A Fish Called Selma vs. Mountain of Madness

[stip]

A Fish Called Selma

Chief Wiggum pulls Troy McClure over for dangerous driving. Not wishing to be required to wear his glasses while driving, Troy goes to the DMV to get his license changed to remove the requirement. He offers to take DMV employee Selma Bouvier to dinner if she lets him pass the eye test, to which she agrees. After dinner, photographers notice Troy leaving with a human woman (rumors about a sexual abnormality concerning fish had essentially destroyed Troy's career) and the story hits the news. The next day, Troy's agent, MacArthur Parker, calls and says that he can get work again if he continues seeing Selma. Troy continues to date her and his career begins to recover. On his agent's advice, Troy asks Selma to marry him; overjoyed, she agrees.

The night before the wedding, a drunk Troy tells Homer the reason for his marriage: he doesn't really love Selma, and he just plans to use her as a sham wife to help further his career. Although Homer fails to act, Marge and Patty try to explain it to Selma, who accuses them of just being envious. She confronts Troy, who shamelessly admits that their marriage is a sham. Troy explains to Selma that even though their marriage is a sham, she has everything she could want and will be "the envy of every other sham wife in town". Selma has doubts, but accepts the situation because she fears being alone. Parker thinks he can get Troy the part of McBain's sidekick in McBain IV: Fatal Discharge, but concludes he will have a better chance if he has a family. Troy and Selma try to conceive a child, but neither feels comfortable with their situation, and Selma finally leaves after deciding that bringing a child into a loveless family is wrong. Troy turns down the role of McBain's sidekick to direct and star in his own film, The Contrabulous Fabtraption of Professor Horatio

Mountain of Madness

Mr. Burns decides to hold a good old-fashioned fire drill in order to excite things up around the plant. Upon hearing the bells ring, the employees panic and fail to clear the plant within 15 minutes. Outraged, Burns declares that everyone will be subjected to a teamwork competition at Mt. Useful. Homer brings his family to the mountain, not realizing it was only for employees, so he leaves them in the visitor center. Homer ends up being partnered with Burns while Smithers has to journey on his own, fuming that he was not paired with his boss. The object of this competition is to reach a cabin at the top of the mountain; the last team to arrive will be fired.

Along the way, Burns talks Homer into cheating and they use a snowmobile (which Burns refers to as a "horseless sleigh") to reach the cabin. Arriving several hours early, they settle down in the comfortable surroundings. Burns and Homer quickly become friends. However, while clinking their champagne glasses, they inadvertently cause an avalanche that buries the entire cabin. Despite Burns's attempt to operate a telegraph machine or Homer's attempt to dig a tunnel through the snow, they remain trapped. The pair attempt further tunneling escapes, but each time they speak, they cause more avalanches that place even more snow between them and freedom. Meanwhile, Bart and Lisa meet Smithers and offer to help him proceed to the cabin, though they cause more stalling than helping.

Back in the cabin, Burns and Homer are beset by cabin fever. They build snowmen to pass the time (though Burns insists they build real men out of snow) and clothe them at the expense of their own warmth. The other employees reach what appears to be their destination; however, it is actually a ranger station and they begin to realize that something bad has happened to their colleagues. In the cabin, Homer and Burns stare at each other's eyes, filling their minds with paranoia. They are both driven mad and attempt to kill each other. After a vicious struggle, Burns ignites the cabin's propane tank, launching the building out of the snow and propelling it toward the horrified onlookers. Once it comes to a halt, Mr. Burns reminds everyone of the contest, and all the workers hurry inside.

Lenny is the last person in the cabin, and is told he is fired. Burns is informed the completion time of the competition has set a new record, and then decides that no one will be fired after all (although Lenny, who is outside and falls into a crevasse, does not know that). The episode ends with Mr. Burns and Homer alternately laughing and glaring at each other

[stip]

Mountain of Madness is probably the second best episode of seasons 8-10. You Only Move Twice is the only one that tops it, methinks.

[tragabigzanda]

AFCS. I really miss Phil Hartman's contributions to the show, and he shined bright in this one.

[Norah]

you can't change your vote in this one

[stip]

fixed - thanks

[Simple Torture]

Ohhhhh these are both very good. I think I'll go with Mountain of Madness.