malice wrote:I can't even tell what point fuzzy_dunlop is trying to make, honestly
I totally get why you think it sucks women should have to even think about ways to avoid getting raped, who doesn't? It pisses me off too, I have a daughter who will be going off to college in a few years. I don't want her living in fear that some asshole is going to rape her, that's total bullshit. I also think it sucks I have to worry about my kids getting kidnapped and that I can't let them walk to school.
Why is it Ok in one case to suggest we take precautions against predators and not the other? No one is offended if we teach our kids not to talk to strangers, no one would suggest that's a case of blaming the victim. No one would fault me for driving my kids to school or educating on them on ways to protect themselves.
In a perfect world neither child molestors or rapists would exist, but it's not a perfect world. Knowing its not a perfect world, why not take a pragmatic approach and do what we can to avoid bad situations?
This is not to suggest we can't burn the candle at both ends either. We don't have to throw up our arms and say boys will be boys there is nothing we can do about it. I'm all for doing whatever it takes so women don't have to worry about getting raped. Why does it have to be one approach or the other, why not both at the same time?
I don't disagree, and it's not my intention to try to argue otherwise.
I am, however, trying to make my own point about how our culture has essentially allowed this kind of behavior towards women forever, and as a result, makes what I think of as rather hallf-assed attempts of rectifying that view now by the type of thing being discussed in that article - I don't think it's a 'bad' idea. I think it's an idea that is too little, too late, and ultimately, still not a valid treatment of women within the society because it still places the burden of responsibility of women to mind their manners be more socially competent than men, so still gives something of a 'pass' to guys for believing it's ok (even though I understand not all men are like this, and not all men will instantly try to take advantage of a woman who is drunk etc- I'm more interested in the broader aspects here though).
It's also the reason I posted that other article - which is from a site that deals with issues of the modern male, and I ahve actually found very interesting - It's by and for men who are interested in breaking down the socially accepted stereotypes of 'being a man' and redefining what that really means in the 21st century.
A lot of the fall out of the woman's movement is related to how men must now try to deal with what their roles are in the society so I think it's a good site, and a good article, which happened to touch upon the idea that part of the problem is that we don't approach sex in a healthy fashion, so it's easier to overlook or sometimes encourage young men 'behaving badly'
I don't think it's the only way to handle our larger issues with abuse and rape, I think it's only a piece of the much bigger puzzle to understanding how men and women can get along with each other, respect each other and enjoy each other physically without shame or intimidation or pre-set rules for dominance and submission.
that's all.
I gotcha, admittedly I have a narrow view. I tend to think in terms of what is best for my own kids and what should I be teaching them, not so much the big picture. I’m glad we were able to talk this out, *high fives*
I don't think it's narrow-minded at all - it's fine to be concerned with your own family etc- if I had children I'm sure I'd be the same. I mostly didn't want you to think I was trying to paint men into a corner with their behavior at all - it's just how the world is, and whatever we can do, we should do to try to make it better.
I appreciate what you had to say.
Dev wrote:you're delusional. you are a sad sad person. fuck off. you're mentally ill beyond repair. i don't need your shit. dissapear.
If I'm out with a group of friends and I see one of the females (sober) being the aggressor and hooking up with an obviously drunk guy, should I put an end to it?
Think I’m going to try being kind to everyone a chance.
surfndestroy wrote:If I'm out with a group of friends and I see one of the females (sober) being the aggressor and hooking up with an obviously drunk guy, should I put an end to it?
if he's under duress and appears to not want to be picked up by a woman, then yeah
Dev wrote:you're delusional. you are a sad sad person. fuck off. you're mentally ill beyond repair. i don't need your shit. dissapear.
surfndestroy wrote:If I'm out with a group of friends and I see one of the females (sober) being the aggressor and hooking up with an obviously drunk guy, should I put an end to it?
if he's under duress and appears to not want to be picked up by a woman, then yeah
Hang on. I think it's a trick question...
Strat wrote:I trust no one who thinks parachutes is a terrible song.
I'm not seeing how that question is even a jab at the ideas being talked about here - it's pretty simple, honestly - if you feel there's more to shit on though, I'd love to know what you're getting at.
Dev wrote:you're delusional. you are a sad sad person. fuck off. you're mentally ill beyond repair. i don't need your shit. dissapear.
surfndestroy wrote:If I'm out with a group of friends and I see one of the females (sober) being the aggressor and hooking up with an obviously drunk guy, should I put an end to it?
if he's under duress and appears to not want to be picked up by a woman, then yeah
Hang on. I think it's a trick question...
ya think?
look, he's on some kick about how women are over-privileged to begin with and tries to argue it in every thread. it's just kind of tiresome. wish he'd just come out and say- women pretty much suck except for when they're sucking my dick.
at least then he'd be honest and open instead of this kind of passive aggressive tripe he posts.
Dev wrote:you're delusional. you are a sad sad person. fuck off. you're mentally ill beyond repair. i don't need your shit. dissapear.
surfndestroy wrote:If I'm out with a group of friends and I see one of the females (sober) being the aggressor and hooking up with an obviously drunk guy, should I put an end to it?
if he's under duress and appears to not want to be picked up by a woman, then yeah
Hang on. I think it's a trick question...
ya think?
look, he's on some kick about how women are over-privileged to begin with and tries to argue it in every thread. it's just kind of tiresome. wish he'd just come out and say- women pretty much suck except for when they're sucking my dick.
at least then he'd be honest and open instead of this kind of passive aggressive tripe he posts.
Ah.
Strat wrote:I trust no one who thinks parachutes is a terrible song.
RisingTides wrote:There is more kindness on the internet than we would care to admit to ourselves. Sometimes we are so afraid of falling victim to a ruse, we miss out on actual opportunities.
stip wrote:One of my best students (hetero male) was at a gay bar with a friend (gay) for that friend's birthday. While he was there an older man slipped some date rape drug into my student's drink. The rest of the night the guy kept trying to get my student to go home with him, attempted to take advantage of his impaired judgement, and essentially stalked him in an 'I'm just trying to help' way. My student felt extremely self-conscious the entire night, was hyper aware of how he had to be careful of every signal he was sending, was worried about being left alone with this guy, and, the next week in class, wondered if this is how women feel all the time.
5 weeks ago I spoke to a friend of a friend who lost his job after bedding the bosses daughter who decided to, in the cold light of day, change her story to rape. It wasn't rape. But hey, walk of shame and all that. He just fucked her. She admitted he hadn't raped her, but the damage had been done at his place of employment. He decided to not dispute his "redundancy".
/anecdotal bullshit that should be kept the fuck out of this thread.
Self wrote:Every time I get to be a bachelor, I order Chinese. Twice a year, I gorge on broccoli 'n beef and crab rangoons. The guilt reminds me of masturbation. So does the rice.
This thread isn't about you. Fuck, sorry. This thread is as equally yours as it is mine. Nearly sexist.. *wince*
Self wrote:Every time I get to be a bachelor, I order Chinese. Twice a year, I gorge on broccoli 'n beef and crab rangoons. The guilt reminds me of masturbation. So does the rice.
Yes!
