Star Wars: Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)

[dimejinky99]

The MJ comparison made earlier is clearly very true. Jar jar is what happens when everyone around you is afraid to say no. Peter Jackson has it going on now too (fucking bunny-sled in the hobbit)

These people need bullshit detectors and somebody just to say shit idea and here's why, but nobody's gonna put their neck on the line in order to save them from themselves.

[Will]

They built a full-scale MF.

[McParadigm]

[epilogue]

"jar jar is the key to all this"

You know, he wasn't wrong. Unfortunately.

And the doc wasn't as funny to me as it was forgiving. All this time I thought Lucas was this sort of ego-maniacal tyrant who believed he could do no wrong. But that shows even he knew he was fucking up. He made a terrible movie and he knew it. And he knew it was his fault.

[McParadigm]

But that shows even he knew he was fucking up. He made a terrible movie and he knew it. And he knew it was his fault.

I don't believe for a minute that he realized even 10% of the ways that Phantom Menace was stupid. He seems to register the "big picture" of failure, but there's just way too much dumb in there at every single level for me to believe that the person who wrote it could ever be capable of fixing the movie.

[BurtReynolds]

It really is just so amazingly amateur in so many fundamental ways, it makes me wonder if he was some Milli Vanilli-like character the studio created in a lab, and that he never really had anything to do with his older movies.

[epilogue]

But that shows even he knew he was fucking up. He made a terrible movie and he knew it. And he knew it was his fault.

I don't believe for a minute that he realized even 10% of the ways that Phantom Menace was stupid. He seems to register the "big picture" of failure, but there's just way too much dumb in there at every single level for me to believe that the person who wrote it could ever be capable of fixing the movie.

He was incapable of fixing it. And that's the realization he has in the documentary. I don't think he knew it in the writing or even through most of the shooting. Though he does specifically say before filming that it's possible to screw these things up. So some part of him was at least aware of the chance. Which says a lot in his favor. I'm not sure he's the villain everyone paints.

[Strat]

Do you want to buy some death sticks?


lol. What?

[McParadigm]

But that shows even he knew he was fucking up. He made a terrible movie and he knew it. And he knew it was his fault.

I don't believe for a minute that he realized even 10% of the ways that Phantom Menace was stupid. He seems to register the "big picture" of failure, but there's just way too much dumb in there at every single level for me to believe that the person who wrote it could ever be capable of fixing the movie.

He was incapable of fixing it. And that's the realization he has in the documentary. I don't think he knew it in the writing or even through most of the shooting. Though he does specifically say before filming that it's possible to screw these things up. So some part of him was at least aware of the chance. Which says a lot in his favor. I'm not sure he's the villain everyone paints.

I'd bet both your balls that, if you asked him how he'd like to change the first twenty minutes of the film, he'd say "well, it doesn't really go off course until a little after that."

[stip]

Yesssssss

http://www.theguardian.com/film/2013/no ... rison-ford

Rumor: The Millenium Falcon on a 1:1 scale inside and out, has already been built/is currently being built at Pinewood Studios, London, UK

sigh

Spoiler: show

We'd better find a way to put him in it. If we pack in enough of the surface iconography, nobody will notice that we're not doing anything new.

Funnily enough, the thing that best illustrates what I expect these new movies to be is from the prequels: someone thought it would be cool to see Yoda in action training young Jedi, but at the same time it was deemed important to include as many reference points as possible to the old films. So you had the very silly "public school-style Jedi Academy, with 20 kids holding baby lightsabers and wearing blast shields as they swing at floating robot balls" thing. Hell, even the Jedi robes were silly. Apparently, instead of Obi Wan wearing them as a reasonably logical disguise as he hit in the desert, they were just ordinary Jedi attire. So he was hiding on a planet Darth Vader knew he had visited before, dressed as...himself.

The prequels were an opportunity to see new things. Maybe they wouldn't have been so poorly written if they hadn't been designed with the sole intention of repackaging the old.

Obviously there are other things wrong with the prequels, but that Jedi Academy moment (and the "look guyz i has R2 and the Falcon!" talk) is exactly the sort of decision JJ made with Star Trek…serve nostalgia at the cost to character and story.

Also, there are few things less appealing to me than the idea of watching modern day Harrison Ford sitting in the Falcon cockpit. I don't really go for GILF porn.

I wonder if Spock will have a cameo in this as himself

[stip]

story wise it might be perfectly plausible that the Millenium Falcon is in this, McP. That's not R2D2 in the prequels level of ridiculousness without knowing the story. Aren't Luke et all in it as well? that COULD suck, but it's not absurd on the face of it.

