Red Mosquito

epilogue wrote:

Ms Harmless wrote:

Rob wrote:Wouldn't most of us be naturally inclined toward a polyamorous lifestyle, but then many of us commit to one person for a variety of reasons (and of course it's fine if you choose not to)?

yeah, I think that's correct

I think it's far more likely that modern society and culture imposed monogamy on people than the other way around; it's certainly not the default setting in the animal kingdom (though it exists, obvs)

Well said.

if it becomes a good idea to be in a monogamous relationship again later in life (I can't see it, but whatever) then I'll do that

ultimately, I'm just a person who tries to just do what feels like the best idea for me at the time

oh boy

And this is how we get to 100 pages.

But a question for the RM community: at what point should mods move this conversation to a different thread/forum? Because we clearly aren't talking about anything that happened at the Oscars this year anymore.

Best to leave it here and let it rip? Or should this move to a different forum?

tree_ wrote:

Ms Harmless wrote:

tree_ wrote:

Ms Harmless wrote:

tree_ wrote:Also, if you don't naturally have the urge to murder people, but somehow through some glitch in the matrix you find yourself having murdered somebody, you're still a murderer

that's because "murder" is a verb

"polyamory" is a noun, it describes a state of (individual or communal) being

It only comes to be as a status once an act has been executed. A desire to do something does make a person one who does the thing. Murderer is a noun.

it's not even "the desire to do a thing"

you don't have to DO anything to be gay, and you don't have to DO anything to be polyamorous

Being gay does not require an act; it is an orientation of sexual attraction. Polyamory by definition is a practice.

that doesn't just become true because of your feelings, Tree

polygamy is a practice, because it's a form of marriage

epilogue wrote:

Rob wrote:Wouldn't most of us be naturally inclined toward a polyamorous lifestyle, but then many of us commit to one person for a variety of reasons (and of course it's fine if you choose not to)?

I have no research or data to support my opinion, but I think you're probably right. I will say that I have always tended toward and preferred monogamy, however. I am not naturally inclined toward polyamory. Though I certainly have zero judgement about it. Just my own personal taste.

Right. All I mean is that yes, I think we are inclined to be attracted to multiple people at once, and have all those urges and whatnot. If you want that and can make it work, more power to ya. I'm not sure that monogamy is necessarily imposed on us, though, because it's easy to see how monogamy can be beneficial too. I think many (including myself) prefer monogamy for a variety of reasons.

Ms Harmless wrote:

tree_ wrote:

Ms Harmless wrote:

tree_ wrote:

Ms Harmless wrote:

tree_ wrote:Also, if you don't naturally have the urge to murder people, but somehow through some glitch in the matrix you find yourself having murdered somebody, you're still a murderer

that's because "murder" is a verb

"polyamory" is a noun, it describes a state of (individual or communal) being

It only comes to be as a status once an act has been executed. A desire to do something does make a person one who does the thing. Murderer is a noun.

it's not even "the desire to do a thing"

you don't have to DO anything to be gay, and you don't have to DO anything to be polyamorous

Being gay does not require an act; it is an orientation of sexual attraction. Polyamory by definition is a practice.

that doesn't just become true because of your feelings, Tree

polygamy is a practice, because it's a form of marriage

I don't have feelings about the subject. I'm just going by the definitions of words.

tree_ wrote:

Ms Harmless wrote:

tree_ wrote:

Ms Harmless wrote:

tree_ wrote:

Ms Harmless wrote:

tree_ wrote:Also, if you don't naturally have the urge to murder people, but somehow through some glitch in the matrix you find yourself having murdered somebody, you're still a murderer

that's because "murder" is a verb

"polyamory" is a noun, it describes a state of (individual or communal) being

It only comes to be as a status once an act has been executed. A desire to do something does make a person one who does the thing. Murderer is a noun.

it's not even "the desire to do a thing"

you don't have to DO anything to be gay, and you don't have to DO anything to be polyamorous

Being gay does not require an act; it is an orientation of sexual attraction. Polyamory by definition is a practice.

that doesn't just become true because of your feelings, Tree

polygamy is a practice, because it's a form of marriage

I don't have feelings about the subject. I'm just going by the definitions of words.

pol·y·am·o·ry
/ˌpälēˈamərē/
Learn to pronounce
noun
the practice of engaging in multiple romantic (and typically sexual) relationships, with the consent of all the people involved.

po·lyg·a·mous
/pəˈliɡəməs/
Learn to pronounce
adjective
practicing, relating to, or involving polygamy.

polyamory sounds exhausting

I just want to say that murder is also a noun

Rob wrote:

epilogue wrote:

Rob wrote:Wouldn't most of us be naturally inclined toward a polyamorous lifestyle, but then many of us commit to one person for a variety of reasons (and of course it's fine if you choose not to)?

I have no research or data to support my opinion, but I think you're probably right. I will say that I have always tended toward and preferred monogamy, however. I am not naturally inclined toward polyamory. Though I certainly have zero judgement about it. Just my own personal taste.

Right. All I mean is that yes, I think we are inclined to be attracted to multiple people at once, and have all those urges and whatnot. If you want that and can make it work, more power to ya. I'm not sure that monogamy is necessarily imposed on us, though, because it's easy to see how monogamy can be beneficial too. I think many (including myself) prefer monogamy for a variety of reasons.

Oh sure. I do think that the structural systemic concept of monogamy is very much imposed on us -- based in the most part on bullshit religious preference/ideologies. But I agree that's not the whole story as you and I have both addressed.

epilogue wrote:But a question for the RM community: at what point should mods move this conversation to a different thread/forum? Because we clearly aren't talking about anything that happened at the Oscars this year anymore.

Best to leave it here and let it rip? Or should this move to a different forum?

It's related to The Smiths and what went down at the Oscars

So +1 for leave it alone

My personal views are: I could care less what society imposes on me. My wife and I chose monogamy because we think it is best for us and our family. I don't care what anyone else does with their sex lives. More power to them if they are happy. Or unhappy. Their choice; don't care.

Jorge wrote:I just want to say that murder is also a noun

OK yeah, that's true; you're a murderer if you've done a murder

I'm just saying you're not polyamorous because you've done a polyamor

epilogue wrote:But a question for the RM community: at what point should mods move this conversation to a different thread/forum? Because we clearly aren't talking about anything that happened at the Oscars this year anymore.

Best to leave it here and let it rip? Or should this move to a different forum?

If you move this thread I will kill myself.

Ms Harmless wrote:

Jorge wrote:I just want to say that murder is also a noun

OK yeah, that's true; you're a murderer if you've done a murder

I'm just saying you're not polyamorous because you've done a polyamor

So you're saying I'm polyamorous because I've had the desire to have sexual intercourse with another person while married, whether or not I've acted upon this desire?

I hate to say it but this thread needs to read some Foucault