2013 NFL Season

[Harry Lime]

As long as they're doing well, I'm on the Cleveland bandwagon.

[Simple Torture]

he will pistol whip a cab driver, or help his mom shoot someone and get himself suspended again soon

How has this not been turned into a "Deal With It" gif yet? Someone get on that!

[Joesanity]

Even with two quarterbacks knocked out of the game, this may be the best Bills/Browns game I can remember in a long time.

The 2007 game was the best. (half joking)

[Green Habit]

Seahawks should definitely be Lisa instead of CBG--especially if Bart is going to be the Niners.

Other than that, they were all good, even if some were painfully obvious (Raiders, Patriots, Cowboys, Eagles, Packers, Saints). Homer as the Bears and the Crazy Cat Lady at the Jets were especially good. However, the best one by far has to be Gil for the Browns.

Meanwhile, here's my shot at what the other 16 teams could be:
--Bills: Hans Moleman (95 year old Ralph Wilson)
--Dolphins: Troy McClure (lots of celebrities as minority owners and the general glitz of, say, South Beach)
--Bengals: Apu (runs the business cheaply yet is young, scrappy, and having some success)
--Steelers: Abe (plenty of past glory days but is now growing old and beat up)
--Texans: Lenny & Carl (both alums of Springfield A&M, and Kubes is a Texas A&M alum...this was a tough one)
--Colts: Krusty (Jim Irsay sure says a lot of comical things on Twitter)
--Broncos: Otto (I first thought of Frink because of Peyton, but let's be honest, weed is legal there and they have had way too many substance abuse problems)
--Chiefs: Chief Wiggum (probably wears the same size clothes as Andy Reid, and would be a big fan of the BBQ at Arrowhead)
--Giants: Nelson (likely Ha-Ha-ing at the Jets for their sheer incompetence and the Pats for owning them in Super Bowls. Though, this year, the tall guy in the VW bug may be getting his revenge...)
--Redskins: Lindsey Naegle (ruthless businesswoman, like Dan Snyder as a ruthless businessman)
--Vikings: Edna Krabappel (lots of always a bridesmaid moments with this franchise)
--Falcons: Waylon Smithers (Dimitroff as a former Pats lackey?...shrug, help me here, Electro)
--Panthers: Seymour Skinner (Another tough one...the owner and the fans seem to want this team run pretty straight edge, though)
--Bucs: Leopold (like Schiano, a whole lotta bark but not much bite)
--Cardinals: Maggie (this team rarely makes much noise)
--Rams: Ralph Wiggum (this team was run like an underachieving second grader for a while until Fisher came into town)

And...here we go. I should probably post this on Reddit.



Changes I made from my original thoughts:
--I shifted the Rich Texan over to the Texans (still obvious), and gave the Steelers Disco Stu because, let's be honest, Abe is really the perfect one for the Cowboys. Their best times are in the past, and Jerry Jones could be the new Al Davis in the senility department.
--I took Burt's suggestion for Ned for the Colts, because although CCL is hilarious, Krusty is slightly more suitable for the Jets.
--I couldn't find a good Leopold picture, so I went for Capt. McAllister for the Bucs. Kinda obvious, but then again, Malcolm Glazer kind of looks like him.
--Speaking of dead ringers, once I remembered Artie Ziff I realized how perfect he compares to Dan Snyder.

If I find time, I may merge the first one with mine, and make the few corrections I think are more suitable.

EDIT: Oh, and I'm still not thrilled with my Falcons and Panthers choices. If anyone has better ideas, let me know.

[elliseamos]

Seahawks should definitely be Lisa instead of CBG--especially if Bart is going to be the Niners.

Other than that, they were all good, even if some were painfully obvious (Raiders, Patriots, Cowboys, Eagles, Packers, Saints). Homer as the Bears and the Crazy Cat Lady at the Jets were especially good. However, the best one by far has to be Gil for the Browns.

