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[spike]

I like to look out the window.

I do however get startled every now and then by someone at the door behind me.

New guy in accounting just got his own office and had his choice … he goes back to window which I think is a shame.

Probably because he’s on RM all day.

[Bammer]

I like to look out the window.

I do however get startled every now and then by someone at the door behind me.

New guy in accounting just got his own office and had his choice … he goes back to window which I think is a shame.

Probably because he’s on RM all day.

He is not a white male age 38-52. Impossible.

[The Argonaut]

You're the drummer in a wedding band and it's time for the father-daughter dance. You have a father and/or a daughter, so this dance is always one of your favorite parts of any gig. Today, the guests agree with you and they're into it, too. The song is upbeat and peppy and the crowd starts clapping along.

But, oh no! They are clapping off-beat! Like, horrendously, horribly off-beat. How do they think this is the beat? You try to throw in a little extra bing-bang-boom to knock the crowd off their wrong beat and get them back into line, but the crowd ignores you. There is nothing you can do to convince them to get back on the correct beat.

Do you just give in to the crowd and change your drumming, hoping the rest of the band has the wisdom to understand that you are doing what needs to be done and the dexterity to adjust accordingly? Or do you power through, close your mind to the off-beat claps, and keep on the path?

[Jorge]

You give em one of these

[bodysnatcher]

Dudes who stand up to pee: do you aim directly for the water? Or do you bank it in off the side walls?

[Bammer]

Dudes who stand up to pee:

[Bammer]

Rank the ones who don’t

[tragabigzanda]

There is a wolf in me . . . fangs pointed for tearing gashes . . . a red tongue for raw meat . . . and the hot lapping of blood—I keep this wolf because the wilderness gave it to me and the wilderness will not let it go.

There is a fox in me . . . a silver-gray fox . . . I sniff and guess . . . I pick things out of the wind and air . . . I nose in the dark night and take sleepers and eat them and hide the feathers . . . I circle and loop and double-cross.

There is a hog in me . . . a snout and a belly . . . a machinery for eating and grunting . . . a machinery for sleeping satisfied in the sun—I got this too from the wilderness and the wilderness will not let it go.

There is a fish in me . . . I know I came from salt-blue water-gates . . . I scurried with shoals of herring . . . I blew waterspouts with porpoises . . . before land was . . . before the water went down . . . before Noah . . . before the first chapter of Genesis.

There is a baboon in me . . . clambering-clawed . . . dog-faced . . . yawping a galoot's hunger . . . hairy under the armpits . . . here are the hawk-eyed hankering men . . . here are the blonde and blue-eyed women . . . here they hide curled asleep waiting . . . ready to snarl and kill . . . ready to sing and give milk . . . waiting—I keep the baboon because the wilderness says so.

There is an eagle in me and a mockingbird . . . and the eagle flies among the Rocky Mountains of my dreams and fights among the Sierra crags of what I want . . . and the mockingbird warbles in the early forenoon before the dew is gone, warbles in the underbrush of my Chattanoogas of hope, gushes over the blue Ozark foothills of my wishes—And I got the eagle and the mockingbird from the wilderness.

O, I got a zoo, I got a menagerie, inside my ribs, under my bony head, under my red-valve heart—and I got something else: it is a man-child heart, a woman-child heart: it is a father and mother and lover: it came from God-Knows-Where: it is going to God-Knows-Where—For I am the keeper of the zoo: I say yes and no: I sing and kill and work: I am a pal of the world: I came from the wilderness.

[wease]

Dudes who stand up to pee: do you aim directly for the water? Or do you bank it in off the side walls?

Water most of the time. If there’s something clinging to the side walls I see it as a personal challenge to remove them with my powerful stream.

[bodysnatcher]

I have a black light and will test both strategies to see which creates less splashback

[JuanHamm]

Do you refrigerate chocolate?

[daft twat]

1. Trag

2. Daft

Since I’m an alcoholic, I get up to piss every night. I’m legally blind without contacts, and I don’t want to turn on the light and really wake my existential brain anyway so I sit at night.

During the day. I aim for water, but I also always turn the fan on. White noise relaxes me. I sleep with it, and I piss with it when I can. I wish hand dryers in public restrooms ran continuously.

Really looking forward to what the midget librarian does with this post.

[The Argonaut]

wtf

[BurtReynolds]

lot of info to dig through in that post.

[Bammer]

Superior thread title coming through

[doug rr]

Do you refrigerate chocolate?

freezer

[The Argonaut]

Daft? Hello? I am still distressed over your last post. Please clarify! I can't eat, I can't sleep

[The Argonaut]

Is it because I am anti-air-dryer?

Think about it. Do you think the cleaning crew ever takes the screwdriver and opens that thing up to clean the filters and the grills?

No!

So, what is it doing in that room in which people poop all day? It's taking the poop-infused air and heating it up so more gross germs can grow. And then you blow it on your hands.

I never use air dryers and try to breathe as little as possible in bathrooms that have them. They're gross!

[Jorge]

Never thought about it but that does sound kind of gross

[tree_]

call me a moron but i'm pretty sure smelly poop particles don't travel around in the air... unless people are coughing and sneezing with poop in their mouth