[McParadigm]

story wise it might be perfectly plausible that the Millenium Falcon is in this, McP. That's not R2D2 in the prequels level of ridiculousness without knowing the story. Aren't Luke et all in it as well? that COULD suck, but it's not absurd on the face of it.

you mean the now hundred year old ship that just happened to partake in every major battle of the rebellion, usher legendary heroine Leia Orgasma from out of the clutches of the evil Empire (possibly Russia I guess), housed hours long boning sessions that produced various half-jedi half-fugitive spawn, and helped one of the all time most moustachinest dudes destroy the goddamn Death Star (II)?



No, honestly, I can imagine it naturally fitting (on an appropriate level) into a quality story. This this, (and JJ's history with this in general) doesn't really smack of that level of inclusion. It's far more this-y than this ought to this.

[stip]

how far after jedi are these rumored to take place?

[McParadigm]

how far after jedi are these rumored to take place?

Given how the original cast looks, it better be at least 25 years.

The Falcon is...man, I just don't see why it needs a big part. Give it a little moment, so people don't bitch, and move on. It's an old ship.

More than that, the end of Return gave Han a really great end-moment for his personal growth story. If that's where we find him now, then the Falcon has no function. I mean, if intergalactic problem solver turned geriatric Han Solo is still vesting up and Falconing around the galaxy in his spare time, then he's not really all that different from some ponytailed CEO who sneaks off down to the lake house on weekends to listen to Stephen Stills records and look at pictures of his younger self on motorcycles. It kinda makes him lame.

If he didn't end up with that happy ending...if, like, he and Leia divorced or whatever and he turned bitter again...then his entire journey was pretty empty and meaningless, and a lot of what made his character worth investing in turns out to have been completely transient. So introducing the Falcon just seems to create characterization problems that are totally unnecessary, unless you think it is inherently impossible to create a new cool ship design and give it its own legacy.

--

With all that said, I'll tell you what I think is going to happen, because this is a JJ Abrams film:

1. Some plotted dilemma will jumpstart early on to give our heroes something to do (this will preferably be built on the shadows of previous ideas, because take no risks). There will then be a point about 20-40 minutes into the film where Han and someone else (possibly an old character, possibly someone new, possibly a group) really, really need a ship.

2. At this point, there'll be a jack off nudge-nudge suggestive line that amounts to little more than "I've got something that might work nyuck nyuck." They'll go somewhere very nearby, which is pretty much just an extension of where they were but which at least one other character doesn't seem to know exists. This is because someone once told JJ that it can help to have one of the characters in a scene be like a stand-in for the audience, and he totally misunderstood how and why that might work.

3. Han will attempt a smirk or try to look proud as he flips a switch or hits a button. On Harrison Ford’s current face, this will look like gas. We can’t really blame JJ for that, but it will happen.

4. There will then be a big reveal shot where a hanger door is slowly opened or lights come on (flaring, if you will) one at a time to reveal….the Falcon. It will be followed up with a stupid callback joke to the "what a piece of junk" line in the original movie, because why risk your own jokes when you can just remind people of ones they’ve already heard. And even though the whole moment was a tired and lazy manipulation of nostalgia with no value added (and doesn't actually make all that much sense, if your brain hasn't been totally anesthetized by this point in the movie), you're supposed to fanboy a load into your shorts because "duuuuuude so cool it's the Falcon."

[BurtReynolds]

that sounds about right.

[epilogue]

But that shows even he knew he was fucking up. He made a terrible movie and he knew it. And he knew it was his fault.

I don't believe for a minute that he realized even 10% of the ways that Phantom Menace was stupid. He seems to register the "big picture" of failure, but there's just way too much dumb in there at every single level for me to believe that the person who wrote it could ever be capable of fixing the movie.

He was incapable of fixing it. And that's the realization he has in the documentary. I don't think he knew it in the writing or even through most of the shooting. Though he does specifically say before filming that it's possible to screw these things up. So some part of him was at least aware of the chance. Which says a lot in his favor. I'm not sure he's the villain everyone paints.

I'd bet both your balls that, if you asked him how he'd like to change the first twenty minutes of the film, he'd say "well, it doesn't really go off course until a little after that."

I'm not sure you can initiate a bet with something that's mine.

[VinylGuy]

must fight all this...weird...feelings...

[dimejinky99]

They built a full-scale MF.

I want this to be real

[bada]

McP really doesn't like the idea of characters reverting back to old behavior.

[epilogue]

McP really doesn't like the idea of characters reverting back to old behavior.

No, he really doesn't like JJ Abrams.