Meanwhile, here's my shot at what the other 16 teams could be:
--Bills: Hans Moleman (95 year old Ralph Wilson)
--Dolphins: Troy McClure (lots of celebrities as minority owners and the general glitz of, say, South Beach)
--Bengals: Apu (runs the business cheaply yet is young, scrappy, and having some success)
--Steelers: Abe (plenty of past glory days but is now growing old and beat up)
--Texans: Lenny & Carl (both alums of Springfield A&M, and Kubes is a Texas A&M alum...this was a tough one)
--Colts: Krusty (Jim Irsay sure says a lot of comical things on Twitter)
--Broncos: Otto (I first thought of Frink because of Peyton, but let's be honest, weed is legal there and they have had way too many substance abuse problems)
--Chiefs: Chief Wiggum (probably wears the same size clothes as Andy Reid, and would be a big fan of the BBQ at Arrowhead)
--Giants: Nelson (likely Ha-Ha-ing at the Jets for their sheer incompetence and the Pats for owning them in Super Bowls. Though, this year, the tall guy in the VW bug may be getting his revenge...)
--Redskins: Lindsey Naegle (ruthless businesswoman, like Dan Snyder as a ruthless businessman)
--Vikings: Edna Krabappel (lots of always a bridesmaid moments with this franchise)
--Falcons: Waylon Smithers (Dimitroff as a former Pats lackey?...shrug, help me here, Electro)
--Panthers: Seymour Skinner (Another tough one...the owner and the fans seem to want this team run pretty straight edge, though)
--Bucs: Leopold (like Schiano, a whole lotta bark but not much bite)
--Cardinals: Maggie (this team rarely makes much noise)
--Rams: Ralph Wiggum (this team was run like an underachieving second grader for a while until Fisher came into town)

And...here we go. I should probably post this on Reddit.



Changes I made from my original thoughts:
--I shifted the Rich Texan over to the Texans (still obvious), and gave the Steelers Disco Stu because, let's be honest, Abe is really the perfect one for the Cowboys. Their best times are in the past, and Jerry Jones could be the new Al Davis in the senility department.
--I took Burt's suggestion for Ned for the Colts, because although CCL is hilarious, Krusty is slightly more suitable for the Jets.
--I couldn't find a good Leopold picture, so I went for Capt. McAllister for the Bucs. Kinda obvious, but then again, Malcolm Glazer kind of looks like him.
--Speaking of dead ringers, once I remembered Artie Ziff I realized how perfect he compares to Dan Snyder.

If I find time, I may merge the first one with mine, and make the few corrections I think are more suitable.

EDIT: Oh, and I'm still not thrilled with my Falcons and Panthers choices. If anyone has better ideas, let me know.

why wouldn't Apu be the redskins?

[Green Habit]

why wouldn't Apu be the redskins?

Heh. Artie Ziff is just too perfect, though.

[elliseamos]

i like the seahawks idea you posted before, gh, but couldn't bart be the ravens and lisa the 9ers in ode to the harbaughs? then the bengals could be snake and then oakland could be sideshow bob. also, the broncos were on the show when homer became owner of the team, so they should be there as a squad. lastly, we'd need different texans/cowboys characters, so maybe that'd be the place for mr. burns and smithers, cowboys and texans respectively. not sure what that would leave for the pats.

[Green Habit]

i like the seahawks idea you posted before, gh, but couldn't bart be the ravens and lisa the 9ers in ode to the harbaughs?

Hm, not a bad idea. I was considering swapping Bart and Lisa because Lisa's personality and beliefs fit in perfectly with SF. Bart would be a good fit for the Ravens, though--their players seem to have a mischievous yet clever side to them.

This leaves the Seahawks open, though. Professor Frink?

then the bengals could be snake and then oakland could be sideshow bob.

I know we've had fun with the "Bengals hire criminals" jokes for a while, but I think they've finally turned the corner in that department. Snake is definitely staying with the Raiders.

also, the broncos were on the show when homer became owner of the team, so they should be there as a squad.

Even if I wanted to do this, there's no way I could find a good enough resolution to make it look pretty.

lastly, we'd need different texans/cowboys characters, so maybe that'd be the place for mr. burns and smithers, cowboys and texans respectively. not sure what that would leave for the pats.

I know you'll likely disagree with this, but I think the original guy nailed it with Burns for the Pats. If it were 20 years ago, that'd be a different story. Plus, I'm liking more the idea of putting Abe with the Cowboys.

[Green Habit]

Bart would be a good fit for the Ravens, though--their players seem to have a mischievous yet clever side to them.

Oh yeah, and there's also this:

Spoiler: show

[Green Habit]

This leaves the Seahawks open, though. Professor Frink?

Got it--Martin. That keeps my theme of children in the NFC West going.

EDIT:

Spoiler: show

[Dr. Van Nostrand]

Looking forward to another full day of games, and the first week i know i won't be upset about a heartbreaking bucs loss

[Green Habit]

[Dr. Van Nostrand]

I saw that on countdown a few minutes ago and went HAHA

[Green Habit]

[Dr. Van Nostrand]

I've got it dvred

[red calzolaio]

I've got it dvred

pretty touching.

[@SkitchP]

Calvin Johnson is out today.

[Dr. Van Nostrand]

Calvin Johnson is out today.

I was very surprised by that

[BurtReynolds]

I know the saint's D is improved, but that Chicago offensive line looks atrocious.

[Green Habit]

Damn, the Titans keep shooting themselves in the foot.