Ask RM a Question

[macphisto]

I often see regular looking dudes with fat orca wives and think to myself, “Man, he must hate his life.” Are any of you in that situation? Do you hate your life?

I’m sure those dudes have their AR-15’s to protect them from all of the black people shooting at them so they probably aren’t completely miserable

Don’t drift the topic. As a mod, you’re supposed to be better than that.

[bodysnatcher]

Haven't used an alarm clock in 7 or 8 years.

Me either, I’m usually startled awake by my crippling anxiety

[Higgs]

Haven't used an alarm clock in 7 or 8 years.

Me either, I’m usually startled awake by my crippling anxiety

General financial and health fears have done it for me the last 4 or 5 years. Up at 4:30am like clock work, but without the clock.

[knee tunes]

Haven't used an alarm clock in 7 or 8 years.

That's because your cell phone punches it out

[knee tunes]

Does anyone set their alarm for anything other than five minute increments? Have you ever set an alarm for say, 6:37 am?

That would be me.

5 minute increment people might as well use uppercase sometimes and also punctuation and all that. pffft

[B]

I often see regular looking dudes with fat orca wives and think to myself, “Man, he must hate his life.” Are any of you in that situation? Do you hate your life?

I’m sure those dudes have their AR-15’s to protect them from all of the black people shooting at them so they probably aren’t completely miserable

Don’t drift the topic. As a mod, you’re supposed to be better than that.

In his defense, it's hard to be a human and stay on topic with that sort of garbage.

[The Argonaut]

Do we need macchiato? We deleted GD. Can't we pretend his account was like stuck to it digitally or something? Sorry, mac, that's that's the internet sometimes

[macphisto]

That’s that’s that’s that’s that’s that’s that’s nice.

[wease]

I often see regular looking dudes with fat orca wives and think to myself, “Man, he must hate his life.” Are any of you in that situation? Do you hate your life?

“Fat orca wives?” Jesus what a piece of shit you are.

[macphisto]

Found one.

[macphisto]

My wife keeps her body nice n tight for her health and my enjoyment. Letting yourself turn into a ham planet shows complete disrespect for your spouse.

[JuanHamm]

Do we need macchiato? We deleted GD. Can't we pretend his account was like stuck to it digitally or something? Sorry, mac, that's that's the internet sometimes

B?

[epilogue]

Found one.

Last chance

[knee tunes]

My wife keeps her body nice n tight for her health and my enjoyment. Letting yourself turn into a ham planet shows complete disrespect for your spouse.

Omg . Ham planet

[tree_]

If only nobody ever made jokes that made fun of anything or anyone, the world would be a much happier place.

[tragabigzanda]

There is a wolf in me . . . fangs pointed for tearing gashes . . . a red tongue for raw meat . . . and the hot lapping of blood—I keep this wolf because the wilderness gave it to me and the wilderness will not let it go.

There is a fox in me . . . a silver-gray fox . . . I sniff and guess . . . I pick things out of the wind and air . . . I nose in the dark night and take sleepers and eat them and hide the feathers . . . I circle and loop and double-cross.

There is a hog in me . . . a snout and a belly . . . a machinery for eating and grunting . . . a machinery for sleeping satisfied in the sun—I got this too from the wilderness and the wilderness will not let it go.

There is a fish in me . . . I know I came from salt-blue water-gates . . . I scurried with shoals of herring . . . I blew waterspouts with porpoises . . . before land was . . . before the water went down . . . before Noah . . . before the first chapter of Genesis.

There is a baboon in me . . . clambering-clawed . . . dog-faced . . . yawping a galoot's hunger . . . hairy under the armpits . . . here are the hawk-eyed hankering men . . . here are the blonde and blue-eyed women . . . here they hide curled asleep waiting . . . ready to snarl and kill . . . ready to sing and give milk . . . waiting—I keep the baboon because the wilderness says so.

There is an eagle in me and a mockingbird . . . and the eagle flies among the Rocky Mountains of my dreams and fights among the Sierra crags of what I want . . . and the mockingbird warbles in the early forenoon before the dew is gone, warbles in the underbrush of my Chattanoogas of hope, gushes over the blue Ozark foothills of my wishes—And I got the eagle and the mockingbird from the wilderness.

O, I got a zoo, I got a menagerie, inside my ribs, under my bony head, under my red-valve heart—and I got something else: it is a man-child heart, a woman-child heart: it is a father and mother and lover: it came from God-Knows-Where: it is going to God-Knows-Where—For I am the keeper of the zoo: I say yes and no: I sing and kill and work: I am a pal of the world: I came from the wilderness.

[tree_]

i guess i can't schake my schtick

[bodysnatcher]

Terrible.

[tragabigzanda]

There is a wolf in me . . . fangs pointed for tearing gashes . . . a red tongue for raw meat . . . and the hot lapping of blood—I keep this wolf because the wilderness gave it to me and the wilderness will not let it go.

There is a fox in me . . . a silver-gray fox . . . I sniff and guess . . . I pick things out of the wind and air . . . I nose in the dark night and take sleepers and eat them and hide the feathers . . . I circle and loop and double-cross.

There is a hog in me . . . a snout and a belly . . . a machinery for eating and grunting . . . a machinery for sleeping satisfied in the sun—I got this too from the wilderness and the wilderness will not let it go.

There is a fish in me . . . I know I came from salt-blue water-gates . . . I scurried with shoals of herring . . . I blew waterspouts with porpoises . . . before land was . . . before the water went down . . . before Noah . . . before the first chapter of Genesis.

There is a baboon in me . . . clambering-clawed . . . dog-faced . . . yawping a galoot's hunger . . . hairy under the armpits . . . here are the hawk-eyed hankering men . . . here are the blonde and blue-eyed women . . . here they hide curled asleep waiting . . . ready to snarl and kill . . . ready to sing and give milk . . . waiting—I keep the baboon because the wilderness says so.

There is an eagle in me and a mockingbird . . . and the eagle flies among the Rocky Mountains of my dreams and fights among the Sierra crags of what I want . . . and the mockingbird warbles in the early forenoon before the dew is gone, warbles in the underbrush of my Chattanoogas of hope, gushes over the blue Ozark foothills of my wishes—And I got the eagle and the mockingbird from the wilderness.

O, I got a zoo, I got a menagerie, inside my ribs, under my bony head, under my red-valve heart—and I got something else: it is a man-child heart, a woman-child heart: it is a father and mother and lover: it came from God-Knows-Where: it is going to God-Knows-Where—For I am the keeper of the zoo: I say yes and no: I sing and kill and work: I am a pal of the world: I came from the wilderness.

[E.H. Ruddock]

Please stop