spike wrote:Though now that I think about it, me and another buddy might have been felt out to see if we’d attend the destination part, but I was sort of estranged from the guy by then and felt it was a heavy ask under the circumstances. We have a sort of complicated past.
Oh, the “destination wedding” is a hard pass under any circumstances. My sister-in-law had one in the Florida Keys. We had two young kids and made just enough money for one vacation a year. Fuck that. My wife went, of course, but the boys and I stayed behind.
With you there, and I recall it kind of feeling like that was understood. An intentional move to keep it small.
I also skipped his reception because it was out of town on a Friday night and this was pre-Covid peak hour traffic out of Chicago, and I wasn’t going to take time off work to head out early either.
No this was my first marriage that ended in 2012, I got married again a few years later.
This always fascinates me. Did you have a real wedding again? I can’t imagine my marriage ending in divorce and then asking people to come to my next wedding. If I was in a wedding party for a friend whose marriage ended in divorce and he asked me to be in his next one, I’d probably decline. It feels like, barring death, something everyone should only get to make a big deal of one time. Then again, maybe it was your second wife’s first marriage, and she deserves the fairytale like everyone else. I don’t know. I struggle with social anxiety, and I have a hard time thinking of a scenario I’d hate more than a second wedding.
Agreed.
But the woman I am dating now wants to get married by eloping to Vegas. I am down when the time comes.
that first friend that gets married gets all the royal turnout / treatment from the group of friends
then it progressively turns into a death march
if you are a destination wedding, better to be one of those first ones, or the very last (years later) when people are dying for an excuse to dump their young kids on the grandparents and take a 3-day trip away ('i havent been to a wedding in years and this is a special friend')
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We were very young for my first marriage (had barely turned 20), and had the smallest wedding. Some relatives were very slightly upset, but only friendly remarks were made that they should have been invited.
For my second marriage (and my current wife’s first), we wanted a big one. We had invited a large number of people, lots travelling by plane, and had booked hotel rooms. We had catering, musicians, my beautiful childhood neighborhood church, a great place to party, and everything else fixed. But covid ruined it twice, so it ended up being a tiny wedding again.
