Thanksgiving for Turkey Haters

[E.H. Ruddock]

knuckles of frisco

I always appreciate a good Knuckles of Frisco reference

[spike]

i think i need sushi or something for dinner; too many leftovers this weekend.

[malice]

i think i need sushi or something for dinner; too many leftovers this weekend.

this

[spike]

i think i need sushi or something for dinner; too many leftovers this weekend.

this

i just had leftover stuffing for dinner

[malice]

i think i need sushi or something for dinner; too many leftovers this weekend.

this

i just had leftover stuffing for dinner

i had turkey soup :/

[spike]

i think i need sushi or something for dinner; too many leftovers this weekend.

this

i just had leftover stuffing for dinner

i had turkey soup :/

i'm sorta happy to be back at work tomorrow so i'm not near my fridge all day.

[Norah]

Went to my last thanksgiving dinner obligation tonight at my crazy aunt's house. I was pleasantly surprised when roast beef was served.

[knuckles of frisco]

oh i'll be eating plenty of bird on thursday

describe the best bird you've ever eaten, fowlpal

i feel like we've perfected our turkey recipe, and it's really fairly simple. we use a turkey breast only, but i suppose it'd work for a whole turkey as well.

first in the herb aisle of the produce section, get a "poultry mix" which (i think) is sage, thyme, and rosemary.

cook up 3-4 strips of bacon, reserve the fat. when it cools, crumble/chop it up in to small bits.
chop up all the stuff in the poultry mix.

take about 3/4 stick of butter, the crumbled up bacon, and the chopped up green stuff. mash it together to make a paste. lift the skin of the bird and rub that shit all over.

take your reserved bacon fat and brush over the outside of the turkey.

roast it at whatever the standard roasting temp is (350?) for a couple hours or until a thermometer reads 165 or whatever the non-poisonous temp is.

wait 20 mins before carving.

cliponworld post

haha I'd never use something called "poultry mix." But this reminds me of one of my favorite old posts of yours during your meltdown months over at the elitest board i post at because i'm an elitest who ironically misspells elitist (crap, I just said I was going to stop doing that...I'm working on it). It was totally mocking me for trying to measure everything precisely and basically indicating I couldn't cook because of it...hangon, maybe I can go find it. Yeah, here it is.

I've never met a lot of people, I'm just saying men are funny when they talk about cooking.

and they can prepare elite dishes with ingredients you have to buy at a gourmet store but they have no soul, they need precision and details to cover up for their lack of any real feeling for the food, or who they prepare it for.

I left off the part where you insinuated there was an undercurrent of homosexuality to discussing cooking, but you get the picture. Pretty funny stuff, although the interesting thing is it convinced me to be a little more fast and loose with things in the kitchen, so thanks for helping me out there. "4 or 40 cloves of garlic" appears in most recipes i share with others nowadays. But you know, it's tough to run before walking so thanks for the push.

Anyway while I'm here, here is the turkey recipe I favor for a thanksgiving feast. The original post from I think 2012 indicates it was not raved about, however Thanksgiving 2013 featured a 50% rave rate which is pretty good for a butterball turkey I'd say.

Spoiler: show

From ATK. The only change i made was to buy a whole bird, butcher it into various parts, and make turkey stock from the back, neck & wingtips (along w/ an onion, carrot, celery, garlic, bay, & peppercorns). Chill the stock overnight, pull out the fat, reduce it by about a third. Then, do what it says below. I would up the stock in the baking pan to maybe 1.5 cups, or maybe add an extra cup halfway through if it needs it, 'cuz i didn't get much in the way of drippings out of the veggies. People raved about the gravy, and while the bird was not raved about, i can tell you it was pretty damn good and it looked fucking beautiful


Ingredients
Turkey

* 3 medium onions , chopped medium
* 3 medium celery ribs , chopped medium
* 2 medium carrots , peeled and chopped medium
* 5 sprigs fresh thyme
* 5 medium garlic cloves , peeled and halved
* 1 cup low-sodium chicken broth
* 1 whole bone-in, skin-on turkey breast (5 to 7 pounds), trimmed of excess fat and patted dry with paper towels (see note)
* 4 pounds turkey drumsticks and thighs, trimmed of excess fat and patted dry with paper towels (see note)
* 3 tablespoons unsalted butter , melted
* 1 tablespoon table salt
* 2 teaspoons ground black pepper

Gravy

* 2 cups low-sodium chicken broth
* 3 tablespoons unsalted butter
* 3 tablespoons unbleached all-purpose flour
* 2 bay leaves

