Solo: A Star Wars Story (5/25/2018)

[tragabigzanda]

Star Wars sucks now

[BurtReynolds]

And in the end Han ends up sacrificing himself for someone that he loves, with no guarantee of success and a high probability of failure. He has completed the journey that began in a New Hope. It is the perfect closure to his arc—much more than settling down with Leia for the happy ending.

Killer take, Stip.

lol no it isn;t.

Doing the same thing over and over again until it kills you is not an arc.

[spike]

maybe han solo's a closet alcoholic

wait, does alcohol even exist in star wars? i don't think we've ever seen anyone drunk on screen, so i guess we shouldn't assume that it exists since it's not acknowledged anywhere in the canon.

[Mecca]

The fact that you guys find it so hard to believe that Han could actually, genuinely be happily in love and not want to keep smuggling for criminals probably exposes the fundamental clash in how we're viewing this.

Nah. We do believe he could be. We do believe he was. And we do believe, and find it totally plausible and okay that things changed.

But why is that interesting to you? How is the way it was handled interesting to you? You are simply told all of this in a few lines of dialogue (because Abrams is a hack). Anything could be interesting I suppose, but this isn't. And its pretty obvious that this bare bones backstory only exists to reset the the world to pre-Jedi, so fanboys can rehash the same shit over again.

Plausibility is not the issue here. Get past that.

who said it was interesting? We accept it because it is plausible and that's all that is really needed.

Thats the perfect summation of Star Wars:

"not very interesting, but certainly plausible."

but the summation of all the stories is interesting to us. maybe not to you, but nobody is obligated to like something just because a lot of other people do.

[Mecca]

maybe han solo's a closet alcoholic

wait, does alcohol even exist in star wars? i don't think we've ever seen anyone drunk on screen, so i guess we shouldn't assume that it exists since it's not acknowledged anywhere in the canon.

he could be addicted to death sticks

[spike]

i mean, we don't even know if the lifeforms in star wars breathe oxygen! can you even get drunk then?

[Strat]

Could you imagine the hangovers without oxygen though? ugh

[Mecca]

I feel like Mecca had this resolved but we choose to ignore it cause its more fun to argue.

it was this post, right?

can we just all agree that this will be shit without River Phoenix portraying a young Harrison Ford?

[bada]

Shouldn't Chewie have turds hanging from his ass hair. He must smell horrible.

[LoathedVermin72]

I started typing something in response to stip, but then I remembered I'm talking to stip. And this whole maelstrom started because I engaged with stip.

Why don't I fucking learn? Things truly are cyclical.

[spike]

I started typing something in response to stip, but then I remembered I'm talking to stip. And this whole maelstrom started because I engaged with stip.

Why don't I fucking learn? Things truly are cyclical.

oh god, RM has no arc!

[Strat]

I started typing something in response to stip, but then I remembered I'm talking to stip. And this whole maelstrom started because I engaged with stip.

Why don't I fucking learn? Things truly are cyclical.

You are no different than stip, my friend.

[bada]

I feel like Mecca had this resolved but we choose to ignore it cause its more fun to argue.

it was this post, right?

can we just all agree that this will be shit without River Phoenix portraying a young Harrison Ford?

Yes that post belongs in a museum.

[Strat]

I started typing something in response to stip, but then I remembered I'm talking to stip. And this whole maelstrom started because I engaged with stip.

Why don't I fucking learn? Things truly are cyclical.

oh god, RM has no arc!

Nevermind

[bada]

We should move over to something we can all agree on like how awesome the GnR Reunion will be. C'Mon onto Other Bands!

[E.H. Ruddock]

this thread has agency

[McParadigm]

If you are saying Jedi should have been the end of Star Wars and any continuation ruined the fairy tale then that's fine but if you are going to continue with those characters where should Han be thematically?

sitting at home, being less cynical and musing about his glory days

I get what you're doing, but I'll be a sucker.

I would have been more interested in a story where his current posit is actually left unexplained or only barely explained (leave the guy some mystery), and something like the following occurs:

1. The New Order has been basically reduced to what the rebellion was in New Hope (it's like poetry. They rhyme). Small. Ineffective. Basically, we've had 30 years of mostly peace. Hooray for Endor!

2. Luke is traveling to a destitute nowhere planet while investigating/pursuing a mysterious figure who recently began rising up in the NO ranks, has been making gains against the Republic that should be beyond his grasp, and who he believes may have Sith-like powers.

3. Luke is killed in a confrontation on this nowhere planet at the top of the first third...maybe after passing key information to our main characters, he dies so they can escape. This establishes for us what a threat the new villain is (no pouting or Vader skulls allowed) without introducing another planet weapon. Han swings in to action when he eventually hears about it (late in the story), cameoing a bit and Millenium Falconing in the big end action sequence. Otherwise the middle story is about the nobodies who are not magic children of magic people, are being hunted by a guy who just killed Luke fucking Skywalker, and will become our next generation heroes.

It's not a particularly novel story, but it took me less than 10 minutes to think up and didn't unwrite everything...that outline is at least a movie I probably would have bothered to watch.

[LoathedVermin72]

I started typing something in response to stip, but then I remembered I'm talking to stip. And this whole maelstrom started because I engaged with stip.

Why don't I fucking learn? Things truly are cyclical.

You are no different than stip, my friend.

This is the single most offensive thing anyone has ever said to me. You should be banned for this. You should come down with a disease for saying something so hateful.

[Strat]

We should move over to something we can all agree on like how awesome the GnR Reunion will be. C'Mon onto Other Bands!

Spoiler: show

[Mecca]

I started typing something in response to stip, but then I remembered I'm talking to stip. And this whole maelstrom started because I engaged with stip.

Why don't I fucking learn? Things truly are cyclical.

You are no different than stip, my friend.

its almost like they exist on opposite ends of a spectrum, like some sort of force with a duality constantly at war with itself