Movie: Jurassic World (6/2015)

[malice]

http://www.wired.com/2014/11/jurassic-world-trailer/

Three Reasons Not to Give Up on Jurassic World

Okay, as with any emergency situation, the first step is not to panic. We don’t need to tell you what’s going on in this first trailer for Jurassic World, or about all the concerns we suddenly have, because we’ve all watched it by now and are all unbuttoning our top buttons to alleviate the tension sweats. But let’s not be Debbie Downers about it! Let’s take hold of those frowns and turn them upside down! After all, this is only the first trailer, and when a studio endeavors to resurrect one of the most treasured and magical screen adventures of all time, even living up to (never mind surpassing) that measure of brilliance is impossible. Basically, anything short of Dr. Ellie Sattler showing up to hold our hands and tell us this movie will be awesome was going to be underwhelming. But since Laura Dern couldn’t make that many house calls, here are three Good Things we found in this trailer for the fourth installment of Jurassic Park. Keep hope alive.

The Talent Factor Is High
Parks and Rec fans have adored Chris Pratt for years, but thanks to his turn as Star Lord in this year’s biggest movie so far, Guardians of the Galaxy, he’s become a household name. Also, super-yoked. The snippets of dialogue we got here were a little gravelly and self-serious for our tastes (LOL “depends what kind of dinosaur they cooked up in that lab”), but Pratt practically sweats charm—and wearing all that utility gear in the rainforest, he’s bound to sweat a lot. He’s also being directed by Colin Trevorrow, who might be new to the blockbuster ball but did a fantastic job with Safety Not Guaranteed. There must be comedic and tonal nuance present in this movie that a first trailer just can’t capture, right? Hook ’em with the special effects, then sneak attack them with interesting characters and surprising amounts of depth once they’re in the theaters, right? Also, Bryce Dallas Howard is promising as the severely styled megalomaniacal scientist, and considering we didn’t see any Jake Johnson or Vincent D’Onofrio in this first clip, we know we’ve got plenty of treats waiting for us as more footage is meted out. (Plus, even if Judy Greer disappears after sending her kids to Jurassic World, there’s still Judy Greer!)

Dinosaurs Are Still Cool
It might be a cheap cash-in, but the coolness watching that whatever-it-was marine beast rocket out of the water and eat a whole shark outweights just about any profit-mongering. A few well-placed displays of pre-historic creatures being awesome in the most literal sense of the word will go a long, long way to making this movie worth its ticket price. Though we should point out that “awesome in the most literal sense” does not include raptors trotting along Chris Pratt on his wee motorcycle like so many coldblooded Ewoks.

We Want This to Work
Even if the CGI paintbrush strokes are a little thick for our tastes, we still want to believe when we see those big, wonderful letters spelling out “Jurassic Park.” There are plenty of OG Park fans (Jurassic, we mean, not …s & Recreation) who will flood movie theaters next to June to re-experience the heart-swelling wonder of sweeping tropical vistas and packs of sprinting Gallimimus, all tied together with the perfect score. There are at least shades of that here, with herds of Brachiosaurs feeding alongside rivers and amidst leafy glades while horns and strings tickle our emotions. Granted, that’s the easy part of movies like this—when you have a billion dollars to spend, the monsters should at least look damn real—but if the minds behind Jurassic World do their job well enough to get audiences to suspend their disbelief, fans old and new will be much more willing to forgive certain inadequacies. Convince us this sequel is about reviving the magic and wonder of a groundbreaking film experience, and not just stealing money from anyone who’s ever had an imagination, and we’ll get along just fine.

counterpoint: the genetically modified hybrid dinosaur is called diabolus rex

you couldn't have told me that before I posted that article??

[Alex]

http://www.wired.com/2014/11/jurassic-world-trailer/

Three Reasons Not to Give Up on Jurassic World

Okay, as with any emergency situation, the first step is not to panic. We don’t need to tell you what’s going on in this first trailer for Jurassic World, or about all the concerns we suddenly have, because we’ve all watched it by now and are all unbuttoning our top buttons to alleviate the tension sweats. But let’s not be Debbie Downers about it! Let’s take hold of those frowns and turn them upside down! After all, this is only the first trailer, and when a studio endeavors to resurrect one of the most treasured and magical screen adventures of all time, even living up to (never mind surpassing) that measure of brilliance is impossible. Basically, anything short of Dr. Ellie Sattler showing up to hold our hands and tell us this movie will be awesome was going to be underwhelming. But since Laura Dern couldn’t make that many house calls, here are three Good Things we found in this trailer for the fourth installment of Jurassic Park. Keep hope alive.

The Talent Factor Is High
Parks and Rec fans have adored Chris Pratt for years, but thanks to his turn as Star Lord in this year’s biggest movie so far, Guardians of the Galaxy, he’s become a household name. Also, super-yoked. The snippets of dialogue we got here were a little gravelly and self-serious for our tastes (LOL “depends what kind of dinosaur they cooked up in that lab”), but Pratt practically sweats charm—and wearing all that utility gear in the rainforest, he’s bound to sweat a lot. He’s also being directed by Colin Trevorrow, who might be new to the blockbuster ball but did a fantastic job with Safety Not Guaranteed. There must be comedic and tonal nuance present in this movie that a first trailer just can’t capture, right? Hook ’em with the special effects, then sneak attack them with interesting characters and surprising amounts of depth once they’re in the theaters, right? Also, Bryce Dallas Howard is promising as the severely styled megalomaniacal scientist, and considering we didn’t see any Jake Johnson or Vincent D’Onofrio in this first clip, we know we’ve got plenty of treats waiting for us as more footage is meted out. (Plus, even if Judy Greer disappears after sending her kids to Jurassic World, there’s still Judy Greer!)

