Red Mosquito

bodysnatcher wrote:i love those dumps you take where you just feel really good afterward. not just your gut or your butt, but your entire being. your soul is lighter and sees clearer. you're floating somewhere in the heavens.

I had one the ones this morning that makes you feel like you just ran a 4 minute mile and can't catch your breath

spike wrote:I spiked my coffee with Miralax this morning. Time to get shit done.

I can't believe you would stoop so low as to take PEDs (poo enhancing drugs)

You should be banned from the thread.

doug rr wrote:

bodysnatcher wrote:i love those dumps you take where you just feel really good afterward. not just your gut or your butt, but your entire being. your soul is lighter and sees clearer. you're floating somewhere in the heavens.

I had one the ones this morning that makes you feel like you just ran a 4 minute mile and can't catch your breath

LOL

JuanHamm wrote:

spike wrote:I spiked my coffee with Miralax this morning. Time to get shit done.

I can't believe you would stoop so low as to take PEDs (poo enhancing drugs)

You should be banned from the thread.

All I care about are results.

spike wrote:

JuanHamm wrote:

spike wrote:I spiked my coffee with Miralax this morning. Time to get shit done.

I can't believe you would stoop so low as to take PEDs (poo enhancing drugs)

You should be banned from the thread.

All I care about are results.

Miralax is a PED, but he's doing it for health reasons. I'd grant him a waiver, but softly remind everyone about the dangers of drug abuse.

In that spirit, I had a sour stomach last week and took some antacids.

Coach wrote:

spike wrote:

JuanHamm wrote:

spike wrote:I spiked my coffee with Miralax this morning. Time to get shit done.

I can't believe you would stoop so low as to take PEDs (poo enhancing drugs)

You should be banned from the thread.

All I care about are results.

Miralax is a PED, but he's doing it for health reasons. I'd grant him a waiver, but softly remind everyone about the dangers of drug abuse.

Ok Coach Selig

JuanHamm wrote:

Coach wrote:

spike wrote:

JuanHamm wrote:

spike wrote:I spiked my coffee with Miralax this morning. Time to get shit done.

I can't believe you would stoop so low as to take PEDs (poo enhancing drugs)

You should be banned from the thread.

All I care about are results.

Miralax is a PED, but he's doing it for health reasons. I'd grant him a waiver, but softly remind everyone about the dangers of drug abuse.

Ok Coach Selig

I think ours is a sport where some drug use is acceptable. Not for gains. But just to "get right" again.

This has never been a competition.

I don't view us as competing against each other.
We are really just trying to improve our bowel movements. We are competing against ourselves and our personal bests.

I’m competing against gut rot.

Well it's good to see you asking for helping and taking charge of the situation.

Maybe a PED fueled rivalry would be good for the thread.

Sammy Sospike vs Barry Bondysnatcher

We could do a Home-Dump Derby.

I'm proud that I don't need stuff like Imodium AD, but I don't have a problem with other people using it.

at the end of the day, your body is going to do what it's going to do

Amen

Today, I was on a helicopter ride during a sightseeing tour when I suddenly had to go to the bathroom. Unfortunately, there was no bathroom available on board, so I had to improvise.

I explained my situation to the pilot and he radioed to the control tower for permission to make an emergency landing. However, before we could even touch down, we flew into the middle of a tornado.

The turbulence was intense and the helicopter was shaking violently. I was hanging onto my seat for dear life, trying to keep my composure while also trying to hold in my bodily functions.

As the wind howled and the helicopter spun around, I realized that I couldn't hold it any longer. I quickly scanned the small cabin, hoping to find some sort of solution. However, there was nothing that could help me.

In a moment of desperation, I had no other choice but to do it right there on the floor of the helicopter. It was an embarrassing and uncomfortable situation, but I had no other choice.

As soon as we landed, I was ushered off the helicopter by the pilot and the other passengers. I was left to clean up my mess while the rest of the group continued their tour.

Although it was a humiliating experience, it taught me the importance of being prepared for unexpected situations and always having a backup plan. From now on, I will make sure to never leave home without a proper plan in place for any potential emergencies.

These are good AI stories, but real tales from the bathroom would be even better.

Yeah I don’t want to read about what a robot thinks taking a dump is like. I need real experiences.