The Divorce Thread

[Alex]

I got divorced right before all the COVID closures in 2020. Was mostly amicable in the end, but was very contentious to start. There were some long standing issues that eroded the trust, foundation, and love in that relationship. Long story short, he deeply resented me for having a successful career and also spending a significant amount of time caring for my ill father. Fortunately, it wasn't too bad since we didn't have kids, but I had to buy him out of his contribution to the house and give him half my 401k. Thank god he didn't ask for alimony since I make 3x what he was making, so all in all I didn't fare too poorly in that respect. Regardless, it was the best decision I ever made and have been immensely happier since the divorce. 10/10 would recommend if you're not happy with your current situation and serious attempts to work through whatever issues you have have been unsuccessful.

Now, about to get remarried (next month, actually), and like many have said, doing a VERY small, intimate ceremony, mostly for his parents since it's his first wedding and I wanted an excuse to get all prettied up. Still keeping my maiden name though, cause F that nonsense in changing everything again.

This is remarkably similar to my situation. An as-amicable-as-possible divorce after an unfixable marriage, no kids. I and my ex-wife both benefitted in many ways, emotionally and financially, from the divorce. The process itself was agonizing, but having it in the rear-view mirror is such a blessing. A lot of clarity came into my life after that process. Renewed purpose and invigoration.

My new “partner” (E.H. Ruddock’s terminology) and I are likely looking at doing a small ceremony when that time comes.

can i come?

We already have a Strat.

All RMers are invited except Lenny.

[Jorge]

I got divorced right before all the COVID closures in 2020. Was mostly amicable in the end, but was very contentious to start. There were some long standing issues that eroded the trust, foundation, and love in that relationship. Long story short, he deeply resented me for having a successful career and also spending a significant amount of time caring for my ill father. Fortunately, it wasn't too bad since we didn't have kids, but I had to buy him out of his contribution to the house and give him half my 401k. Thank god he didn't ask for alimony since I make 3x what he was making, so all in all I didn't fare too poorly in that respect. Regardless, it was the best decision I ever made and have been immensely happier since the divorce. 10/10 would recommend if you're not happy with your current situation and serious attempts to work through whatever issues you have have been unsuccessful.

Now, about to get remarried (next month, actually), and like many have said, doing a VERY small, intimate ceremony, mostly for his parents since it's his first wedding and I wanted an excuse to get all prettied up. Still keeping my maiden name though, cause F that nonsense in changing everything again.

This is remarkably similar to my situation. An as-amicable-as-possible divorce after an unfixable marriage, no kids. I and my ex-wife both benefitted in many ways, emotionally and financially, from the divorce. The process itself was agonizing, but having it in the rear-view mirror is such a blessing. A lot of clarity came into my life after that process. Renewed purpose and invigoration.

My new “partner” (E.H. Ruddock’s terminology) and I are likely looking at doing a small ceremony when that time comes.

I expect an invitation from both of you

[spike]

I got divorced right before all the COVID closures in 2020. Was mostly amicable in the end, but was very contentious to start. There were some long standing issues that eroded the trust, foundation, and love in that relationship. Long story short, he deeply resented me for having a successful career and also spending a significant amount of time caring for my ill father. Fortunately, it wasn't too bad since we didn't have kids, but I had to buy him out of his contribution to the house and give him half my 401k. Thank god he didn't ask for alimony since I make 3x what he was making, so all in all I didn't fare too poorly in that respect. Regardless, it was the best decision I ever made and have been immensely happier since the divorce. 10/10 would recommend if you're not happy with your current situation and serious attempts to work through whatever issues you have have been unsuccessful.

Now, about to get remarried (next month, actually), and like many have said, doing a VERY small, intimate ceremony, mostly for his parents since it's his first wedding and I wanted an excuse to get all prettied up. Still keeping my maiden name though, cause F that nonsense in changing everything again.

This is remarkably similar to my situation. An as-amicable-as-possible divorce after an unfixable marriage, no kids. I and my ex-wife both benefitted in many ways, emotionally and financially, from the divorce. The process itself was agonizing, but having it in the rear-view mirror is such a blessing. A lot of clarity came into my life after that process. Renewed purpose and invigoration.

My new “partner” (E.H. Ruddock’s terminology) and I are likely looking at doing a small ceremony when that time comes.

I expect an invitation from both of you

Not enough. You should serve as celebrant.

