Parents getting old

[daft twat]

Once in a lifetime family trip to Rio yesterday. We were eating a shitty meal in the Atlanta airport while we waited for our red eye connection. My dad called and said my mom had massive brain bleed. $3k and one hour later we were back on a plane headed for Minneapolis. Immediately drove to Duluth. She was breathing due to a ventilator, but really she was already gone before they pulled the plug this morning. 72. I’m completely at sea.

[spike]

I’m so sorry daft

[Rangi Guy]

Shit - that's harsh. I feel you buddy!

[wease]

Aw fuck. So sorry daft.

[Ello Sailor]

Sorry man

[lennytheweedwhacker]

Man that's rough. I'm sorry.

[Chris_H_2]

Once in a lifetime family trip to Rio yesterday. We were eating a shitty meal in the Atlanta airport while we waited for our red eye connection. My dad called and said my mom had massive brain bleed. $3k and one hour later we were back on a plane headed for Minneapolis. Immediately drove to Duluth. She was breathing due to a ventilator, but really she was already gone before they pulled the plug this morning. 72. I’m completely at sea.

holy crap buddy, what a stomach punch. so sorry. we're all here for you.

[BurtReynolds]

Sorry man

[tree_]

That really sucks. Hang in there. Remember the good times. Everything is temporary.

[Jorge]

Once in a lifetime family trip to Rio yesterday. We were eating a shitty meal in the Atlanta airport while we waited for our red eye connection. My dad called and said my mom had massive brain bleed. $3k and one hour later we were back on a plane headed for Minneapolis. Immediately drove to Duluth. She was breathing due to a ventilator, but really she was already gone before they pulled the plug this morning. 72. I’m completely at sea.

My condolences. That's awful.

[VinylGuy]

very sorry dt, hang on there.

[doug rr]

sorry daft...

[Peeps]

my condolences brandon

[daft twat]

Appreciate it, everyone. It’s funny how so many of us find our way to RM in these circumstances. We’re meeting with the funeral home today to discuss arrangements. My dad and my sister are struggling much more than I am. The way I grieve always makes me feel psychotic. I’m not quite Meursault in The Stranger, but I’m closer to him than I am to normal people.

Here are some of the thoughts I can’t share with family right now:
1 She was 72. It’s not tragically young. It’s slightly below average.
2 This past winter they went to Hawaii instead of Arizona. They realized they were too old for those trips now and planned to go back to Arizona this winter. Basically, they had reached the point where there was no list of things left to do. They were just repeating. Not to say there isn’t value in that life, but it doesn’t feel cut short. She’d been retired for 12 years.
3 They went to Hawaii because their dog finally died after 15 years. She never really recovered from that. She got a tattoo (her first and only) because of that. I’m so glad she died before my dad. She would have been a wreck and scared, as much as I hate to say it, a burden.
4 She never had to be an old lady. She never had curly white hair. She never needed help with basic stuff. She didn’t have to go to a nursing home. She lived 72 years and 71 of them were good.
5 She died because of MRSA. She almost died 2 years ago from it. We figured it stemmed from cutting her foot on a grocery cart. She had a couple of surgeries and a tough recovery. It must have laid dormant. This time it was just everywhere, but she never knew. She thought she had a virus. The sickness started the day before she died. She threw up and said she felt better afterwards. So she never was afraid. She never knew she was dying.

I guess all in all I just feel super grateful about all of it. I’ve seen two grandparents waste away from cancer in tremendous pain. I saw another live out his final days in assisted living, dying at 100 almost 40 years after his wife. I don’t have anything I wish I’d told her. I told her I loved her every time I saw her. I’ve lost my mother, but I’m 49. I’m equipped to handle this. I have students every year who lose parents. I am honestly overwhelmed with gratitude for how this went. Maybe I’ll feel differently in a week or a month or a year. Right now, I just wish I could share this peace with my sister and dad, and I will put this all to paper for them, but they need to grieve in their own way.

[VinylGuy]

thats a beautiful feeling dt, to actually celebrate her life, reading that made me emotional.

[Monkey_Driven]

What an incredible perspective to have right now. Much love you and your family.

[daft twat]

The funeral was yesterday. It went as well as it possibly could have. I’m proud of my father and my sister.

Drove home this evening after 5 days away. Both of my boys almost immediately made plans to do things with friends. I didn’t object, but internally I was annoyed at how quickly they sloughed off whatever sadness they felt to pursue their own selfish desires to have fun. But as soon as they were gone, my wife and I immediately fell into each other’s arms for the first time in over a week. Louis CK had a bit that you could tell how bad a person you were based on how long after 9/11 you masturbated. His punchline was, “For me it was between the two towers falling.” I felt a little bit like that today.