Red Mosquito

epilogue wrote:You know, it's interesting... I say that I'm monogamous. And I believe that. But.... if my wife came to me tomorrow and said that she wanted to be polyamorous, or that she'd found a partner who could give her something she felt she couldn't get from me, I would actually be open to the idea of her having multiple partners. There are obviously a ton of caveats here and considerations. But I'm not out-of-the-box opposed to it. And we've talked about this out loud. So... This is a fascinating conversation to me.

I would not want to lose my wife on that basis. This is all so complicated. And really interesting to me. And just goes to show how much societal pressures affect us even when we think they don't.

Ms Harmless wrote:

epilogue wrote:You know, it's interesting... I say that I'm monogamous. And I believe that. But.... if my wife came to me tomorrow and said that she wanted to be polyamorous, or that she'd found a partner who could give her something she felt she couldn't get from me, I would actually be open to the idea of her having multiple partners. There are obviously a ton of caveats here and considerations. But I'm not out-of-the-box opposed to it. And we've talked about this out loud. So... This is a fascinating conversation to me.

I would not want to lose my wife on that basis. This is all so complicated. And really interesting to me. And just goes to show how much societal pressures affect us even when we think they don't.

this is cool exciting stuff epilogue lmk if you ever want to chat about it further

Ms Harmless wrote:

tree_ wrote:So, are you telling me that I could identify as a murderer without ever actually attempting to murder anyone?

that's an interesting question given the number of people who'd say someone with a criminal desire should already be condemned as a criminal

but in any case, again, is it OK to murder? no

is it OK to "go outside a monogamous relationship"? potentially, yes, let's talk about baby

tree_ wrote:

Ms Harmless wrote:

tree_ wrote:So, are you telling me that I could identify as a murderer without ever actually attempting to murder anyone?

that's an interesting question given the number of people who'd say someone with a criminal desire should already be condemned as a criminal

but in any case, again, is it OK to murder? no

is it OK to "go outside a monogamous relationship"? potentially, yes, let's talk about baby

Morality aside, could one correctly, technically identify as someone who does certain things who doesn’t actually do those things?

tree_ wrote:

Ms Harmless wrote:

tree_ wrote:So, are you telling me that I could identify as a murderer without ever actually attempting to murder anyone?

that's an interesting question given the number of people who'd say someone with a criminal desire should already be condemned as a criminal

but in any case, again, is it OK to murder? no

is it OK to "go outside a monogamous relationship"? potentially, yes, let's talk about baby

Morality aside, could one correctly, technically identify as someone who does certain things who doesn’t actually do those things?

Ms Harmless wrote:ultimately, I'm just a person who tries to just do what feels like the best idea for me at the time

epilogue wrote:

tree_ wrote:

Ms Harmless wrote:

tree_ wrote:So, are you telling me that I could identify as a murderer without ever actually attempting to murder anyone?

that's an interesting question given the number of people who'd say someone with a criminal desire should already be condemned as a criminal

but in any case, again, is it OK to murder? no

is it OK to "go outside a monogamous relationship"? potentially, yes, let's talk about baby

Morality aside, could one correctly, technically identify as someone who does certain things who doesn’t actually do those things?

I certainly will not speak for Ms. H but if y'all will allow an outside opinion here, I will say... yes. There are countless gay/lesbian identifying people who, for a variety of reasons, do not act on being gay/lesbian. But that's different than "murderer" which is the example you keep bringing up.

One can imagine killing a person and never kill a person. This person is not and should not be defined as a murderer. However, a person can be gay and not act on being gay. That person is still gay. So it's not a 1 to 1 comparison. The differential should be obvious.

