If I Ruled The World

[JuanHamm]

I don't think my local grocery stores employ a dedicated cart person.

[dad]

You're not thinking ethically. According to Kant's categorical imperative, it would be immoral to return your cart, because if everyone did that, then untold thousands of cart wrangling teenage workers would be put out of a job.

Labor omnia vincit.

[bodysnatcher]

Kant’s an idiot

[lennytheweedwhacker]

I can't wait to see Burt on Cart Narcs someday.

[tragabigzanda]

There is a wolf in me . . . fangs pointed for tearing gashes . . . a red tongue for raw meat . . . and the hot lapping of blood—I keep this wolf because the wilderness gave it to me and the wilderness will not let it go.

There is a fox in me . . . a silver-gray fox . . . I sniff and guess . . . I pick things out of the wind and air . . . I nose in the dark night and take sleepers and eat them and hide the feathers . . . I circle and loop and double-cross.

There is a hog in me . . . a snout and a belly . . . a machinery for eating and grunting . . . a machinery for sleeping satisfied in the sun—I got this too from the wilderness and the wilderness will not let it go.

There is a fish in me . . . I know I came from salt-blue water-gates . . . I scurried with shoals of herring . . . I blew waterspouts with porpoises . . . before land was . . . before the water went down . . . before Noah . . . before the first chapter of Genesis.

There is a baboon in me . . . clambering-clawed . . . dog-faced . . . yawping a galoot's hunger . . . hairy under the armpits . . . here are the hawk-eyed hankering men . . . here are the blonde and blue-eyed women . . . here they hide curled asleep waiting . . . ready to snarl and kill . . . ready to sing and give milk . . . waiting—I keep the baboon because the wilderness says so.

There is an eagle in me and a mockingbird . . . and the eagle flies among the Rocky Mountains of my dreams and fights among the Sierra crags of what I want . . . and the mockingbird warbles in the early forenoon before the dew is gone, warbles in the underbrush of my Chattanoogas of hope, gushes over the blue Ozark foothills of my wishes—And I got the eagle and the mockingbird from the wilderness.

O, I got a zoo, I got a menagerie, inside my ribs, under my bony head, under my red-valve heart—and I got something else: it is a man-child heart, a woman-child heart: it is a father and mother and lover: it came from God-Knows-Where: it is going to God-Knows-Where—For I am the keeper of the zoo: I say yes and no: I sing and kill and work: I am a pal of the world: I came from the wilderness.

[lennytheweedwhacker]

No turn signal punishable by death

It's simply inconsiderate.

[dad]

No turn signal punishable by death

f*ck yeah, instant firing squad.

[Bammer]

I generally agree with Burt on things but this shopping cart thing has me extremely concerned.

[BurtReynolds]

I generally agree with Burt on things but this shopping cart thing has me extremely concerned.

I implore you to think ethically.

[spike]

Is it moral to think ethically?

[Higgs]

* Metric system
* Fahrenheit scale
* 12-hour clock (AM / PM)
* No more daylight savings time adjustments anywhere ever
* MM/DD/YYYY

So you want metric but also farenheit? The fuck is wrong with you?

Water boils at 100 and freezes at 0. Kinda makes sense, no?

Fully agree on the no daylight savings though - that shit can fuck right off.

[bodysnatcher]

Yeah I’d be down for Celsius. Boiling and freezing makes sense. I would just have a little adjustment period to not wear a coat when it’s 45°C

[lennytheweedwhacker]

Yeah I’d be down for Celsius. Boiling and freezing makes sense. I would just have a little adjustment period to not wear a coat when it’s 45°C

Have you ever considered becoming a nudist?

[bodysnatcher]

Yeah I’d be down for Celsius. Boiling and freezing makes sense. I would just have a little adjustment period to not wear a coat when it’s 45°C

Have you ever considered becoming a nudist?

I shower in a swim suit

[lennytheweedwhacker]

Yeah I’d be down for Celsius. Boiling and freezing makes sense. I would just have a little adjustment period to not wear a coat when it’s 45°C

Have you ever considered becoming a nudist?

I shower in a swim suit

That's very strange. It's almost as if you can never be nude.

[Bammer]

* Metric system
* Fahrenheit scale
* 12-hour clock (AM / PM)
* No more daylight savings time adjustments anywhere ever
* MM/DD/YYYY

So you want metric but also farenheit? The fuck is wrong with you?

Water boils at 100 and freezes at 0. Kinda makes sense, no?

Fully agree on the no daylight savings though - that shit can fuck right off.

It’s bad enough that you want me to think of someone who is 6’3” instead as 1.9 but I’m willing to go there.

Asking me to associate it being really hot outside with the thermometer reading 35? Too far.

[BurtReynolds]

Celsius is dumb. How often does boiling water come up?

Fahrenheit is superior. more practical for everyday human experience.
100 degrees = really hot day
0 degrees = really cold day

[Jorge]

Celsius is dumb. How often does boiling water come up?

Fahrenheit is superior. more practical for everyday human experience.
100 degrees = really hot day
0 degrees = really cold day

We've gone through this before and this particular argument is very stupid

[Jorge]

But fine, whatever, people prefer the system they grew up with. What doesn't make any sense to me is the MM/DD/YYYY thing. It should go from smallest unit (day) to largest. Cleaner that way

[Monkey_Driven]

But fine, whatever, people prefer the system they grew up with. What doesn't make any sense to me is the MM/DD/YYYY thing. It should go from smallest unit (day) to largest. Cleaner that way

Month is more relevant to placing the time/space to me, but you're right, it's heavily influenced by what you're familiar with.