[smileinmytree]

I got divorced right before all the COVID closures in 2020. Was mostly amicable in the end, but was very contentious to start. There were some long standing issues that eroded the trust, foundation, and love in that relationship. Long story short, he deeply resented me for having a successful career and also spending a significant amount of time caring for my ill father. Fortunately, it wasn't too bad since we didn't have kids, but I had to buy him out of his contribution to the house and give him half my 401k. Thank god he didn't ask for alimony since I make 3x what he was making, so all in all I didn't fare too poorly in that respect. Regardless, it was the best decision I ever made and have been immensely happier since the divorce. 10/10 would recommend if you're not happy with your current situation and serious attempts to work through whatever issues you have have been unsuccessful.

Now, about to get remarried (next month, actually), and like many have said, doing a VERY small, intimate ceremony, mostly for his parents since it's his first wedding and I wanted an excuse to get all prettied up. Still keeping my maiden name though, cause F that nonsense in changing everything again.

This is remarkably similar to my situation. An as-amicable-as-possible divorce after an unfixable marriage, no kids. I and my ex-wife both benefitted in many ways, emotionally and financially, from the divorce. The process itself was agonizing, but having it in the rear-view mirror is such a blessing. A lot of clarity came into my life after that process. Renewed purpose and invigoration.

My new “partner” (E.H. Ruddock’s terminology) and I are likely looking at doing a small ceremony when that time comes.

I expect an invitation from both of you

Not enough. You should serve as celebrant.

Maybe he can officiate for me. Are you ordained in Arizona?

[doug rr]

did you choose Arizona as a place to live? were you born there? it sucks, doesn't it?

[smileinmytree]

I got divorced right before all the COVID closures in 2020. Was mostly amicable in the end, but was very contentious to start. There were some long standing issues that eroded the trust, foundation, and love in that relationship. Long story short, he deeply resented me for having a successful career and also spending a significant amount of time caring for my ill father. Fortunately, it wasn't too bad since we didn't have kids, but I had to buy him out of his contribution to the house and give him half my 401k. Thank god he didn't ask for alimony since I make 3x what he was making, so all in all I didn't fare too poorly in that respect. Regardless, it was the best decision I ever made and have been immensely happier since the divorce. 10/10 would recommend if you're not happy with your current situation and serious attempts to work through whatever issues you have have been unsuccessful.

Now, about to get remarried (next month, actually), and like many have said, doing a VERY small, intimate ceremony, mostly for his parents since it's his first wedding and I wanted an excuse to get all prettied up. Still keeping my maiden name though, cause F that nonsense in changing everything again.

This is remarkably similar to my situation. An as-amicable-as-possible divorce after an unfixable marriage, no kids. I and my ex-wife both benefitted in many ways, emotionally and financially, from the divorce. The process itself was agonizing, but having it in the rear-view mirror is such a blessing. A lot of clarity came into my life after that process. Renewed purpose and invigoration.

My new “partner” (E.H. Ruddock’s terminology) and I are likely looking at doing a small ceremony when that time comes.

For sure. Divorce is obviously not something anyone ever really plans or hopes for, but when it's necessary it can be a very positive thing. I definitely had to relearn who I was and discovered I was not happy with who I became in that relationship. Feeling back to my old self now with some minor improvements and am better off post-divorce. I hope he has been able to see the silver lining in the situation and grow as a person, Though I'm not so sure about that, I think he took it really hard once he realized it was real. In fact, last I heard his parents moved here to Arizona (in spite of their adamant and vehement objection to their baby boy leaving the proximity of their nest - one major example of a serious fault in our marriage) and he's living with them. He was never really good with change, as you can imagine.

Good luck with your your potential future wedding. One great thing about COVID is it really normalized the "micro wedding" market and there's way more options and less side-eye when putting together something small.

[smileinmytree]

did you choose Arizona as a place to live? were you born there? it sucks, doesn't it?

I was born in Panama, but spent most of my adult life living in Seattle (I know, why would a Pearl Jam fan choose to move away from Seattle, right?).

I moved here for work, and it wasn't exactly my first choice, but it has really grown on me and turned out to be a fantastic career opportunity. I actually love the heat and the sunshine. Aside from all the weirdo alt-right crazies, it's a beautiful state with lots of great parks and scenic hiking areas.

[doug rr]

I live in Seattle as well..I haven't really listened to anything since yield...

[wease]

did you choose Arizona as a place to live? were you born there? it sucks, doesn't it?

I was born in Panama, but spent most of my adult life living in Seattle (I know, why would a Pearl Jam fan choose to move away from Seattle, right?).

I moved here for work, and it wasn't exactly my first choice, but it has really grown on me and turned out to be a fantastic career opportunity. I actually love the heat and the sunshine. Aside from all the weirdo alt-right crazies*, it's a beautiful state with lots of great parks and scenic hiking areas.

*bammer