The Dating Thread

[tragabigzanda]

There is a wolf in me . . . fangs pointed for tearing gashes . . . a red tongue for raw meat . . . and the hot lapping of blood—I keep this wolf because the wilderness gave it to me and the wilderness will not let it go.

There is a fox in me . . . a silver-gray fox . . . I sniff and guess . . . I pick things out of the wind and air . . . I nose in the dark night and take sleepers and eat them and hide the feathers . . . I circle and loop and double-cross.

There is a hog in me . . . a snout and a belly . . . a machinery for eating and grunting . . . a machinery for sleeping satisfied in the sun—I got this too from the wilderness and the wilderness will not let it go.

There is a fish in me . . . I know I came from salt-blue water-gates . . . I scurried with shoals of herring . . . I blew waterspouts with porpoises . . . before land was . . . before the water went down . . . before Noah . . . before the first chapter of Genesis.

There is a baboon in me . . . clambering-clawed . . . dog-faced . . . yawping a galoot's hunger . . . hairy under the armpits . . . here are the hawk-eyed hankering men . . . here are the blonde and blue-eyed women . . . here they hide curled asleep waiting . . . ready to snarl and kill . . . ready to sing and give milk . . . waiting—I keep the baboon because the wilderness says so.

There is an eagle in me and a mockingbird . . . and the eagle flies among the Rocky Mountains of my dreams and fights among the Sierra crags of what I want . . . and the mockingbird warbles in the early forenoon before the dew is gone, warbles in the underbrush of my Chattanoogas of hope, gushes over the blue Ozark foothills of my wishes—And I got the eagle and the mockingbird from the wilderness.

O, I got a zoo, I got a menagerie, inside my ribs, under my bony head, under my red-valve heart—and I got something else: it is a man-child heart, a woman-child heart: it is a father and mother and lover: it came from God-Knows-Where: it is going to God-Knows-Where—For I am the keeper of the zoo: I say yes and no: I sing and kill and work: I am a pal of the world: I came from the wilderness.

[Jorge]

You do kind of look like Tobey

[The Argonaut]

Do you think Tobey Maguire and Sasha Grey would make a cute couple?

[Jorge]

No but the Five Below version of them might

[The Argonaut]

wow, insulting my girl. I'm gonna fight you

[spike]

I tagged along with my friend on a day trip to Boston on Saturday. He had to pick a cousin up at the airport and drop him off at a shuttle to a school camp or something. So we did some stuff in the morning and then he left me in the city for three hours in the afternoon while he took care of that. I spent most of that time just sitting in the park looking at the people go by. It just so happened that a stranger whom I smiled at stopped walking and told me that I kind of look like Tobey Maguire. I've gotten this before.

When I told the woman I've been dating about this incident, she told me that the celebrity people have often told her she looks like is Sasha Grey. And now you guys bring up Sasha Grey in the dating thread.

Do you guys have me bugged, what the fuck?

Did you guys watch the Nathan’s Famous hot dog eating contest together?

[The Argonaut]

No. She's a vegetarian. Not a vegan, but still pretty ok

[spike]

definitely not sasha grey then

[Ello Sailor]

You made a huge mistake with the Sasha Grey thing, Argo. A sucker for punishment through and through.

[The Argonaut]

what a world what a world

[lennytheweedwhacker]

What tv shows does she enjoy?

[The Argonaut]

I think she tends to watch twitch streams? I don't know, these young people are weird

[lennytheweedwhacker]

Oh so she is 18?

[The Argonaut]

She is 30! That's young to me, an old man born in the 1980s

[Ello Sailor]

Last week she was 21. This mfer is trolling us.

[The Argonaut]

I never said that, you liar

[Ello Sailor]

19? You said some bullshit and cannot be trusted.

[The Argonaut]

that was a joke, silly boy

[lennytheweedwhacker]

Describe her mouth

[Ello Sailor]

that was a joke, silly boy

So now I'm some kind of asshole for thinking you capable of grooming? This is unbelievable.