Red Mosquito

Yes, regardless of who's right or wrong here Tree is being kind and compassionate and Ello is being an asshole.

You could express all of your opinions without the contempt, Ello.

B wrote:Another fair argument that I heard on the show is that it's not really your place to assume that a fat person is unhealthy (as if they asked you anyhow). Sure, obesity is a bad health indicator, but it's not a guarantee. Sometimes fat people have great cholesterol and blood pressure, and sometimes they outlive skinny people.

So keep your opinions about the health of any individual fat person to yourself.

Lol. Clown world.

skinny doesn’t mean healthy either, of course

Ello Sailor wrote:

B wrote:Another fair argument that I heard on the show is that it's not really your place to assume that a fat person is unhealthy (as if they asked you anyhow). Sure, obesity is a bad health indicator, but it's not a guarantee. Sometimes fat people have great cholesterol and blood pressure, and sometimes they outlive skinny people.

So keep your opinions about the health of any individual fat person to yourself.

This is the biggest load of horseshit I've ever heard. The "fat but fit and healthy" myth has been debunked countless times.

Outliving a "skinny" person? Does cancer run in their family? Were they a smoker? What were their co-morbidities?

My point is, at an individual level, it's none of your business, because the shit you don't know about a person's physical health, mental health, priorities, and personal decisions is more boundless than the universe.

It shouldn't be OK to treat fat people with disgust any more than it is to glare at a Black person passing you on the street, gawking at a woman's tits, or telling a Latinx person to go back to Mexico.

Good post, B, but... for some reason I don't like that term.

Rob wrote:Good post, B, but... for some reason I don't like that term.

I don't usually use it. I went back and changed it from "Hispanic" because I knew "Latinx" would piss off Burt, Bi_3, and verb.

I’m not sure I’ve heard that term

lennytheweedwhacker wrote:I’m not sure I’ve heard that term

Do you use Tumblr?

Soma's outlook is very common, but it is reductive, unhelpful, and fundamentally wrong, tantamount to telling a person with depression "just cheer up" or an alcoholic "have you considered having just one beer?". For many it's a mental health struggle, linked to mood disorders and compulsive behaviors. These are things that aren't "easy" to break out of. There's a wealth of research on this subject (not to mention a multi-billion dollar industry capitalizing on precisely how difficult it is).

Personally, I also have complicated feelings about the "fat acceptance" movement. I think being cruel to folks because of how they look is a fundamentally shitty thing done by fundamentally shitty people, but I also think that owning "FAT" as an identity to be celebrated -- when for many it's born out of harmful compulsive behaviors -- is counter-productive.

I've struggled with weight my entire life, been various degrees of overweight and obese through the years, and in all that time if you asked me to name the main source of anxiety and negative feelings in my ife... I would lie and say that it's something about my professional life. But the truth is it would be my weight. It's always there, as big or as small as I manage to get myself, as many diets or workout regimens as I submit myself to, it's the ever-present malaise that permeates every other aspect of my life. I think that's true for a lot of fat folks.

Over the years I've been able to make it manageable by focusing on my mental health, which has a sort of trickle-down effect to other aspects of life. I'm a pretty happy person these days. I work out regularly (though not as regularly as I should) and I try to eat healthy (though I still indulge myself from time to time). I'm not in the best shape of my life, but also not the worst. It's a balancing act, and it's tricky not to tip the scale (lol) in the direction of self-loathing.

washing machine wrote:This thread went exactly how I saw it going when I opened it.

and still is

Ello Sailor wrote:This is about health, not appearance.

you guys should pick one, might go somewhere.

Jorge wrote:Soma's outlook is very common, but it is reductive, unhelpful, and fundamentally wrong, tantamount to telling a person with depression "just cheer up" or an alcoholic "have you considered having just one beer?". For many it's a mental health struggle, linked to mood disorders and compulsive behaviors. These are things that aren't "easy" to break out of. There's a wealth of research on this subject (not to mention a multi-billion dollar industry capitalizing on precisely how difficult it is).

Personally, I also have complicated feelings about the "fat acceptance" movement. I think being cruel to folks because of how they look is a fundamentally shitty thing done by fundamentally shitty people, but I also think that owning "FAT" as an identity to be celebrated -- when for many it's born out of harmful compulsive behaviors -- is counter-productive.

I've struggled with weight my entire life, been various degrees of overweight and obese through the years, and in all that time if you asked me to name the main source of anxiety and negative feelings in my ife... I would lie and say that it's something about my professional life. But the truth is it would be my weight. It's always there, as big or as small as I manage to get myself, as many diets or workout regimens as I submit myself to, it's the ever-present malaise that permeates every other aspect of my life. I think that's true for a lot of fat folks.

Over the years I've been able to make it manageable by focusing on my mental health, which has a sort of trickle-down effect to other aspects of life. I'm a pretty happy person these days. I work out regularly (though not as regularly as I should) and I try to eat healthy (though I still indulge myself from time to time). I'm not in the best shape of my life, but also not the worst. It's a balancing act, and it's tricky not to tip the scale (lol) in the direction of self-loathing.

a thoughtful, personal post. instead of YOU DON'T KNOW ME. refreshing and courageous.

Yes, thank you Jorge.

I guess the acceptance part for me is simply better than the alternative. It doesn't mean you can't change, it's just seeing and accepting reality on its terms.

spike wrote:

Ello Sailor wrote:This is about health, not appearance.

you guys should pick one, might go somewhere.

Who's "you guys"? I speak for myself.

Bullying probably does work in some cases. Hard to say which tactic you should use.

Ello Sailor wrote:

spike wrote:

Ello Sailor wrote:This is about health, not appearance.

you guys should pick one, might go somewhere.

Who's "you guys"? I speak for myself.

You and Verb

Jorge wrote: For many it's a mental health struggle, linked to mood disorders and compulsive behaviors. These are things that aren't "easy" to break out of. There's a wealth of research on this subject (not to mention a multi-billion dollar industry capitalizing on precisely how difficult it is).

It was a really good post, and this seems to be the part of this issue that Ello Sailor's opinion doesn't seem to take into account. It can absolutely be a mental health issue for so many, just like with other vices.

JuanHamm wrote:Yes, regardless of who's right or wrong here Tree is being kind and compassionate and Ello is being an asshole.

You could express all of your opinions without the contempt, Ello.

My entire point is that compassion gets these people nowhere. Inconvenient truth is often interpreted as hostility by those who have an emotional response to anything that applies directly to them.