Star Wars: Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)

[McParadigm]

Solid Spaceballs joke with the storm trooper turnaround.

[McParadigm]

Ha ha the "look how big it is"

[McParadigm]

I mean she legit looks like Hasslehoff

[McParadigm]

So did Poe respawn?

[McParadigm]

It is now officially too late for this to ever feel like Star Wars

[McParadigm]

I hate how much the Imperial general looks like a Weasley death eater. Christ.

[McParadigm]

Wow Finn is a real Creepio in that hug shot

[McParadigm]

Han Solo? Han Solo. Han Solo I've been waiting for this. The Han Solo. Solo Solo Solo.

[McParadigm]

It would have blown my mind if when Han was stabbed and touched Kylo's face, if he'd said "remember"

[McParadigm]

Everybody in this universe can light saber. So it's no big deal k

[McParadigm]

We left the space battle so long I forgot it was happening

[McParadigm]

People love Star Wars space explosions. Let's give this super death monster boom twice as much screen time as we gave the emotional reactions to Han's death.

[Sgt. Crackpot]

People love Star Wars space explosions. Let's give this super death monster boom twice as much screen time as we gave the emotional reactions to Han's death.

Fuck yeah

[McParadigm]

This is not a bad movie. It's just a boring one. It's in such a hurry it makes Into Darkness look like a character study

[McParadigm]

Ha ha that space map. "Oh THATS the part of the galaxy this was. Gosh we are dumb."

[LoathedVermin72]

This is not a bad movie. It's just a boring one. It's in such a hurry it makes Into Darkness look like a character study

How is it not bad?

[McParadigm]

Final report: dime, that is just a rock. It is not, as you suspected, a movie.

[McParadigm]

But Luke looks like late era Robert Plant. And that is awesome.

[dimejinky99]

Final report: dime, that is just a rock. It is not, as you suspected, a movie.

Thanks for your review McP. Really enjoyed watching that Come in.

[McParadigm]

This is not a bad movie. It's just a boring one. It's in such a hurry it makes Into Darkness look like a character study

How is it not bad?

It's a lot like the JJ Star Trek stuff: if it had "Space Fighter 2" as the title, I'd say "well, it's about as good as generic space adventure movies get now. Forgettable but with some redeeming qualities." But when you tack a title on that comes from something with subtext, characterization, humanity, and resonance, you belittle that title without gaining any of its qualities outside of the pictures and laser sounds.

JJ can still direct actors, and come up with "it'll look cool if we" stuff. But he can't tell a story or create a person to live in it to save his soul, and he couldn't tell you the thematic subtext of a piece if you had his stupid head in a Casino vice.