The New & Unproved Work/Job/Career Thread

[wease]

I need a new fucking job, this is terrible

I ran into the woman I dated between ages 18 to 26 a few months ago. She's like the assistant director of whatever the fuck office now and said she wanted to use that power to give people she knows jobs. Instead of the bums they hire now because they happen to know the right people. She apparently wants to hire the bums she knows.

Should I text her and ask her to give me a job? Bear in mind she is married now and I am probably still in love with her

i guess the real question is...how much of a bum are you?

And is it an upgrade from what you’re doing now?

[Ello Sailor]

Are you going to put it in your married ex's bum, is the real question.

[The Argonaut]

I need a new fucking job, this is terrible

I ran into the woman I dated between ages 18 to 26 a few months ago. She's like the assistant director of whatever the fuck office now and said she wanted to use that power to give people she knows jobs. Instead of the bums they hire now because they happen to know the right people. She apparently wants to hire the bums she knows.

Should I text her and ask her to give me a job? Bear in mind she is married now and I am probably still in love with her

i guess the real question is...how much of a bum are you?

And is it an upgrade from what you’re doing now?

I don't even know where she works or what kind of jobs she's giving away to friends and former lovers

[wease]

I need a new fucking job, this is terrible

I ran into the woman I dated between ages 18 to 26 a few months ago. She's like the assistant director of whatever the fuck office now and said she wanted to use that power to give people she knows jobs. Instead of the bums they hire now because they happen to know the right people. She apparently wants to hire the bums she knows.

Should I text her and ask her to give me a job? Bear in mind she is married now and I am probably still in love with her

i guess the real question is...how much of a bum are you?

And is it an upgrade from what you’re doing now?

I don't even know where she works or what kind of jobs she's giving away to friends and former lovers

I say go for it

[spike]

What could go wrong?

[BurtReynolds]

you don't want to work for a former lover.

[spike]

you don't want to work for a former lover.

Is this why you change jobs/cities so frequently?

[Jorge]

Call her and ask about it. If it sounds good, do it. Leveraging connections is a legit life skill, don't let anyone tell you otherwise

[bart]

look up her linkedin before you do anything else

[tragabigzanda]

There is a wolf in me . . . fangs pointed for tearing gashes . . . a red tongue for raw meat . . . and the hot lapping of blood—I keep this wolf because the wilderness gave it to me and the wilderness will not let it go.

There is a fox in me . . . a silver-gray fox . . . I sniff and guess . . . I pick things out of the wind and air . . . I nose in the dark night and take sleepers and eat them and hide the feathers . . . I circle and loop and double-cross.

There is a hog in me . . . a snout and a belly . . . a machinery for eating and grunting . . . a machinery for sleeping satisfied in the sun—I got this too from the wilderness and the wilderness will not let it go.

There is a fish in me . . . I know I came from salt-blue water-gates . . . I scurried with shoals of herring . . . I blew waterspouts with porpoises . . . before land was . . . before the water went down . . . before Noah . . . before the first chapter of Genesis.

There is a baboon in me . . . clambering-clawed . . . dog-faced . . . yawping a galoot's hunger . . . hairy under the armpits . . . here are the hawk-eyed hankering men . . . here are the blonde and blue-eyed women . . . here they hide curled asleep waiting . . . ready to snarl and kill . . . ready to sing and give milk . . . waiting—I keep the baboon because the wilderness says so.

There is an eagle in me and a mockingbird . . . and the eagle flies among the Rocky Mountains of my dreams and fights among the Sierra crags of what I want . . . and the mockingbird warbles in the early forenoon before the dew is gone, warbles in the underbrush of my Chattanoogas of hope, gushes over the blue Ozark foothills of my wishes—And I got the eagle and the mockingbird from the wilderness.

