Ask LoathedVermin

[LoathedVermin72]

You know, re-reading my original post, I feel like I need to clarify some things. What I said sounds really bad; it comes off like I’m excusing the fact that he physically lashed out at a woman, and that bugs me. Obviously it is not okay to hit a woman. I never intended to dismiss his behavior.

What I was trying to get across (extremely poorly) was that I’m uncomfortable making generalized judgments about a person’s character based on things they did while drunk or high. I have a relative who’s been struggling with alcoholism lately. She’s treated her kids, my mom, my wife, and others terribly. She’s been abusive. She’s just said and done really horrible, awful things. And if a stranger were to judge her based on her behavior while intoxicated, they would probably say she’s a huge piece of shit and an asshole. But I’ve known her for years and I know that’s not the case. She’s a kind, beautiful person with a lot of love in her. But she’s in a bad place and she’s in a compromised state of mind. Alcohol can have that effect.

[epilogue]

You know, re-reading my original post, I feel like I need to clarify some things. What I said sounds really bad; it comes off like I’m excusing the fact that he physically lashed out at a woman, and that bugs me. Obviously it is not okay to hit a woman. I never intended to dismiss his behavior.

Thank you for that.

I'll now read the rest of your post.

[epilogue]

What I was trying to get across (extremely poorly) was that I’m uncomfortable making generalized judgments about a person’s character based on things they did while drunk or high. I have a relative who’s been struggling with alcoholism lately. She’s treated her kids, my mom, my wife, and others terribly. She’s been abusive. She’s just said and done really horrible, awful things. And if a stranger were to judge her based on her behavior while intoxicated, they would probably say she’s a huge piece of shit and an asshole. But I’ve known her for years and I know that’s not the case. She’s a kind, beautiful person with a lot of love in her. But she’s in a bad place and she’s in a compromised state of mind. Alcohol can have that effect.

I don't know your relative, so I won't speak to that. But I will say no one is one thing, obviously. And people under the influence of drugs/alcohol are perhaps not themselves and/or can behave in ways they would otherwise not behave. Of course. But one must still be accountable for their actions. And drugs and alcohol are no excuse. Ray Rice was drunk. So was he fiance. No excuse. Having said that, I hope the best for your relative. It sounds like she needs help and I hope she's receiving it.

In regards to Mr. Bukowski, specifically, I'll say that I have been under the influence many many many times in my life. You know what I've never once done when drunk? Hit a woman. Or a man, for that matter. I punched a glove box once. But never a person. Even those that have tried to hit me.

I've never read any of Bukowski's work. But I've seen/read many interviews with the man. Yes, he was drunk. Yes, he's usually drunk. But by no means does that excuse his behavior. It's not just one incident. It's a pattern of disrespect and violence. It happens time and time again. Should that bother you or affect how you feel about his work? That's up to you to decide. But there is no argument that sways me from the blatant fact that the man was a dick. And had issues with women. But, again, no one is just one thing.

[LoathedVermin72]

What I was trying to get across (extremely poorly) was that I’m uncomfortable making generalized judgments about a person’s character based on things they did while drunk or high. I have a relative who’s been struggling with alcoholism lately. She’s treated her kids, my mom, my wife, and others terribly. She’s been abusive. She’s just said and done really horrible, awful things. And if a stranger were to judge her based on her behavior while intoxicated, they would probably say she’s a huge piece of shit and an asshole. But I’ve known her for years and I know that’s not the case. She’s a kind, beautiful person with a lot of love in her. But she’s in a bad place and she’s in a compromised state of mind. Alcohol can have that effect.

I don't know your relative, so I won't speak to that. But I will say no one is one thing, obviously. And people under the influence of drugs/alcohol are perhaps not themselves and/or can behave in ways they would otherwise not behave. Of course. But one must still be accountable for their actions. And drugs and alcohol are no excuse. Ray Rice was drunk. So was he fiance. No excuse. Having said that, I hope the best for your relative. It sounds like she needs help and I hope she's receiving it.