Instructions

* 1. For the Turkey: Adjust oven rack to lower-middle position and heat oven to 275 degrees. Arrange onions, celery, carrots, thyme, and garlic in even layer on rimmed baking sheet. Pour broth into baking sheet. Place wire rack on top of vegetables (rack will rest on vegetables, not on bottom of baking sheet).
* 2. Brush turkey pieces on all sides with melted butter. Sprinkle salt and pepper evenly over turkey. Place breast skin-side down and drumsticks and thighs skin-side up on rack on vegetable-filled baking sheet, leaving at least 1/4 inch between pieces.
* 3. Roast turkey pieces 1 hour. Using wads of paper towels, turn turkey breast skin-side up. Continue roasting until instant-read thermometer registers 160 degrees when inserted in thickest part of breast and 170 to 175 degrees in thickest part of thighs, 1 to 2 hours longer. Remove baking sheet from oven and transfer rack with turkey to second baking sheet. Allow pieces to rest at least 30 minutes or up to 1 1/2 hours.
* 4. For the Gravy: Strain vegetables and liquid from baking sheet through colander set in large bowl. Press solids with back of spatula to extract as much liquid as possible. Discard vegetables. Transfer liquid in bowl to 4-cup liquid measuring cup. Add chicken broth to measuring cup (you should have about 3 cups liquid).
* 5. In medium saucepan, heat butter over medium-high heat; when foaming subsides, add flour and cook, stirring constantly, until flour is dark golden brown and fragrant, about 5 minutes. Whisk in broth mixture and bay leaves and gradually bring to boil. Reduce heat to medium-low and simmer, stirring occasionally, until gravy is thick and reduced to 2 cups, 15 to 20 minutes. Discard bay leaves. Remove gravy from heat and adjust seasonings with salt and pepper. Keep gravy warm.
* 6. To Serve: Heat oven to 500 degrees. Place baking sheet with turkey in oven. Roast until skin is golden brown and crisp, about 15 minutes. Remove baking sheet from oven, transfer turkey to cutting board, and let rest 20 minutes. Carve and serve, passing warm gravy separately.

I like this recipe because I can killroom the turkey on Wednesday while I'm drinking whiskey and doing prep work and then on Thursday I just stick it in the oven.

[malice]

jesus brian, are you really so bored/insecure you feel a need to address every dumb comment i've posted in regards to you in the last 8 years? I can't point you to specific threads but I'm sure there's a goldmine of dumb commentary from me waiting for you in the 2004-2012 RM archive at the bottom of the main page.
feel free to make a new thread about it. i'm sure great hilarity will ensue both here and teh fuge - yay!

[knuckles of frisco]

jesus brian, are you really so bored/insecure you feel a need to address every dumb comment i've posted in regards to you in the last 8 years? I can't point you to specific threads but I'm sure there's a goldmine of dumb commentary from me waiting for you in the 2004-2012 RM archive at the bottom of the main page.

oh mal. I'm sure ten-years-ago-me can out dumb-commentary ten-years-ago-you any day. But no, like i said, just vanity searchin' on a lazy sunday. Have a good rest of your weekend & spring & 2014.

[malice]

jesus brian, are you really so bored/insecure you feel a need to address every dumb comment i've posted in regards to you in the last 8 years? I can't point you to specific threads but I'm sure there's a goldmine of dumb commentary from me waiting for you in the 2004-2012 RM archive at the bottom of the main page.

oh mal. I'm sure ten-years-ago-me can out dumb-commentary ten-years-ago-you any day. But no, like i said, just vanity searchin' on a lazy sunday. Have a good rest of your weekend & spring & 2014.

what about 2015

[spike]

let us all give thanks

[Alex]

kudos the hero knuckles of frisco

[malice]

coffee

[Alex]

i'm going to revisit RM 8 years from now to make fun of orpheus for never posting his stand-up comedy video

[Man in Black]

I don't like turkey.

I usually have ham.

[Chris_H_2]

This year I'm doing something different. Completely antithetical to the point of this thread, I'm cooking a Heritage turkey, which was ridiculous expensive (and tough to come by) and means I'll probably overcook it. Nevertheless, I'm excited.

Turkey or GTFO.

[E.H. Ruddock]

Team, I have some fantastic recipes for thanksgiving side dishes if anyone is interested.

[pnjguy]

My mom always makes capon for thanksgiving. It's just juicier and less gammy than turkey.

[doug rr]

My mom always makes capon for thanksgiving. It's just juicier and less gammy than turkey.

we do capons a few times a year..good stuff

we are going to friends house this year and I've been asked to smoke a pork shoulder which means I have to get up next thursday at 4 in the morning to cook it for 8-9 hours and then haul it off to Brentwood