The Marvels

[E.H. Ruddock]

Hey Burt, who do you think the target audience is for a movie like Minions?

[tommy]

Is this movie targeted to men or women? We may never know. It's one of life's enduring mysteries. Certainly no movie makers ever think about these things when making the movies. To assume one way or the other would be sexist though, so we certainly wouldn't want to guess.

I hate when the names don't line up with the actors

[BurtReynolds]

I'm surrounded by fucking idiots. I guess this is a movie targeted towards boys.

The animated version? It is targeted towards kids. So was Moana (my nephew's favorite movie when he was a kid), etc.

JFC Burt.

Lol omg u are out of your goddamn mind.

Dude, kids love animated movies. It doesn't matter what gender the main character is. They just love cartoons. Kind of funny that you think boys wouldn't like Little Mermaid, Moana, Frozen, or whatever.

Yes and? Do you think when I say they have certain target audience in mind for a movie, I mean that no one outside that audience could possibly like those movies?

[BurtReynolds]

Hey Burt, who do you think the target audience is for a movie like Minions?

Kids in general, but I've never seen those movies.

[E.H. Ruddock]

Hey Burt, who do you think the target audience is for a movie like Minions?

Kids in general, but I've never seen those movies.

So why would Little Mermaid be different? It is all animated cartoon fun and shenanigans!

[Jorge]

There is at least more in the text of The Little Mermaid to support the notion that it's made for young girls than there is for The Marvels. The scene with the singing planet (which is annoying, for the record) comes off like a Joss Whedon joke more than anything

[BurtReynolds]

When I say that The Marvels is targeted towards women, do you think I mean that they made an anti-male movie? I mean, I could understand that since they often seem to do that, but as I said earlier, it doesn't appear they did that here.

[spike]

Hahahaha I knew Burt would resort to Steel Magnolias in eventual desperation.

He is slain!

[BurtReynolds]

I'm trying to watch a film here!

[tommy]

What were the previews? That should give us some insight into who the film is marketed to.

[B]

There is at least more in the text of The Little Mermaid to support the notion that it's made for young girls than there is for The Marvels. The scene with the singing planet (which is annoying, for the record) comes off like a Joss Whedon joke more than anything

I am widely mocked for being the only member of my family that likes The Little Mermaid. My household includes an adult woman and an 11yo girl.

[BurtReynolds]

I'm watching a princess and beautiful kpop prince sing and dance in a castle. Clearly this is targeted to everyone.

[BurtReynolds]

Even as an ironic joke, it has a certain audience in mind.

[BurtReynolds]

Why are some of the bad guys blue?

[Jorge]

Blue = opposite of pink = boy color = antagonists

[BurtReynolds]

Does she have a magic scarf or something? I don't understand. I didn't do the homework.

[BurtReynolds]

The cat thing is the most forced joke in history, but at this point we're in catastrophe territory, so it's a great addition.

[BurtReynolds]

I have no words... They actually released this?

[epilogue]

The Marvels is great, confirmed!

[BurtReynolds]

What I liked:

Spoiler: show

- I thought the three leads were fine. They had nothing to work with, but I thought the bit with them bonding on the ship was cute (and girl-coded). After that, they had nothing to do but spout inane exposition and punch the air.

- Like everyone else is saying, the young one was the highlight. It would have been nice if she had some arc or something, but whatevs. Even her family wasn't as annoying as I was expecting.

- People said the Ramboauex girl was just a walking Mcguffin, but I felt like she had as much to do as the other two (which wasn't much).

- Even Larson shows some personality here, but this character is just concentrated nothing. Hopefully she'll go back to making real movies. Also, damn, she's hot.

- The cats were terrible, but the movie is such a bizarre mishmash that they fit. Once they show up, you can completely dispense with caring about anything that happens. This isn't a story, it's just a collection of images.

some of the bad:

Spoiler: show

- What are their powers again? It seems to be whatever the writers need them to be. Complete nonsense. This movie is just complete nonsense.

- They make the galaxy seem so small. There is no scale here. They go across the galaxy so quickly that they may as well be on earth.

- The sets are so empty and cheap! Like a lazer tag arena. The CG is terrible. Where did the money go?

- I can't believe someone greenlit this script.

There is so much more, but I'm gonna have to let the rest go I think.

My first impression was that it was far worse than Thor 4, but the more I think about it, they are neck and neck for worst. At least Christian Bale's bad guy was kinda cool.