Dinosaurs Are Still Cool
It might be a cheap cash-in, but the coolness watching that whatever-it-was marine beast rocket out of the water and eat a whole shark outweights just about any profit-mongering. A few well-placed displays of pre-historic creatures being awesome in the most literal sense of the word will go a long, long way to making this movie worth its ticket price. Though we should point out that “awesome in the most literal sense” does not include raptors trotting along Chris Pratt on his wee motorcycle like so many coldblooded Ewoks.

We Want This to Work
Even if the CGI paintbrush strokes are a little thick for our tastes, we still want to believe when we see those big, wonderful letters spelling out “Jurassic Park.” There are plenty of OG Park fans (Jurassic, we mean, not …s & Recreation) who will flood movie theaters next to June to re-experience the heart-swelling wonder of sweeping tropical vistas and packs of sprinting Gallimimus, all tied together with the perfect score. There are at least shades of that here, with herds of Brachiosaurs feeding alongside rivers and amidst leafy glades while horns and strings tickle our emotions. Granted, that’s the easy part of movies like this—when you have a billion dollars to spend, the monsters should at least look damn real—but if the minds behind Jurassic World do their job well enough to get audiences to suspend their disbelief, fans old and new will be much more willing to forgive certain inadequacies. Convince us this sequel is about reviving the magic and wonder of a groundbreaking film experience, and not just stealing money from anyone who’s ever had an imagination, and we’ll get along just fine.

counterpoint: the genetically modified hybrid dinosaur is called diabolus rex

you couldn't have told me that before I posted that article??

diabolus lex

[McParadigm]

I'm holding out for Jurassic Park 5: Dinosaur Train

[Alex]

Jurassic Park 6: Attack of the Clones

[McParadigm]

Jurassic Park 7: A Series of Unadorned Apologies from a Broad Number of People Involved or Previously Involved in the Film Industry

[E.H. Ruddock]

Jurassic Park 8:

Spoiler: show

[McParadigm]

That's actually the face I make when receiving oral sex.

Most of the rest of the time, it's a great deal more scowly.

[Alex]

this is the first time i've ever considered mcparadigm to be capable of indulging in any impulse that does not stem from the super-ego

[LoathedVermin72]

I wish James Cameron would make his R-rated Jurassic Park. Oh how glorious it would be.

[epilogue]

Is it gonna be more like the book? Or just a bloodier amusement park ride?

[McParadigm]

It's always important to be as faithful to the text as possible, when converting a hack tenth grade tale packed with bullshit science and a lot of time code to make it feel more adult into a movie.

But even with that in mind, I feel like Cameron's visionary cat-faced giant blue nudies could be a real solid addition to this particular story.

[epilogue]

The weird thing is that I typically tend to prefer a film adaptation be fairly different from the original text, regardless of how juvenile the original text may be. But Spielberg & Co. missed some major opportunities that I'd like to see corrected should a reboot ever arrive. And it's much less to do with "bullshit science" than with tone and character. Basically, a movie that isn't meant to be a stand-in for a ride at Disney World would be great.

Also, kill Malcolm like God intended.

[LoathedVermin72]

It will never happen now. Cameron was originally going to make it, but Spielberg beat him to the rights by literally hours. Cameron said his version was basically going to be Aliens with dinosaurs, and it was going to be really vicious. He's since said he now thinks he would have been the wrong director for the project, since it makes sense that a movie about dinosaurs should be able to be seen by children.

Also, kill Malcolm like God intended.

You go to hell and you die.

[McParadigm]

Also, kill Malcolm like God intended.

Huh. You're right. He really only lived so he could spend the second half of the film sprawled out behind people who still mattered, in a pose that could only be called "the promise."

I guess I never noticed that.

[epilogue]

It will never happen now. Cameron was originally going to make it, but Spielberg beat him to the rights by literally hours. Cameron said his version was basically going to be Aliens with dinosaurs, and it was going to be really vicious. He's since said he now thinks he would have been the wrong director for the project, since it makes sense that a movie about dinosaurs should be able to be seen by children.

Also, kill Malcolm like God intended.

You go to hell and you die.

Michael Crichton is a retconning motherfucking fuck fuck.

[LoathedVermin72]

All I know is that Malcolm is one of the greatest movie characters ever and he will never die.

[epilogue]

All I know is that Malcolm is one of the greatest movie characters ever and he will never die.

He is.

And he did.

Then Michael Crichton got greedy and wrote a sequel where he pretended that it never happened.

So now he won't.

[Jorge]

I found this on Reddit.

"Jurassic World could have been worse. The original idea was to have human-dinosaur hybrids. Here are some concept images leaked a few years ago"

http://imgur.com/a/ou5o6

Honestly, these look way cooler than anything in that trailer.

[Norah]

I didn't know bmacsmith was involved.

[LoathedVermin72]

I found this on Reddit.

"Jurassic World could have been worse. The original idea was to have human-dinosaur hybrids. Here are some concept images leaked a few years ago"

http://imgur.com/a/ou5o6

Honestly, these look way cooler than anything in that trailer.

I'm not sure that would work as a JP movie, but I think it could definitely be a cool standalone movie.