Simple Torture: A Seattle Mariners Thread

[numbers]

I miss when these droughts were since pre-ww1 instead of since when I was a teenager.

[Bammer]

In recognition of the Mariners being shut out four times last week, I thought I'd spread a little of the torture around. I'm not proud of how much time I spent on this M's/PJ mashup but here we go.

Ten Griffey, Jr.
1. Juance Beniquez
2. Even Flomar Vizquel
3. Aliven Davis
4. Whily Go Pena
5. Quinton McBlacken
6. Jeremy Bonderman
7. Ichiroceans
8. Scott Porchsednik
9. Eddie Guardendo
10. Jerry Deepoto
11. Kendrys Morelease

[Bammer]

Vs. (Dan Firovagainst One)
1. Shawn Go’malley
2. Animalex Rodriguez
3. Daughterry Mulholland
4. Glorified Giomar Guevara
5. Chris Dissidenorfia
6. WMA (White Middle-infielder Anderson, Jim)
7. Blud Bulling
8. Brad Rearviewmiller
9. Rob Ratsmussen
10. Elderly Woman Behind The Counter In A Steve Trout
11. Brian Leasher
12. Rick Indifferenteria

[Bammer]

Yorvitalogy Torrealba
1. Pete Laddst Exit
2. Michael Spineda Black Circle
3. Bob Wolcott For You
4. Mark McTremore Christ
5. Robinson Canothingman
6. Charles Whipson
7. Stephen Pryor, To
8. Corduroy Corcoran
9. Bug Black
10. Satan’s Erik Bedard
11. Lee Guetterman
12. Justin Kaye Davanita
13. Immortalityler Olson
14. Hey Foxymopjohnhalama, That’s Me

[Bammer]

No Codell Jones
1. Sometims Belcher
2. John Hale, Hale
3. Who You Arthur Rhodes
4. Al Martin My Tree
5. Brian J. Smiles
6. Jose Offerman He Goes
7. Mitch Habiter
8. Red Mosquitom Lampkin
9. Mike Lukingery
10. Present Luis Torrence
11. Jordan Zimmermankind
12. I’m Mark Trumbopen
13. Around The Ben Gamel

[Bammer]

Bruce Yields
1. Brain of J.P. Crawford
2. Jim Faithfullinger
3. Hector Nowaysi
4. Given To Floyd Bannister
5. Willie Bloomquishlist
6. Greg? Brilate
7. Do The Evolushawn Boskie
8. Henry Red Dotto
9. MFC (Mike Fucking Cameron)
10. Jeff Cirillow Light
11. Chance Ruffin Hiding
12. Charlie Furbush Me Pull Me
13. All Those Jason Bays

[Bammer]

Binaural Chambers
1. Breakerphil Bradley
2. K-Rods’ Dice
3. Evacuasean Spencer
4. Ron Wright Years
5. Nothing As It Sveums
6. Thin Airold Reynolds
7. Insignificlance Parrish
8. Of The Girling Hitchcock
9. Grievance Lovelace
10. Rene Rivalra
11. Sleight Of Jack Hannahan
12. Shin-Soo Choon Forget
13. Corey Harting Ways

[Bammer]

Riot Manny Acta
1. Mark Gran’t Keep
2. Save Yuniesky Betancourt
3. Love Boat Kotchman
4. Cropdustern Ackley
5. Juan Aghosto
6. I Am Felix Fermine
7. Thumbing My Wayne Twitchell
8. You Armando Benitez
9. Get Jamey Wright
10. Sean Green Disease
11. Ken Phelps, Phelps
12. Brandon Bushleague
13. Half Tartabull
14. Arc Langston
15. Bobby Ayalor None

[Bammer]

Pearl James Paxton
1. Jim Lifebvre Wasted
2. World Wide Brian Snyde(r)
3. Joey Coratose
4. Severed Randy Johnson
5. Marker In The Randy Winn
6. Omar Olivarachutes
7. Unemployabill Swift
8. Big Wade Miley
9. Bone
10. Wasted Cox Reprise
11. Manny Armyento Reserve
12. Jesus Colome Back
13. Inside Jon Huber

[Bammer]

John Buckspacer
1. Gonna See My Brendan Ryan
2. Paul Abbott Some
3. The Felixher Nandez
4. Johnny Guitarter Capps
5. Jack Cust Breathe
6. Amongst the Daves (Valle, Burba, Hendu)
7. Justin Uptonthought Known
8. Aaron Loopersonic
9. Jeremy Reed Of Sound
10. Mike Morse Of Nature
11. The Endy Chavez

[Bammer]

Mark Leiterning Bolt
1. Getadwayne Henry
2. Adam Lind Your Manners
3. My Father’s Dan Wilson
4. Paul Sirento
5. Lightning Bob Ayrault
6. Infalliblake Beavan
7. Penndulum Murfee
8. Swallowed Wholerud
9. Let The Records Playlor Trammell
10. Sleeping Byron McSelf
11. Yellow Bret Boone
12. Future Robbie Rays

[Bammer]

Gigatom Wilhelmsen
1. Who Ever Ted Power
2. Superblood Wolfmanny Castillo
3. Ty France Of The Clairvoyants
4. Travis Chick Escape
5. Ron Alwright
6. Seven O’Keith Comstock
7. Never Destinashawn Barton
8. Take The Long Clay Parker
9. Bucky Jacobsen Up
10. Comes Then Goose Gossage
11. Matt Sinatrograde
12. River Cross Jones

[Bammer]

Steve Burken Ball
1. Shed Long Road
2. I Got Dave Schmidt

[spike]

tl;dr

[Bammer]

Yeah that was a huge waste of time

[doug rr]

Yeah that was a huge waste of OUR time

[numbers]

This was a bit much man

[Bammer]

Don’t everybody list their favorite all at once

[Bammer]

I’m sitting out here on the back patio with the dog watching the m’s for a few innings. I go inside to read the kids a book for bedtime and then come back downstairs to watch the game. While I’m gone upstairs the m’s go back-to-back-to-back dingers for the first time in 18 years.

[Simple Torture]

I’m sitting out here on the back patio with the dog watching the m’s

Imagine just casually admitting to animal abuse like this.