Things you have an irrational love for

[Chris_H_2]

Pistachios might be the perfect food for people in recovery. The tedious shell cracking followed by the salty nutty goodness, one after another…Just a steady cyclical drip of ritual/dopamine.

pistachio cross contamination sent my girl to the hospital about 2 months ago, you f'n monster.

[tragabigzanda]

There is a wolf in me . . . fangs pointed for tearing gashes . . . a red tongue for raw meat . . . and the hot lapping of blood—I keep this wolf because the wilderness gave it to me and the wilderness will not let it go.

There is a fox in me . . . a silver-gray fox . . . I sniff and guess . . . I pick things out of the wind and air . . . I nose in the dark night and take sleepers and eat them and hide the feathers . . . I circle and loop and double-cross.

There is a hog in me . . . a snout and a belly . . . a machinery for eating and grunting . . . a machinery for sleeping satisfied in the sun—I got this too from the wilderness and the wilderness will not let it go.

There is a fish in me . . . I know I came from salt-blue water-gates . . . I scurried with shoals of herring . . . I blew waterspouts with porpoises . . . before land was . . . before the water went down . . . before Noah . . . before the first chapter of Genesis.

There is a baboon in me . . . clambering-clawed . . . dog-faced . . . yawping a galoot's hunger . . . hairy under the armpits . . . here are the hawk-eyed hankering men . . . here are the blonde and blue-eyed women . . . here they hide curled asleep waiting . . . ready to snarl and kill . . . ready to sing and give milk . . . waiting—I keep the baboon because the wilderness says so.

There is an eagle in me and a mockingbird . . . and the eagle flies among the Rocky Mountains of my dreams and fights among the Sierra crags of what I want . . . and the mockingbird warbles in the early forenoon before the dew is gone, warbles in the underbrush of my Chattanoogas of hope, gushes over the blue Ozark foothills of my wishes—And I got the eagle and the mockingbird from the wilderness.

O, I got a zoo, I got a menagerie, inside my ribs, under my bony head, under my red-valve heart—and I got something else: it is a man-child heart, a woman-child heart: it is a father and mother and lover: it came from God-Knows-Where: it is going to God-Knows-Where—For I am the keeper of the zoo: I say yes and no: I sing and kill and work: I am a pal of the world: I came from the wilderness.

[Chris_H_2]

Pistachios might be the perfect food for people in recovery. The tedious shell cracking followed by the salty nutty goodness, one after another…Just a steady cyclical drip of ritual/dopamine.

pistachio cross contamination sent my girl to the hospital about 2 months ago, you f'n monster.

is she allergic to all nuts?

peanuts and tree nuts. she went through a trial at northwestern about 5 years ago where they got her tolerance to peanuts up. she's still allergic, but she at least she won't die if she inadvertently eats something with peanuts. but they can't get her in a trial for pistachios or cashews yet because she's still off-the-charts allergic.

[E.H. Ruddock]

Pistachios might be the perfect food for people in recovery. The tedious shell cracking followed by the salty nutty goodness, one after another…Just a steady cyclical drip of ritual/dopamine.

pistachio cross contamination sent my girl to the hospital about 2 months ago, you f'n monster.

trag is unreal

[tragabigzanda]

There is a wolf in me . . . fangs pointed for tearing gashes . . . a red tongue for raw meat . . . and the hot lapping of blood—I keep this wolf because the wilderness gave it to me and the wilderness will not let it go.

There is a fox in me . . . a silver-gray fox . . . I sniff and guess . . . I pick things out of the wind and air . . . I nose in the dark night and take sleepers and eat them and hide the feathers . . . I circle and loop and double-cross.

There is a hog in me . . . a snout and a belly . . . a machinery for eating and grunting . . . a machinery for sleeping satisfied in the sun—I got this too from the wilderness and the wilderness will not let it go.

There is a fish in me . . . I know I came from salt-blue water-gates . . . I scurried with shoals of herring . . . I blew waterspouts with porpoises . . . before land was . . . before the water went down . . . before Noah . . . before the first chapter of Genesis.

There is a baboon in me . . . clambering-clawed . . . dog-faced . . . yawping a galoot's hunger . . . hairy under the armpits . . . here are the hawk-eyed hankering men . . . here are the blonde and blue-eyed women . . . here they hide curled asleep waiting . . . ready to snarl and kill . . . ready to sing and give milk . . . waiting—I keep the baboon because the wilderness says so.

There is an eagle in me and a mockingbird . . . and the eagle flies among the Rocky Mountains of my dreams and fights among the Sierra crags of what I want . . . and the mockingbird warbles in the early forenoon before the dew is gone, warbles in the underbrush of my Chattanoogas of hope, gushes over the blue Ozark foothills of my wishes—And I got the eagle and the mockingbird from the wilderness.

O, I got a zoo, I got a menagerie, inside my ribs, under my bony head, under my red-valve heart—and I got something else: it is a man-child heart, a woman-child heart: it is a father and mother and lover: it came from God-Knows-Where: it is going to God-Knows-Where—For I am the keeper of the zoo: I say yes and no: I sing and kill and work: I am a pal of the world: I came from the wilderness.

[bodysnatcher]

Hey trag

Spoiler: show

DEEZ NUTS

*points at crotch*

[Bammer]

was gonna try to land a DEEZ NUTS punchline.

Get some material of your own, pal.

[spike]

how peyton continually addresses eli by his name on the manning cast, like he's making sure his doofus little bro is paying attention and listening.

[Jorge]

This stupid tweet

[Ms Harmless]

fat asses

[Ello Sailor]

[BurtReynolds]

Though I'm sure it will make an appearance in the irrational hate thread soon, I've been enjoying throwing this one around lately.

[tommy]

Similar to "User error" which I'm a fan of

[BurtReynolds]

Lately, I've been taking a disturbing amount of pleasure fucking with spam callers. Just the lowest forms of life on the planet. I really should stop, but then again maybe they should stop calling me.

[The Argonaut]

This stupid tweet

I know this was posted in October but I'm only seeing it now and I think it is very funny

[lennytheweedwhacker]

Lately, I've been taking a disturbing amount of pleasure fucking with spam callers. Just the lowest forms of life on the planet. I really should stop, but then again maybe they should stop calling me.

Nah you're good.

[Higgs]

Lately, I've been taking a disturbing amount of pleasure fucking with spam callers. Just the lowest forms of life on the planet. I really should stop, but then again maybe they should stop calling me.

Nah you're good.

I try to keep them talking for a while, seeing how much abuse they can take. Recently I had a dude yell back at me to "take a baseball bat, grease it up and SHOVE IT UP YOUR ASS!". I cracked up at that one, ngl.

[Rangi Guy]

Loving that the days are starting to get noticeably longer here

[lennytheweedwhacker]

Loving that the days are starting to get noticeably longer here

Going shirtless?

[Rangi Guy]

Loving that the days are starting to get noticeably longer here

Going shirtless?

Only when working out