Red Mosquito

"Hey you know what kids today want? a sexy mummy movie."

Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Nick fury.

Wait Cruise and Generic Blond have some kind of history? Or chemistry? I can't tell.

Why is Tommy Cruiser the Chosen One again?

This is just boring.

Tom Cruise running from smoke! Yayyyyyy!

Still waiting for something that isn't in a dozen other better movies.

What did you find so crazy about this LV? It's just generic Hollywood crap, only worse.

Oh no! Generic Blonde is in trouble! I don't think even Tom Cruise cares.

Lol tongue lick sound effect.

Even the effects are boring and terrible. You can tell it's low on budget.

No Tommy! Don't save Generic Blonde!

So your big summer blockbuster climax was... That? That's it?

Where's the rest of the movie?

Ha ha he has mummy bandages.

I think it was a comedy, but without comedy. Or an action movie without much action, or a horror movie with no horror... I don't know what this was.

The most notable thing I can say about it is that it was a summer popcorn movie with no spectacle. I guess we were supposed to be impressed by the characters or story. But they forgot to add those parts I guess.

Tom Cruise's agent was like "you're gonna be the Iron Man of the Dark Universe!"

I seriously think they were trying to pass off Tom as 20-something. I mean, he looks great, but when Russell Crowe referred to him as "young man" (or something like that), I laughed out loud, since Crowe is a year younger.