It only lives on now in your heart. There is nothing there but a tourist attraction made by the British government in its place.

[spike]

bmac lives on in my heart

[elliseamos]

But what exactly is the conspiracy?

That's it's not the original?

*gasp*

How dare they!

[blueviper]

He's literally the uncle at Thanksgiving yelling about how it's all a commercial racket. The Indians didn't even eat turkey... It was made up as a jab at Franklin's stupid idea to use a turkey instead of the mighty bald eagle!

And prints out dozens of memes to show everyone. But halfway through his inkjet printer ran out of colored ink, so most are black and white and/or streaking.

[Bi_3]

But what exactly is the conspiracy?

That's it's not the original?

*gasp*

How dare they!

Italy got busted too. All European culture is "fake":

[BurtReynolds]

And they have the audacity to mock our culture as fake!

[elliseamos]

But, what's the conspiracy? That these aren't the originals?

That's a problem that, thanks to your sleuthing (or WYDNA) we're now free of the burdensome *LIES!


*that these things truly are as old as you think they are

[elliseamos]

When should I break it to Burt that most of Bob Ross's paintings weren't done by him?

[spike]

We should let all structures crumble. Don’t put a finger on them once they’re up; let’s see how that goes.

[spike]

But what exactly is the conspiracy?

That's it's not the original?

*gasp*

How dare they!

Italy got busted too. All European culture is "fake":

That nearly two thousand year old structure hasn’t been authentic for nearly two thousands years!

In 72 AD, construction for what would later be known as the world’s greatest amphitheater began during the reign of Emperor Vespasian and was completed by his son and successor, Titus, in 80AD. Further modifications were later made during the reign of Domitian (81-96AD).

[Bammer]

Michael Jordan committed 6 fouls in plenty of playoff games but there was no way in hell NBA refs were about to call 6 fouls on him.

[verb_to_trust]

Cite specific games or gtfo

[BurtReynolds]

We should let all structures crumble. Don’t put a finger on them once they’re up; let’s see how that goes.

Yes by all means let's restore all the ancient wonders to pristine condition using modern construction equipment. Why even repurpose the old materials? We could replace them with steel reinforced concrete. That would be much better. We could put solar panels an them so they are green.

But we'll still pretend they're ancient though. We'll still pretend the ancients were so good at building that they exist forever, even though they don't.

What other lies do you tell yourself?