What are your favorite jokes from TV shows?

[JuanHamm]

I think about this joke all the time. I think it's my favorite Simpsons joke and maybe my all-time favorite TV show joke.

[lennytheweedwhacker]

To be honest, I never paid that line much attention.

[JuanHamm]

I think that might be the funniest episode of the Simpsons.

[Farmer John]

"Four Kustys" is a good one. I think about that joke all the time, too.

[lennytheweedwhacker]

Interesting. I missed something in that appears.

[Simple Torture]

This exchange from Arrested Development when Michael is talking about selling the family's yacht:

Michael: "Get rid of The Seaward."

Lucille: "I'll leave when I'm good and ready."

[JuanHamm]

This exchange from Arrested Development when Michael is talking about selling the family's yacht:

Michael: "Get rid of The Seaward."

Lucille: "I'll leave when I'm good and ready."

Yeah, this is fantastic. Arrested development is a goldmine.

[Simple Torture]

On Review, there's an episode where Forrest ends up at a divorce/child custody hearing with his wife and he's dressed as a disheveled Batman, and his wife explodes about how he has the audacity to show up like that, "smelling of his own urine," and Andy Daly has to say in the Christian Bale Batman voice, "It's not my urine."

[doug rr]

"I'll be in the hospital bar."

"Uh, you know there isn't a hospital bar, Mother."

"Well, this is why people hate hospitals."

[Simple Torture]

On the show Delocated, there's a plot where Jon Glaser tries to infiltrate the Russian mob using the same technology as the movie Face/Off. The only problem is that he doesn't speak Russian. So they have this super long training montage that's an over-the-top parody of 1980s action movies, think Rocky IV, so Jon is running marathons, lifting weights, etc., and one thing they keep cutting back to over and over again is him practicing with a Russian dialogue coach, and it's really emphasized how hard he's working. So the day comes when he walks into the Russian social club, and all of the eyes in the room turn to him and it goes silent, and he says (in Russian), "Hey, cool guys, let's speak English!" And then all the scenes with the Russians are then in English.

[Simple Torture]

"I'll be in the hospital bar."

"Uh, you know there isn't a hospital bar, Mother."

"Well, this is why people hate hospitals."

Solid gold.

[Simple Torture]

On The Wire, McNulty and Bunk are on a stakeout and have this exchange:

McNulty: "You know what you call a guy who pays that much attention to his clothes?"

Bunk: "Mhm. A grown-up."

[LetMeSleep]

[bada]

[daft twat]

Isn’t there a Wings thread already?

Helen: I’ve got goosebumps.

Brian: Don’t sell yourself short, Helen, you’re filling out that sweater nicely.



Joe (looking down his shirt): I’ve got some chest hair.

Brian: You’re looking too far down, Joey.

[lennytheweedwhacker]

[warehouse]

Kevin: It's good. It's just that I wish the puppets would talk more about the alphabet. Not for me. But, if any kids are watching... A, B, and so forth. You know, M-N-L-O, P... F...

Dwight Shrute: So much of this is just impossible to verify. Item five point B. Uh, the beet juice cleanse.
Angela: I'm doing it! You know I am, it's disgusting.
Dwight Shrute: How do we know this? I'd like to see a stool sample.

Michael Scott: You don't call retarded people retards. It's bad taste. You call your friends retards when they're acting retarded.

[JuanHamm]

Another Simpsons joke that I think about a lot