Star Wars: Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)

[LetMeSleep]

Let's just agree to disagree. On everything. Ever.

Millennial comment.

[i got bugs]

Guys, you need to accept that Han is dead. He's not coming back.

Like I said, I'm not saying he's alive

I just know how it is when you don't recover the body

[McParadigm]

Can someone point to a site with a full synopsis? I have to pretend I've seen this tomorrow to avoid going with some people.

Just quote ANH and you'll be fine.

I need more specific than that, or they'll know I lied.

[Mecca]

Can someone point to a site with a full synopsis? I have to pretend I've seen this tomorrow to avoid going with some people.

Spoiler: show

Oscar Isaac and BasketBall-8 go to the desert planet of Jakku to retrieve a file from an old guy in hiding. The space Nazis come and attack the village, one of the troopers becomes a conscientious objector on the battlefield and decides not to kill innocent people. Darth Vader cosplayer captures Oscar Isaac while BasketBall rolls away and finds not-Kiera Knightley. Meanwhile CO Stormtrooper finds out that OI was retrieving a map to find Luke Skywalker, so he breaks OI out of jail and they fly a TIE fighter back towards the planet, but crash land and OI is missing from the wreckage while CO Stormtrooper who is given the name Fin stumbles into to town to find not-Kiera Knightley is with the droid carrying the map and that her name is Rey. The village is attacked and they fly off in the Millenium Falcon, which is then caught in a tractor beam by Han and Chewie. They fly off to a planet that is totally not Yavin-4, but has the same landscape and architecture. Rey finds a lightsaber that triggers jedi flashbacks and is told it once belonged to Luke Skywalker. Space Nazis attack the place, Rey gets caught by Vader Cosplayer and because she has seen the map, he stops looking for the droid. Leia and the Resistance along with previously assumed dead Oscar Isaac lead an attack to save Han, Chewie, and Fin. They reunite, get the lowdown on the starkiller base from Fin, who was a janitor storm trooper on the base. Vader Cosplayer tries to get the map from Rey's memory, but she somehow uses the force to block his powers. She jedi-mind tricks her way out of captivity, while the resistance mounts an attack against the base. Han, Chewie, and Fin mount a ground assault to destroy a power oscillator to destroy the base. Vader Cosplayer (who we just found out was Han and Leia's son) goes to check out the power oscillator and Han tries to bring him back to the light, but he just kills Han. Chewie goes crazy killing stormtroopers while Fin and Rey get out of there and Chewie sets off the charges. Vader Cosplayer follows them out, after being badly hurt by Chewie starts fighting Fin in a lightsaber duel (he has luke's blue saber) while Rey is knocked out. After disarming Fin, he tries using the force to grab the blue lightsaber (he sees it as his birthright), it flies past him to Rey and she duels him very handily and even scars him up a bit before the planet starts tearing itself apart from the destroyed oscillator and she is separated from the Cosplayer. Chewie flies the Millenium Falcon to save them. R2D2 lay dormant until they return to show that he has the missing piece of the map to skywalker. Chewie, Rey and Basketball fly off to find Luke in Ireland. She walks to the top of long stairs instead of having Chewie drop her off at the top. Luke turns around and is so out of shape, he is winded from turning and says nothing. The end.

[McParadigm]

Mecca is love. Mecca is life.

[spike]

hahahahaha

what are they going to do about fat luke anyway? quarter portions til VIII wraps?

[Kaius]

I'm surprised it took 60 pages for someone to call out LV for his hypocritical cynicism, but I guess he was being just vague enough to avoid it.

This was an impressive movie and I was bored by the classic characters for the most part. They were there to remind us of what was and where we were, but they were not critical to this film's success.

TFA had the best conflicts and emotional connections of any SW movie to date.

[Kaius]

That was so much fun.

You saw it?
Or you mean the weekend gross pool?

The movie---it was a blast.

[LetMeSleep]

That was so much fun.

You saw it?
Or you mean the weekend gross pool?

The movie---it was a blast.

Too fucking right K. Once again, I like your taste.

[Kaius]

That was so much fun.

You saw it?
Or you mean the weekend gross pool?

The movie---it was a blast.

Too fucking right K. Once again, I like your taste.

Boyega and Ridley and Isaac were all on point and BB8 was a joy. Driver was impressive as well.

[stip]

Why hasn't Joey checked in

[BurtReynolds]

Mecca is love. Mecca is life.

this is completely true, btw:

Fin, who was a janitor storm trooper on the base.

[Sgt. Crackpot]

Why hasn't Joey checked in

Oh boy.

[LetMeSleep]

Why hasn't Joey checked in

Oh boy.

Aneurysm

[stip]

Wait, what did I miss?

[LoathedVermin72]

I'm surprised it took 60 pages for someone to call out LV for his hypocritical cynicism, but I guess he was being just vague enough to avoid it.

This was an impressive movie and I was bored by the classic characters for the most part. They were there to remind us of what was and where we were, but they were not critical to this film's success.

TFA had the best conflicts and emotional connections of any SW movie to date.

lol, oh kaius

[LoathedVermin72]

Let's just agree to disagree. On everything. Ever.

Millennial comment.

Trust me, I'm happy to debate and discuss anything. But there needs to be a baseline of understanding for that to happen.

[E.H. Ruddock]

So I've seen it twice and had some time to let sink in:

LOVE:
Rey
BB-8
Poe
Chewie
The vastness of the crashed destroyer that Rey was scavenging

LIKE:
Kylo Ren
Maz
The fact that there are apparently junk dealers on every desert planet in the galaxy

HATE:
Ren's voice in the mask
C3PO's purpose
Finn. I felt really disconnected from him in a Star Wars universe

[Kaius]

I'm surprised it took 60 pages for someone to call out LV for his hypocritical cynicism, but I guess he was being just vague enough to avoid it.

This was an impressive movie and I was bored by the classic characters for the most part. They were there to remind us of what was and where we were, but they were not critical to this film's success.

TFA had the best conflicts and emotional connections of any SW movie to date.

lol, oh kaius

[Dr. Van Nostrand]

holy shit!! 69 pages already lol, i was really hoping to read about everyone hating on another movie that i loved but dont think i am up for going through that many pages

Great movie IMO, im sure once everything settles it wont be my favorite but damn was it a fun watch, and i found myself kinda getting lost in the moment a few times just kinda being in awe of seeing NEW Star Wars again.

is everyones feeling that Han is actually dead? im pretty sure he will be though they kinda left the door open for him to still be alive( what was Chewy doing until he was back on the Falcon?), but i fully expected some of the original trilogy characters to die in these movies and in a series that im sure will be a battle in the Force, the character who has no possible abilities with the force makes the most sense to die, plus it really helps Kylo try to be a bad ass