Red Mosquito

In my dream I went to visit my ex girlfriend in her native Canada. We're still friends so it was nice to see her. For some reason in the dream she was good friends with Phoebe Bridgers and arranged for Phoebe to play a private show for us, so we met Phoebe who drove us to her apartment. Phoebe lived in a gorgeous penthouse with very luxurious furniture and a kind of olive green color palette. I remember in the dream trying to make sure my banter was up to snuff. We talked about whether Clueless qualifies as a romantic comedy. I woke up before the concert.

Terrible night's sleep, capped off with a nightmare:

Me and my dad were going to a movie in an old dirt mall that in real life hasn't been open in 25 years, but is open and thriving in my dream. Anyway, we go to watch a movie starring Christian Bale and I notice that the crowd we are with is acting very strangely. They are giddy. Some are literally shaking with excitement. Anyway we go into the theatre and Bale himself is in there, but he's this cult leader, and the audience are initiates.

Bale is a real asshole here. He executes one guy as an example, then shoots another guy for coughing, then finishes him off when he moans in pain. Another guy tries to run but is killed. He has another initiate kill his own kid, but then he shoots the initiate for hesitating too long. I'm trying to play it cool and blend in so I don't get murdered, but soon realize that the increasingly annoyed and unstable Christian Bale is just going to kill everyone.

At some point, one of the initiates has had enough and shoots Bale in the stomach. Bale orders the guards to kill everyone, but some of the initiates are armed, so a general bloodbath ensues. Me and my dad take guns from two of the guards and we start trying to blast our way out of there. People getting murdered all over the place. Men, women, and children all die in droves. No one has any pity or remorse. Gore levels are off the charts. This dream is hard R.

Eventually a ceasefire is called as Bale, who is bleeding to death, agrees to let us go to the surface (I guess we are underground now). We leave, but as we reach the surface, a bunch of SUVs pull up and these guys dressed in black with silver masks get out. We realize that they are Bale's elite cultists and they are about to fuck shit up. They don't do anything at first and just start mingling with the crowd. My dad tells me that we should get as far away from all these people, so we start to make our way out of the area. Sure enough, the elite guys start snapping necks and shooting people, and another gunfight breaks out. We shoot a few of them since they weren't focused on us.

I find that I can basically kill anything I shoot at, so I'm shooting cultists left and right in an attempt to save myself and others. Sometimes I'm able to get someone to safety, but other times the sheer number of cultists are so great that everyone gets killed anyway and I am only lucky to save my own ass. By now, other people have joined in and bullets and blood fly all around.

A motorcycle gang of all women in pink and blue Power Ranger outfits show up. Are they the good guys? Nope, just more crazy bloodthristy cultists. These have a particular desire to kill any women they can find, including each other, but they are fine killing men as well. New levels of death and violence are reached. I am covered in blood.

By now, I've become fucking John Wick, and also I found a handgun that shoots exploding bullets, so I'm making heads and limbs explode in fountains of blood and gore. But no matter how many I kill, still more pour in.

This is no longer a crazy cult scenario, but more like The Purge mixed with a fast zombie outbreak. Everyone is just trying to kill everyone else, giving little thought to their own safety.

We cut to a newsfeed in Seattle, where a reporter lying in his own blood and filth says that people should avoid the interstate, because the violence shouldn't interfere with the construction going on there. This guy is still out there giving traffic reports. Then someone walks over to him and blows half his face off. I realize that this has become global.

I've become more animal than man. I'm crawling over and under piles of bodies in an attempt to escape, killing anything that gets in my way.

Then I wake up. I assume someone finally headshotted me and I've awakened here in the next world.

That’s wild.

Thinking about it, I’m not sure I’ve ever actually killed anybody in a dream.

I think it was a metaphor for climate change.

Also I was thinking last night about how I'd never watched a Purge movie, so I guess my subconscious made one for me.

I woke up a bunch the last three hours or so and the majority of the times I was in the middle of some weird ones. I don’t remember any details, but I remember thinking each time that was some crazy shit going on.

Bruce Willis starred in a series of goofy, low-budget comedy movies based around the character of Nerdnep, a bumbling, incompetent scout leader.

rip

I was dating a famous actress (not anyone who actually exists, more like a composite) and she introduced me to her family. I got to know her siblings, including her baby brother who was like 9 months old. One day I discovered that her baby brother was actually two different babies, a boy and a girl, who they were raising as a single baby. They wanted both babies to have one same shared identity, they would just take turns being the same person. I was like "that's nuts. Why would you do that? What if the girl baby wants to be her own person one day? You can't do that!" And as a result the actress and her whole family suddenly turned on me and started leaving threatening messages for me everywhere, stalking me at work, and telling me that if I said a word to the press they would kill me!