Jorge wrote:I just want to say that murder is also a noun

tree_ wrote:so what's this stuff about being "naturally polygamous" then? Because surely some of us are "naturally murderers", but not actual murderers

epilogue wrote:

tree_ wrote:

Ms Harmless wrote:

tree_ wrote:So, are you telling me that I could identify as a murderer without ever actually attempting to murder anyone?

that's an interesting question given the number of people who'd say someone with a criminal desire should already be condemned as a criminal

but in any case, again, is it OK to murder? no

is it OK to "go outside a monogamous relationship"? potentially, yes, let's talk about baby

Morality aside, could one correctly, technically identify as someone who does certain things who doesn’t actually do those things?

I certainly will not speak for Ms. H but if y'all will allow an outside opinion here, I will say... yes. There are countless gay/lesbian identifying people who, for a variety of reasons, do not act on being gay/lesbian. But that's different than "murderer" which is the example you keep bringing up.

One can imagine killing a person and never kill a person. This person is not and should not be defined as a murderer. However, a person can be gay and not act on being gay. That person is still gay. So it's not a 1 to 1 comparison. The differential should be obvious.

tree_ wrote:so what's this stuff about being "naturally polygamous" then? Because surely some of us are "naturally murderers", but not actual murderers

epilogue wrote:

tree_ wrote:

Ms Harmless wrote:

tree_ wrote:So, are you telling me that I could identify as a murderer without ever actually attempting to murder anyone?

that's an interesting question given the number of people who'd say someone with a criminal desire should already be condemned as a criminal

but in any case, again, is it OK to murder? no

is it OK to "go outside a monogamous relationship"? potentially, yes, let's talk about baby

Morality aside, could one correctly, technically identify as someone who does certain things who doesn’t actually do those things?

I certainly will not speak for Ms. H but if y'all will allow an outside opinion here, I will say... yes. There are countless gay/lesbian identifying people who, for a variety of reasons, do not act on being gay/lesbian. But that's different than "murderer" which is the example you keep bringing up.

One can imagine killing a person and never kill a person. This person is not and should not be defined as a murderer. However, a person can be gay and not act on being gay. That person is still gay. So it's not a 1 to 1 comparison. The differential should be obvious.

tree_ wrote:

epilogue wrote:

tree_ wrote:

Ms Harmless wrote:

tree_ wrote:So, are you telling me that I could identify as a murderer without ever actually attempting to murder anyone?

that's an interesting question given the number of people who'd say someone with a criminal desire should already be condemned as a criminal

but in any case, again, is it OK to murder? no

is it OK to "go outside a monogamous relationship"? potentially, yes, let's talk about baby

Morality aside, could one correctly, technically identify as someone who does certain things who doesn’t actually do those things?

I certainly will not speak for Ms. H but if y'all will allow an outside opinion here, I will say... yes. There are countless gay/lesbian identifying people who, for a variety of reasons, do not act on being gay/lesbian. But that's different than "murderer" which is the example you keep bringing up.

One can imagine killing a person and never kill a person. This person is not and should not be defined as a murderer. However, a person can be gay and not act on being gay. That person is still gay. So it's not a 1 to 1 comparison. The differential should be obvious.

OK, there's a difference here. Being gay is possessing desire for sex with people of your own sex. No act is necessary. Being a murderer is possessing the status of having actually killed somebody. Do you see?

tree_ wrote:

epilogue wrote:

tree_ wrote:

Ms Harmless wrote:

tree_ wrote:So, are you telling me that I could identify as a murderer without ever actually attempting to murder anyone?

that's an interesting question given the number of people who'd say someone with a criminal desire should already be condemned as a criminal

but in any case, again, is it OK to murder? no

is it OK to "go outside a monogamous relationship"? potentially, yes, let's talk about baby

Morality aside, could one correctly, technically identify as someone who does certain things who doesn’t actually do those things?

I certainly will not speak for Ms. H but if y'all will allow an outside opinion here, I will say... yes. There are countless gay/lesbian identifying people who, for a variety of reasons, do not act on being gay/lesbian. But that's different than "murderer" which is the example you keep bringing up.

One can imagine killing a person and never kill a person. This person is not and should not be defined as a murderer. However, a person can be gay and not act on being gay. That person is still gay. So it's not a 1 to 1 comparison. The differential should be obvious.

