Red Mosquito

Stickman wrote:

Lament wrote:

Stickman wrote:

Every time I see this picture pop up, my day sucks a little bit less.

Peeps wrote:

Dear Stranger,

I did it. I farted in Trader Joe’s and denied it. I was rude to you and I’m ashamed of my behavior. In my defense, you have to consider that I, too, was oxygen deprived as I had to hold my breath so I wouldn’t pass out. But then, once my head cleared and the dizziness went away, I wasn’t even sure if it really happened. I thought you were just a dream. A devastatingly handsome man shopping alone at Trader Joe’s? Buying fresh Cibatta? It couldn’t be real, could it?

Man, that toot was rank, huh? RANK. I don’t remember eating that, whatever that was. And you know what else? It was HOT. I mean, seriously, I thought I shit myself the heat was so intense. Those kind of farts really do linger, so for that I am truly sorry. The thing is, I knew people were close to me, yet I didn’t even think to hold it in until I made it to an empty aisle. I’m just the worst kind of person.

First of all, I want to say this: Your note makes my heart sing. What a sweet man you must be so see past my rotten ass and focus on my physical beauty. The fact that you found forgiveness in your heart after the way I treated you? Amazing. I’m touched. I wish the world had more people like you in it.

The bad news for both of us I think, because from what I can tell, we’d make a really good couple, is that I am married. Happily. Almost 20 years now, to a guy who also forgives me when I stink up the place so fierce that his eyes water and he throws up a little bit in his mouth.

However, I want to keep in touch if that’s okay with you. I understand if you don’t, now that you know that I farted on purpose with careless disregard for my fellow human beings. So, please let me know if you want to be pen-pals or something. I don’t mean to sound cold-hearted, but my husband could drop dead at any time, and I’d hate to think you were out there, making delicious sandwiches on fresh Cibatta bread and riding Clydesdales alone, when we could be together.

Love and Rockets,

Nikki

cutuphalfdead wrote:where just feet?

Simple Torture wrote:

cutuphalfdead wrote:where just feet?

There.

durdencommatyler wrote:

Simple Torture wrote:

cutuphalfdead wrote:where just feet?

There.

Why are you talking like that?

durdencommatyler wrote:

durdencommatyler wrote:

Simple Torture wrote:

cutuphalfdead wrote:where just feet?

There.

Why are you talking like that?

I thought you wanted to!

durdencommatyler wrote:

durdencommatyler wrote:

durdencommatyler wrote:

Simple Torture wrote:

cutuphalfdead wrote:where just feet?

There.

Why are you talking like that?

I thought you wanted to!

No, I don't want to.