Goodnight, Jorge.

RIP Jorge

You messed with the wrong family.

I was working at WalMart. Don’t know if I was still there or if I left and came back or even what period of my life it was. I was (still?) in management. My coat and gloves kept going missing. I’d wear them to work, then when it was time to go home, they weren’t where I left them. So one day when I went to work without them, I found them piled up in an employee’s things. The employee is a guy that used to work for my wife in a business she ran IRL so it was actually someone I knew. He never worked for WM while I was there IRL. So this guy has my coat and gloves. And he had gotten white paint all over them. And the outer, leathery part of one of the gloves was missing from the thumb and part of the back of the hand. Well he was sitting there amongst “his” belongings and when I found my missing things there with him, I absolutely just lit into him. Just berated him so all the employees and whoever else was around to see and hear. After belittling him and getting my items back, I immediately go to one of the computers to research the employee handbook to find out if I can fire this guy. And I wake up.

I let the dogs out and go pee while I’m thinking about this dream and my first response is what an asshole I was to the guy. Apparently it was cold enough in my dream for me to be wearing a coat (something I very rarely do IRL) and what if he or a family member didn’t have one? Or gloves? And he or they actually needed them? So I let the dogs back in and go back to bed with the thoughts of what an asshole I am.

I was participating in some sort of reality show or internet video where the idea was to have a bunch of people representing different religious beliefs sitting at a table and talking shit out. All the usual suspects were there including this one guy representing Satanism. I was there representing agnosticism. At first the Satanist guy and I were tight, we'd back each other up in multiple arguments. But then when I expressed a support for Laveyan Satanism (which basically takes Satan as a symbol of rebellion rather than an actual literal being), the guy totally turned on me. He was like "that's pussy shit" (actual quote from the dream) and started to talk about how Satan is actually real and how Laveyan Satanists were phonies. He produced a book called The Book of Satan which was made of mud and started to read all these Satanic incantations and he turned into this goat demon creature. He was like "how's this for Laveyan Satanism, bitch". He freaked me the fuck out

I don’t think anything can top a mud book.

Hell yeah great dream

I had two dreams:

One: I decided to move to a place called Shadow Bridge, but I think it was just Lake Charles, Louisiana. It was part of my scheme to slowly move back out west. But I could only take a few things because I had to fit them on top of this tractor-like machine I was driving. I had my things stacked on top of it in a comically precarious way, including my dog. I had to drive it by sitting on the hood, facing backwards and steering the vehicle through the window, which I was doing very badly. I was on an impossibly complex interstate highway and I kept missing my turns and ended up rolling down into a neighborhood on the coast.

Dream two: I was sitting on a screened in porch in the golden hour of the evening. There were birds that looked like normal birds birds except they had tropical parrot colors and hovered in air like hummingbirds. They kept sticking the tips of their breaks through the screen and licking at it with their tongues, which amused me greatly. Then a couple of moose wandered by. A third moose pushed it's head in behind me and nudged my shoulder, so I patted him on the nose and head. All in all it was a nice dream.

Had a dream where I watched a realistic fantasy movie called Periwinkle Blue, starring Peter Dinklage. Dinklage played the titular Periwinkle, a regular sized guy. They made him appear regular sized by stretching him out vertically. So the movie was a lot of normal looking people and a weirdly stretched Peter Dinklage. I was like, "the special effects in this movie suck". That's all I remember.

I also had a dream where a bunch of dogs kept getting out and running across the highway, and I had to keep running around trying to gather them all up before someone hit them.

And another dream where I worked at a mechanic shop and some guy asked me if we could get to his truck in the next 5 minutes, and I said no way. He was disappointed but understood, as we were very busy. Also, I know nothing about fixing cars.

Been having a lot of dreams about spiders. Not really scary dreams. But they are there. What mean?

You wish you had 8 legs

I think the OTC sinus meds i took last night gave me a fucked up nightmare. I was being stalked by a guy at this opera/gala. He would randomly attack me by tackling me and trying to choke me. But he was very good looking and i the whole thing was very homoerotic. Any bystanders would just stand there and not do anything. In the end it was very frightening because he cornered me and had a gun. He said “I’ve been waiting for this for a long time” and appeared to pull the trigger but i woke up. Wtf.