Microwave Cooking with Joey

LoathedVermin72 · Post by **LoathedVermin72** » Tue June 02, 2015 4:41 pm

In this thread, Joey will entertain and enlighten us with his encyclopedic knowledge of microwave cooking. Ask him anything.

Chris_H_2 · Post by **Chris_H_2** » Tue June 02, 2015 4:45 pm

joey, i just bought a mail-order heritage turkey at $25/lb, but i can't be bothered to take the time to properly prep and cook it in a traditional oven.

how many minutes per pound should i plan on staring at that thing rotate until it becomes utterly unappetizing and inedible?

Post by **epilogue** » Tue June 02, 2015 4:47 pm

Chris_H_2 wrote:joey, i just bought a mail-order heritage turkey at $25/lb, but i can't be bothered to take the time to properly prep and cook it in a traditional oven.

how many minutes per pound should i plan on staring at that thing rotate until it becomes utterly unappetizing and inedible?

You shouldn't have bought that turkey if you didn't have time to properly prepare it.

LoathedVermin72 · Post by **LoathedVermin72** » Tue June 02, 2015 4:48 pm

Joey, what is the best color for a microwave to be? White? Black? Stainless steel?

Chris_H_2 · Post by **Chris_H_2** » Tue June 02, 2015 4:50 pm

durdencommatyler wrote:
Chris_H_2 wrote:joey, i just bought a mail-order heritage turkey at $25/lb, but i can't be bothered to take the time to properly prep and cook it in a traditional oven.

how many minutes per pound should i plan on staring at that thing rotate until it becomes utterly unappetizing and inedible?
You shouldn't have bought that turkey if you didn't have time to properly prepare it.

i didn't say anything about a lack of time. it's more of a lack of a give-a-shitter.

doug rr · Post by **doug rr** » Tue June 02, 2015 4:50 pm

joey, when mircrowaving a finely marbled ribeye, do I need to flip it over halfway through?

Post by **epilogue** » Tue June 02, 2015 4:50 pm

Your microwave should go with the color scheme of your house/apartment, Verm. In a pinch stainless steel is best because it goes well with just everything.

But you should really fucking color coordinate if you're not an asshole.

LoathedVermin72 · Post by **LoathedVermin72** » Tue June 02, 2015 4:51 pm

doug rr wrote:joey, when mircrowaving a finely marbled ribeye, do I need to flip it over halfway through?

Chris_H_2 · Post by **Chris_H_2** » Tue June 02, 2015 4:55 pm

#rockbottom

Post by **epilogue** » Tue June 02, 2015 5:03 pm

Chris_H_2 wrote:
durdencommatyler wrote:
Chris_H_2 wrote:joey, i just bought a mail-order heritage turkey at $25/lb, but i can't be bothered to take the time to properly prep and cook it in a traditional oven.

how many minutes per pound should i plan on staring at that thing rotate until it becomes utterly unappetizing and inedible?
You shouldn't have bought that turkey if you didn't have time to properly prepare it.
i didn't say anything about a lack of time. it's more of a lack of a give-a-shitter.

A heritage turkey does not afford one such an attitude, friend.

Post by **epilogue** » Tue June 02, 2015 5:04 pm

Chris_H_2 wrote:#rockbottom

I can't see this image. Please try again.

Post by **epilogue** » Tue June 02, 2015 5:05 pm

doug rr wrote:joey, when mircrowaving a finely marbled ribeye, do I need to flip it over halfway through?

I've never microwaved a finely marbled ribeye, doug. I'm guessing you probably wouldn't though. But I'm not sure why you'd put a ribeye in a microwave to begin with.

Strat · Post by **Strat** » Tue June 02, 2015 5:07 pm

I think doug rr is pimping you, joey.

Post by **epilogue** » Tue June 02, 2015 5:08 pm

So I shouldn't continue to be honest in this thread? Wait... is this thread just some big joke to you guys?

LoathedVermin72 · Post by **LoathedVermin72** » Tue June 02, 2015 5:09 pm

what do you think? be honest

Post by **epilogue** » Tue June 02, 2015 5:10 pm

I think I'm being used.

Post by **Jorge** » Tue June 02, 2015 5:17 pm

You have big shoes to fill http://forums.theskyiscrape.com/viewtop ... =10&t=3787

Strat · Post by **Strat** » Tue June 02, 2015 5:17 pm

durdencommatyler wrote:I think I'm being used.

I think you're beautiful.

Post by **epilogue** » Tue June 02, 2015 5:18 pm

I thought we already had a microwave thread.

E.H. Ruddock · Post by **E.H. Ruddock** » Tue June 02, 2015 5:36 pm

MERGE!

Red Mosquito

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