Homer the Smithers vs. A Star is Burns

[stip]

Homer the Smithers

After a company night out to the Springfield drag races, Smithers fails to protect Mr. Burns from being harassed by a drunken Lenny. Though he tries to make amends the next day, Smithers again bungles his duties and attempts to drown himself in the water cooler out of guilt, so Burns suggests he take a vacation. Seeking a replacement who will not outshine him, Smithers purposely selects Homer for the job. He then proceeds to go on vacation to what appears to be a gay male resort. However, Burns soon proves to be ridiculously demanding for someone who has not devoted his life to him like Smithers had. After putting up with Mr. Burns's constant abuse for several days, Homer finally snaps and punches Burns in anger. Fearing he has killed the old man, Homer runs away in panic, and hides at home.

Homer returns to apologize but is turned away by a fearful Burns. With no one around, Burns learns to do things himself, such as making coffee and operating the telephone. Burns soon becomes completely self-reliant and thanks Homer for making him learn that he can fend for himself. Burns then fires Smithers when he returns from his vacation. Smithers tries to find other employment but eventually decides he can only be happy working for Mr. Burns. He enlists Homer in a scheme to get his job back by handling a call from Burns' mother (the one task that Burns still cannot do), but it backfires when Homer accidentally hangs up the phone and then attempts to impersonate Burns' mother. Smithers and Homer engage in a fight within Burns' office which ends when Burns accidentally falls out the window. Burns is seriously injured and becomes reliant on Smithers once again. In gratitude, Smithers sends Homer a fruit basket.

A Star is Burns

News anchor Kent Brockman reports that Springfield is the least cultural city in the United States. In response, a town meeting is held to decide a course of action, where Marge proposes that Springfield host a film festival showcasing films made by the townspeople. Marge is made the head of the festival's judging panel, and invites New York film critic Jay Sherman to be a special guest critic. Upon his arrival, Jay stays with the Simpson family, which becomes problematic as his popularity with the family makes Homer feel inadequate and overshadowed. Homer fears that nobody respects his intelligence by voicing his concerns. Marge tries to convince him that everyone does respect him, but his crude behaviour is the only thing they do not respect. Unconvinced by it, Homer persuades Marge to put him on the festival's judging panel to try to prove himself to others that he is more than unintelligent. Meanwhile, when Mr. Burns learns that his profits have dropped due to his bad image, Waylon Smithers informs him of the film festival. Burns decides that an epic biographical film will endear him to the people, so he hires Steven Spielberg's "non-union, Mexican equivalent," Señor Spielbergo to direct and deciding to play himself in the film after the auditions to have an actor portray him fail screen test.

The film festival commences at the Aztec Theatre, with entries including Apu Nahasapeemapetilon's Bright Lights, Beef Jerky (security footage from the Kwik-E-Mart), Moe Szyslak's musical number, Moe Better Booze (little more than a song-and-dance advertisement for Moe's Tavern), Bart's The Eternal Struggle (a home video of Homer attempting to squeeze into a pair of undersized pants), Ned Flanders' film about Moses (in which Todd, playing baby Moses, is dragged down a river until God saves him), and Hans Moleman's, Man Getting Hit by Football, which only features Moleman getting hit in the groin by a football. Moleman's movie makes Homer laugh, but Marge is displeased with him when she hears him announce that he should get the grand prize. Jay reminds Homer that he cannot quickly judge on one movie. Festival attendees are particularly touched by Barney Gumble's artistic introspective film about alcoholism, Pukahontas, which Jay (later a victim of football in the groin) foresees to be the eventual winner. Burns' film, A Burns for All Seasons, is screened last, and is met with a negative audience reaction. The audience jeers at Mr. Burns for it, because it is nothing more than ego driven and poorly made to try to portray him in a more positive light.

In the judge's room, Jay and Marge vote for Barney's film, while Mayor Quimby and Krusty the Clown vote for Burns' movie after many bribes and also due to being ego-driven themselves. Left with the tie-breaking vote, Homer quickly and enthusiastically votes for Man Getting Hit by Football. Marge confronts him for voting for the worst movie, even after he joined the judging panel. Homer tries to defend himself, but Jay points out there is more to life than seeing someone being hit with a football. Finally convinced to change his vote, Homer asks Marge to let him view the films again in private and she agrees. Later on, he views Pukahontas again while reflecting on the two films' qualities. Eventually, Homer sees the soul of Barney's film and makes his decision. At the awards ceremony, Jay announces that Barney is the grand prize winner, and Marge is proud of Homer for voting for the right film. During his acceptance speech Barney announces he's giving up drinking, but immediately relapses when he discovers his prize is a one year's supply of Duff beer.

Flashing forward six months, Burns is at the Academy Awards, where despite having bribed everyone in Hollywood, he loses out on an Oscar to George C. Scott in a remake of Man Getting Hit by Football. Marge laments that now is the time that Mr. Burns learn his lesson that he should not bribe everyone.

[stip]

a star is burns, but that was tough

[Simple Torture]

I like both of these, but neither are finals material (what round are we in?). Burns for now.

[stip]

Top 32 round starts after this

[Simple Torture]

Fucking christ.

[tragabigzanda]

Homer the Smithers, I guess.