Buttholes you love but are happy to never stare into again..

[Ello Sailor]

Lenny, the way you winked at me just felt... off. Just friends?

[Jorge]

About a decade ago I dated this girl who was an absolute smokeshow in every way but her bung was a wreck. She had a pretty bad case of hemrrhoids. Turns out it's genetic? I didn't know. But she told me her entire family had it, including her father and siblings. It was never a big deal, we never really ventured into that area. But I would see it. It would stare up at me in certain positions. I caught up with her a couple years ago and one of her big life updates was that she finally got surgery to get rid of the problem permanently. I was happy for her

[wease]

About a decade ago I dated this girl who was an absolute smokeshow in every way but her bung was a wreck. She had a pretty bad case of hemrrhoids. Turns out it's genetic? I didn't know. But she told me her entire family had it, including her father and siblings. It was never a big deal, we never really ventured into that area. But I would see it. It would stare up at me in certain positions. I caught up with her a couple years ago and one of her big life updates was that she finally got surgery to get rid of the problem permanently. I was happy for her

Did you ever flick it while it dangled?

[spike]

JFC

[tragabigzanda]

There is a wolf in me . . . fangs pointed for tearing gashes . . . a red tongue for raw meat . . . and the hot lapping of blood—I keep this wolf because the wilderness gave it to me and the wilderness will not let it go.

There is a fox in me . . . a silver-gray fox . . . I sniff and guess . . . I pick things out of the wind and air . . . I nose in the dark night and take sleepers and eat them and hide the feathers . . . I circle and loop and double-cross.

There is a hog in me . . . a snout and a belly . . . a machinery for eating and grunting . . . a machinery for sleeping satisfied in the sun—I got this too from the wilderness and the wilderness will not let it go.

There is a fish in me . . . I know I came from salt-blue water-gates . . . I scurried with shoals of herring . . . I blew waterspouts with porpoises . . . before land was . . . before the water went down . . . before Noah . . . before the first chapter of Genesis.

There is a baboon in me . . . clambering-clawed . . . dog-faced . . . yawping a galoot's hunger . . . hairy under the armpits . . . here are the hawk-eyed hankering men . . . here are the blonde and blue-eyed women . . . here they hide curled asleep waiting . . . ready to snarl and kill . . . ready to sing and give milk . . . waiting—I keep the baboon because the wilderness says so.

There is an eagle in me and a mockingbird . . . and the eagle flies among the Rocky Mountains of my dreams and fights among the Sierra crags of what I want . . . and the mockingbird warbles in the early forenoon before the dew is gone, warbles in the underbrush of my Chattanoogas of hope, gushes over the blue Ozark foothills of my wishes—And I got the eagle and the mockingbird from the wilderness.

O, I got a zoo, I got a menagerie, inside my ribs, under my bony head, under my red-valve heart—and I got something else: it is a man-child heart, a woman-child heart: it is a father and mother and lover: it came from God-Knows-Where: it is going to God-Knows-Where—For I am the keeper of the zoo: I say yes and no: I sing and kill and work: I am a pal of the world: I came from the wilderness.

[bodysnatcher]

Once this stripper showed me her butthole unsolicited and then she sat next to me on the bus the very next day. Awkward.

man that just triggered a memory. a group of us were at a strip club years ago, and you could order dinner and eat at the rack. i know. anyway, for some reason my dumbass friend ordered fish. right as he was taking his first bite a stripper bent down and rubbed her butthole like 12 inches from his face. his look was absolutely priceless.

[E.H. Ruddock]

Once this stripper showed me her butthole unsolicited and then she sat next to me on the bus the very next day. Awkward.

man that just triggered a memory. a group of us were at a strip club years ago, and you could order dinner and eat at the rack. i know. anyway, for some reason my dumbass friend ordered fish. right as he was taking his first bite a stripper bent down and rubbed her butthole like 12 inches from his face. his look was absolutely priceless.

Please tell me this was at the A-crop in Portland?

[spike]

Haha “the rack.” Snatch knows strip clubs.

[Ello Sailor]

Once this stripper showed me her butthole unsolicited and then she sat next to me on the bus the very next day. Awkward.

I cackled like an unhinged maniac at this.

Rimmers are grinners, I guess.

[96583UP]

good thing i opened this thread while eating

[Ello Sailor]

Numbers draws the line at Jorge's AI girlfriend's haemorrhoids. Good to know.

[bodysnatcher]

Once this stripper showed me her butthole unsolicited and then she sat next to me on the bus the very next day. Awkward.

man that just triggered a memory. a group of us were at a strip club years ago, and you could order dinner and eat at the rack. i know. anyway, for some reason my dumbass friend ordered fish. right as he was taking his first bite a stripper bent down and rubbed her butthole like 12 inches from his face. his look was absolutely priceless.

Please tell me this was at the A-crop in Portland?

you bet

[doug rr]

good stuff..my first and only trip to a strip club was the day I turned 18 in boulder,co. my friends took me a place called pecos junction which was fully nude so they couldn't sell alcohol back then..you had to spend $5 for a soda or Oj..anyway, this stripper was sticking her butthole in all of our faces to see and they all smelled like vanilla..I was wearing my glasses that night instead of my contacts..she took my glasses off of my face and rubbed her nipples all over them and left smudges

[Ello Sailor]

this stripper was sticking her butthole in all of our faces

[Ello Sailor]

HAHAHAHA

[bodysnatcher]

good stuff..my first and only trip to a strip club was the day I turned 18 in boulder,co. my friends took me a place called pecos junction which was fully nude so they couldn't sell alcohol back then..you had to spend $5 for a soda or Oj

seattle is like that. or historically was, i think they just recently passed a bill to allow it. fyi.

[Jorge]

About a decade ago I dated this girl who was an absolute smokeshow in every way but her bung was a wreck. She had a pretty bad case of hemrrhoids. Turns out it's genetic? I didn't know. But she told me her entire family had it, including her father and siblings. It was never a big deal, we never really ventured into that area. But I would see it. It would stare up at me in certain positions. I caught up with her a couple years ago and one of her big life updates was that she finally got surgery to get rid of the problem permanently. I was happy for her

Did you ever flick it while it dangled?

No, man

[bodysnatcher]

About a decade ago I dated this girl who was an absolute smokeshow in every way but her bung was a wreck. She had a pretty bad case of hemrrhoids. Turns out it's genetic? I didn't know. But she told me her entire family had it, including her father and siblings. It was never a big deal, we never really ventured into that area. But I would see it. It would stare up at me in certain positions. I caught up with her a couple years ago and one of her big life updates was that she finally got surgery to get rid of the problem permanently. I was happy for her

Did you ever flick it while it dangled?

No, man

did you name it?

[doug rr]

About a decade ago I dated this girl who was an absolute smokeshow in every way but her bung was a wreck. She had a pretty bad case of hemrrhoids. Turns out it's genetic? I didn't know. But she told me her entire family had it, including her father and siblings. It was never a big deal, we never really ventured into that area. But I would see it. It would stare up at me in certain positions. I caught up with her a couple years ago and one of her big life updates was that she finally got surgery to get rid of the problem permanently. I was happy for her

Did you ever flick it while it dangled?

No, man

did you name it?

I would have named it Hans Moleman

[Jorge]

It's like kissing a peanut