O, I got a zoo, I got a menagerie, inside my ribs, under my bony head, under my red-valve heart—and I got something else: it is a man-child heart, a woman-child heart: it is a father and mother and lover: it came from God-Knows-Where: it is going to God-Knows-Where—For I am the keeper of the zoo: I say yes and no: I sing and kill and work: I am a pal of the world: I came from the wilderness.

[dad]

look her up in the local/state court system to see if she has any judgments against her.

[bart]

look her up in the sex offender database to see if you still have a chance

[wease]

Look her up on Pornhub to see if she’s posted any of the videos you made together

[The Argonaut]

I'm not gonna call her. If I ever run into her again, I'll bring it up in a lighthearted and humorous way. Last time I ran into her by accident was sometime in 2021, so it may happen again around 2027 or so

[The Argonaut]

Also when I ran into her a few months ago we chatted for like ten or fifteen minutes, and she said it was like the end of La La Land. Which I thought was a fucked up thing to say and I'm honestly still kind of mad at her about

[Jorge]

That is hilarious

Why is your current job so terrible?

[tragabigzanda]

There is a wolf in me . . . fangs pointed for tearing gashes . . . a red tongue for raw meat . . . and the hot lapping of blood—I keep this wolf because the wilderness gave it to me and the wilderness will not let it go.

There is a fox in me . . . a silver-gray fox . . . I sniff and guess . . . I pick things out of the wind and air . . . I nose in the dark night and take sleepers and eat them and hide the feathers . . . I circle and loop and double-cross.

There is a hog in me . . . a snout and a belly . . . a machinery for eating and grunting . . . a machinery for sleeping satisfied in the sun—I got this too from the wilderness and the wilderness will not let it go.

There is a fish in me . . . I know I came from salt-blue water-gates . . . I scurried with shoals of herring . . . I blew waterspouts with porpoises . . . before land was . . . before the water went down . . . before Noah . . . before the first chapter of Genesis.

There is a baboon in me . . . clambering-clawed . . . dog-faced . . . yawping a galoot's hunger . . . hairy under the armpits . . . here are the hawk-eyed hankering men . . . here are the blonde and blue-eyed women . . . here they hide curled asleep waiting . . . ready to snarl and kill . . . ready to sing and give milk . . . waiting—I keep the baboon because the wilderness says so.

There is an eagle in me and a mockingbird . . . and the eagle flies among the Rocky Mountains of my dreams and fights among the Sierra crags of what I want . . . and the mockingbird warbles in the early forenoon before the dew is gone, warbles in the underbrush of my Chattanoogas of hope, gushes over the blue Ozark foothills of my wishes—And I got the eagle and the mockingbird from the wilderness.

O, I got a zoo, I got a menagerie, inside my ribs, under my bony head, under my red-valve heart—and I got something else: it is a man-child heart, a woman-child heart: it is a father and mother and lover: it came from God-Knows-Where: it is going to God-Knows-Where—For I am the keeper of the zoo: I say yes and no: I sing and kill and work: I am a pal of the world: I came from the wilderness.

[The Argonaut]

I often feel like I'm the only one does any work around here. My co-workers yap a lot. One women told the same story yesterday three different times, crying during it's telling two of those times.

The story?

Her boyfriend gave her a scarf and $1000 as a Christmas present. Except he didn't give her $1000. Apparently he had asked her for money in some emergency a while ago and she didn't have it. So he's giving her $1000 to hold for him in case he ever needs to ask her for money again. This is her Christmas present.

And this makes her cry tears of joy.

That's at least kind of funny in it's ridiculous level of goofiness. But most of the time they're just yap yap yapping, complaining about how much work there is to do while not doing any of it.

It's fine though. No one really gives me a hard time or anything. I just don't like jobs

[dad]

is this your gov't job?

[The Argonaut]

I’ll never watch la la land so please explain the significance

Ryan Gosling and Emma Stone break up and then run into each other years later and have a little shared telepathic fantasy about how happy they would have been if they had stayed together. Fucked up