In regards to Mr. Bukowski, specifically, I'll say that I have been under the influence many many many times in my life. You know what I've never once done when drunk? Hit a woman. Or a man, for that matter. I punched a glove box once. But never a person. Even those that have tried to hit me.

I've never read any of Bukowski's work. But I've seen/read many interviews with the man. Yes, he was drunk. Yes, he's usually drunk. But by no means does that excuse his behavior. It's not just one incident. It's a pattern of disrespect and violence. It happens time and time again. Should that bother you or affect how you feel about his work? That's up to you to decide. But there is no argument that sways me from the blatant fact that the man was a dick. And had issues with women. But, again, no one is just one thing.

I agree with pretty much of all of that. But for me there’s a difference between holding someone accountable for their shitty actions and making judgments about them as a person. Bukowski was drunk a lot. He did a lot of shitty things. But I don’t think he was ultimately a shitty person, really, similarly to how I know my relative isn’t a shitty person despite all the shitty things she has done recently.

I think to be a shitty person, general shittiness has to be part of someone’s outlook and thoughts. For example, it’s probably fair to say Donald Sterling is a shitty person because he’s a racist. That racism is part of his conscious, sober outlook. Part of how he views the world. And that’s really shitty. But when I read the work of Bukowski, when I read the way he talks about women in his work, I don’t hear the words of a shitty misogynist. I hear the words of a complex human being who views women as complex human beings. They are every bit as real and human as the men in his work. I don’t think he demeans them through his art, which I think would be the mark of a true misogynist.

Basically, I think the guy was a drunk who had some mean, violent tendencies. He did some nasty things that he should certainly be held accountable for. And, for context, he spent most of his life surrounded by people – men and women – who were cut from similar cloth. But I don’t think that makes him a shitty human being.

[epilogue]

Like I said, I've never read his work. Nor do I necessarily think that his general asshole-ness means that he wasn't a great writer or that his work shouldn't be read. In my reply you'll noticed that I backed away from using the word misogynist. Because of my own ignorance, it would be unfair to level him with that claim. I wouldn't want to be called a misogynist by someone who read that joke I posted a while back in reference to your Gone Girl complaints. So, fine, I won't use that word. But, based on what I've seen, the man had tendencies and obvious issues with women. And he was an asshole. Just in general. So fine, whatever. Sometimes people are assholes. Philip Roth seems like he's probably an asshole. John Lennon was an asshole. That's not a value judgement, it's just an observation.

[@SkitchP]

Joey's lying. Because I it's impossible that someone has tried to hit him.

[E.H. Ruddock]

Have you seen/thoughts on:

Mars Attacks
My Dog Skip
Maria Full of Grace
Rabbit-Proof Fence
Shoot 'em Up

I like Mars Attacks. Haven't seen MDS since theaters. Haven't seen the others.

You should really check out Rabbit Proof Fence and Shoot 'Em Up.

Have you seen The Way Back? (Not to be confused with the Way Way Back)

[LoathedVermin72]

Have you seen The Way Back? (Not to be confused with the Way Way Back)

I have, and I dug it quite a bit. Colin Farrell is fantastic in that.

[epilogue]

Joey's lying. Because I it's impossible that someone has tried to hit him.

[E.H. Ruddock]

Have you seen The Way Back? (Not to be confused with the Way Way Back)

I have, and I dug it quite a bit. Colin Farrell is fantastic in that.

Yeah the scene where he doesn't want to cross out of Russia is a pretty awesome scene.

[tommymtcom]

LV, what is your opinion of the movie Three Kings?

[E.H. Ruddock]

[LoathedVermin72]

LV, what is your opinion of the movie Three Kings?

It's okay. I'm not a David O. Russell fan.

[LetMeSleep]

http://www.smh.com.au/entertainment/mov ... 1q08x.html

[epilogue]

What are the best opening sequences in film history?

[BigRedLedbetter]

What are the best opening sequences in film history?

Winner.

[The Argonaut]

I'd nominate Manhattan.

[epilogue]

I'd nominate Manhattan.

That's a damn good one. I was thinking 2001. Up is also pretty outstanding.

[Dev]

2001

[epilogue]

2001