Thread for Counter-arguments against claims no one ever made

[Lament]

I think the title is self-explanatory, and if used properly this could really clean up a lot of the threads on here.

Basically if you have a really good counter-argument/dismissal of a claim, but no one has ever actually made it, you can just post it here and save us all time. This will be a useful thread for most new posters, I would imagine. I'll get things rolling...

1. I am sick of hearing that there are more songs on Lightning Bolt than Riot Act. I have Riot Act in front of me and it has fifteen songs. My copy of Lightning Bolt hasn't arrived yet, but I am pretty certain there are less than fifteen songs. I wish all of you RM hipsters would just stop acting like there are more songs on Lightning Bolt.

2. Pearl Jam are not going to make a rap record. It's not in their system, it's not the way they're wired. Some of you need to accept that and stop complaining so much about it. They make rock records. They're not gonna suddenly change, so it's silly to keep demanding that they do. It probably wouldn't be that good anyway.

3. It makes me sad when I see people say that harmless is not invested enough in the release of this new album. He has worked his ass off, and I get angry when I come on here and see people say he doesn't care. He does. It doesn't make you any cooler to say he doesn't. It makes you a hipster.

4. They've played shows in Philadelphia before. I'm pretty sure I saw one. I get that now it's cool to say "Oh, Pearl Jam has never played in Philadelphia before." But I guess I'm just one of those weirdos who has seen Pearl Jam play in Philadelphia and thinks "Hey, Pearl Jam has played in Philadelphia before." I don't know if they've played in Boston. Maybe chud knows.

Alright people, get it off your chests...

[CupidStunt]

It's only been 4 years since Backspacer, so I don't know why people keep saying it's 5.

Spoiler: show

Oh shit, people actually dosay it's been 5 years.

[Lament]

I'm tired of reading posts about how Pearl Jam didn't rise from the ashes of Mother Love Bone. How dare you talk about the grunge veterans that way...

[Juvenal]

Butthurt. All I see is butthurt!

[Lament]

No one on here respects the Vitalogy-No Code-Yield run of records very much. It's like they never even happened. You guys should go back and check them out. You may be surprised. They're not bad.

[fishbob]

Guys, get over Matt Chamberlain leaving the band. He ain't coming back, not now and not ever. I know he made an absolutely integral contribution to the band's history but it's time to move on.

[Sgt. Crackpot]

The band was never the same after their original singer died when they released Ten. Their replacement singer sucks.

[Mike]

What? Of course the tightness of his undergarments influences his singing ability. We all know Jill likes Ed to wear some tight panties and just look at what happened to his voice after he married Jill. Beth was strictly anti-undergarments resulting in a beautiful and full-bodied vedder. I bet Jill and Ed experimented with swapping underwear during the Avocado recording sessions.

[Citizen Dick]

a beautiful and full-bodied vedder

I don't care if this is a counter claim to a fictitious argument I just want more people to start using the phrase "a beautiful and full-bodied vedder."

Preferably in reference to cheese.

[Sgt. Crackpot]

a beautiful and full-bodied vedder

I don't care if this is a counter claim to a fictitious argument I just want more people to start using the phrase "a beautiful and full-bodied vedder."

Preferably in reference to cheese.

Aye to that.

[stupidmop]

I'm gonna start using full bodied Vedder for whenever ed fucks up a song.

" Infallible has full bodied Vedder though, such a shame"

[Mike]

Just because Jill is a model does not mean she doesn't feed Ed well enough. She nurtured him to be a beautiful and full-bodied man.

Spoiler: show

[Lament]

Guys, get over Matt Chamberlain leaving the band. He ain't coming back, not now and not ever. I know he made an absolutely integral contribution to the band's history but it's time to move on.

Pearl Jam never sounded quite like Pearl Jam without him.

[liebzz]

Sirens sounds nothing like Pigs on the Wing...why do we keep revisiting this!?

[McParadigm]

Guys, she never even TOLD me she was married.

[harmless]

If I want to daily change my mind about this band and the quality (and lack thereof) of their material, let me. I need to be free to be me. If I want to say they're terrible, I've earned the right. Let me. If I want to gush about how amazing they are, don't worry about the fact that I did it when you weren't reading the forum, just lambaste me anyway!

[Lament]

Guys, she never even TOLD me she was married.

Fair enough man. But, just to play devil's advocate, how many fourteen year olds are?

[harmless]

Let's rank the counter-arguments against claims no one ever made!

[Lament]

It seems silly that so many people think the band would make better music if Ed had spent more time making and releasing sex tapes with Judd Apatow, Call Me Maybe, and that indian chick from The Office in between records. Don't get me wrong, I get why it's hard not to wish he had once the thought enters your head, but I can't think of a single way that would make the band's music any better.

[Lament]

Clearly you haven't seen PJ20, because Pearl Jam absolutely rose from the ashes of Mother Love Bone. Cameron Crowe told me so.