OK, there's a difference here. Being gay is possessing desire for sex with people of your own sex. No act is necessary. Being a murderer is possessing the status of having actually killed somebody. Do you see?

Ms Harmless wrote:

tree_ wrote:

epilogue wrote:

tree_ wrote:

Ms Harmless wrote:

tree_ wrote:So, are you telling me that I could identify as a murderer without ever actually attempting to murder anyone?

that's an interesting question given the number of people who'd say someone with a criminal desire should already be condemned as a criminal

but in any case, again, is it OK to murder? no

is it OK to "go outside a monogamous relationship"? potentially, yes, let's talk about baby

Morality aside, could one correctly, technically identify as someone who does certain things who doesn’t actually do those things?

I certainly will not speak for Ms. H but if y'all will allow an outside opinion here, I will say... yes. There are countless gay/lesbian identifying people who, for a variety of reasons, do not act on being gay/lesbian. But that's different than "murderer" which is the example you keep bringing up.

One can imagine killing a person and never kill a person. This person is not and should not be defined as a murderer. However, a person can be gay and not act on being gay. That person is still gay. So it's not a 1 to 1 comparison. The differential should be obvious.

OK, there's a difference here. Being gay is possessing desire for sex with people of your own sex. No act is necessary. Being a murderer is possessing the status of having actually killed somebody. Do you see?

so why compare polyamorous to murderer any more than gay? you're doing it because of your personal feelings about what it is, or would be to you, to be polyamorous

tree_ wrote:

epilogue wrote:

tree_ wrote:

Ms Harmless wrote:

tree_ wrote:So, are you telling me that I could identify as a murderer without ever actually attempting to murder anyone?

that's an interesting question given the number of people who'd say someone with a criminal desire should already be condemned as a criminal

but in any case, again, is it OK to murder? no

is it OK to "go outside a monogamous relationship"? potentially, yes, let's talk about baby

Morality aside, could one correctly, technically identify as someone who does certain things who doesn’t actually do those things?

I certainly will not speak for Ms. H but if y'all will allow an outside opinion here, I will say... yes. There are countless gay/lesbian identifying people who, for a variety of reasons, do not act on being gay/lesbian. But that's different than "murderer" which is the example you keep bringing up.

One can imagine killing a person and never kill a person. This person is not and should not be defined as a murderer. However, a person can be gay and not act on being gay. That person is still gay. So it's not a 1 to 1 comparison. The differential should be obvious.

Oops. I agree with this. I'm trying to figure out how someone can say they are polyamorous or polygamous without actually committing the act

tree_ wrote:

Ms Harmless wrote:

tree_ wrote:

epilogue wrote:

tree_ wrote:

Ms Harmless wrote:

tree_ wrote:So, are you telling me that I could identify as a murderer without ever actually attempting to murder anyone?

that's an interesting question given the number of people who'd say someone with a criminal desire should already be condemned as a criminal

but in any case, again, is it OK to murder? no

is it OK to "go outside a monogamous relationship"? potentially, yes, let's talk about baby

Morality aside, could one correctly, technically identify as someone who does certain things who doesn’t actually do those things?

I certainly will not speak for Ms. H but if y'all will allow an outside opinion here, I will say... yes. There are countless gay/lesbian identifying people who, for a variety of reasons, do not act on being gay/lesbian. But that's different than "murderer" which is the example you keep bringing up.

One can imagine killing a person and never kill a person. This person is not and should not be defined as a murderer. However, a person can be gay and not act on being gay. That person is still gay. So it's not a 1 to 1 comparison. The differential should be obvious.

OK, there's a difference here. Being gay is possessing desire for sex with people of your own sex. No act is necessary. Being a murderer is possessing the status of having actually killed somebody. Do you see?

so why compare polyamorous to murderer any more than gay? you're doing it because of your personal feelings about what it is, or would be to you, to be polyamorous

Again, morally, I have no qualms. I'm trying to figure out what the words actually mean.