RMers with kids

[washing machine]

That's fucked up and my day is now worse for knowing it happened. Why are you trying to rile up the parents thread, Pete?

[Ello Sailor]

Blast her into the sun.

[Bammer]

My kids’ flag football team got absolutely run over by a girl on the other team last weekend. She was legit.

[washing machine]

I was looking around our play area this morning and I suddenly noticed how many hot wheels and matchbox cars we've accumulated. Not quite sure how it happened. We buy some at the grocery store, sure, but I think he's bartering at grandma's house some too.

These cars are pretty cool, I'm not going to lie. The weight of the die cast metal, the colors, the subtle details on the wheels and bodies. Great collectibles. Guess I could start building up a hot wheels track, but my son's pretty content to just roll them down the slide in the backyard.

[LetMeSleep]

You'll get tracks and jumps for birthdays for sure. You just accumulate so much shit from now on.

[spike]

my kid's all about the wooden push along trains atm. the trains go with her in the cot at night.

[bart]

Every time I’m at home while the kids are away, I throw away at least a trash bag full of toys nobody ever plays with anymore. And yet somehow the house is still filled to the brim with more useless shit.

[spike]

you should be donating those bart

[dad]

And yet somehow the house is still filled to the brim with more useless shit.

so much this.

[LetMeSleep]

all those works of art pile up too.

[spike]

i just wait til half the shit gets lost inside/under the sofa, then cull it.

[B]

all those works of art pile up too.

I go thru and scan my favorites and burn the rest.

[tree_]

just switched to whole actual cow malk for my almost one year old. gunna go and save ourselves a damnnn fortune like dis

[Monkey_Driven]

My kids are the only grandkids on both sides, so my wife and I have somehow managed to avoid buying toys for the boys. Yet, our house is still filled with all sorts of shit.

[bart]

you should be donating those bart

I donate them to the local Q shelter for kids rescued from that one pizza place

[spike]

[dad]

last week, my kids went with their mom, step dad and step-siblings to Montana to visit their grandparents. it was a large gathering of all the kids and grandkids since my ex's parents don't get to come to Oklahoma as often since they moved to Montana a couple of years ago. my boys missed an entire week of school, but their mom told me she would arrange it with the school, ensuring the kids could do some work online while they were out, as well as get any copies of things they couldn't do virtually.

naturally, and i say this as a long-time cynic of their mom...none of that happened. and when the boys came back and went to school this week they had a lot of work to make up. and she didn't make them work on anything while they were out or when they came back and had all kinds of free time last weekend. when they came to my house this past Monday, it was once again dropped at my feet to make them do the work, which is no fun because it makes me the bad bad no fun guy, and that's the energy i get to give to them when they're here with me. i know i need to be patient, and this could all pay off one day, but it blows that i'm left holding the bag when it comes to responsibilities.

I'll sit with them and help them with anything they have questions about. it's not like i'm leaving them in the lurch. i tell them that even though they don't want to do it, it's important to do your work before you play. that this is temporary...the schoolwork.

one of the twins had a book report due on Dec 19. he had a book, but he didn't read it. his mom told him he needed to get it done while he was at my house, and she "gave me a heads up" about when it was due. my kid begrudgingly read the book over the course of three days, and we knocked out the report last night.

my oldest (15), who is failing a couple of classes...one of which is f*cking woodshop--jfc--wanted to go to church with some friends last night. he made plans with them before asking me if he could go. he waited until 45 minutes before his friend was set to come to pick him up to even ask me if he could go. I told him he needed to work on school. He went into his room and came out 5 minutes later, trying to pass off an assignment that was given over a month ago...and was WAY PAST DUE...and i told him to work on the things he'd missed while he was out.

I ended up having to turn his friend away at the front door. My son kept pleading with me to go, saying that he would do it all later when he got home. The problem with that is that he came home from school every day this week, and went straight to playing video games...even when i asked him to work on things or what all he had left to do.

i got a text from his mom this morning saying that my oldest asked her to pick him up from school and go home with her. i'm pissed that my kid uses back channel deals with his mom, and then i'm left telling her why he's wanting to go with her. it feels like a loss. losing my kid because i have to be the one to hold him accountable. and losing to his mom, who's being a dirtbag by not holding him accountable.

just bums me out that i have to be resented for trying to do the right thing, and his mom won't take the time to explain to him what the right thing is.

[tree_]

dang dad, dang. Welp, all you can do is what you can do. Just try not to let what you cannot control stress you out. Just keep trying to be the best version of yourself for them, and that's all you can do. Shame they have a mom like that, and that you have to put up with it. Shame. Keep on rockin' in the free world. Was she like this when you got pregant with her kids? Or did she change?

[dad]

thanks, man. i appreciate that, and you're right. i can only sweep my side of the street.

when we were dating there were red flags, and when i was going to break things off was when she told me she was pregnant. i got pressured by her family and mine to "do the right thing." we got married, and I thought having a kid, etc would change things...and it didn't, but we also tried to make a family and the second kid turned into twins it all went downhill from there.

i'm not perfect. i try to set a good example for my kids, even when it's not fun. feels like not teaching them sets them up for failure.

i think i'm constantly hoping to have a reasonable conversation with a reasonable person about raising kids, and i'm constantly let down.

[tree_]

well, dude, i'm here for it if you ever want to PM me or anything. My favorite, preferred philosophy about rearing is you can do any of these three things to affect their lives
1. actively get in their way/fuck them up
2. neutrally just... stay out of their way and let them be who they're going to be
3. teach, direct; be a powerful positive force in their lives (which if you do it wrong, is actually number 1, so gotta be confident you're teaching them the right things the right way)

seems to me like you're doing 3 the right way, the best you can