I definitely agree with that part. And i've never thought he didn't want to be successful/ play for a lot of people or bought into that eddie was just chilling on a beach until the universe gave him a band angle. I think i've just given him a pass for stupid shit said in 92 and prior cause they didn't know how big they'd get. Like i don't think he wrote alive cause he thought oh yeah people will eat up this angst, for all he knew no one would ever hear it.LetMeSleep wrote:From memory (and I haven't got my copy of 5AOne nearby), Ed was involved in High School plays and musicals so he was not just talented but was seeking the stage (and attention??). He certainly was aware of how he was being perceived and ramped it up throughout 92. He also suffered from self doubt (IMO) and felt he didn't earn the acclaim/stardom/record sales. He felt he didn't pay his dues. Thus the whole touring in a van when everyone else got a plane. That was just stupid behaviour from a petulant shit. That's disrespectful to everyone else who is in the business of touring as he risked all kinds of fates (sickness, burnout etc).
And the stuff in the book i was refering too was the stuff about him getting into physical fights apparently with his parents, er allegedly, and shit like that. All i was saying was that it was possible he was actually still getting over that stuff, He doesn't come off as particularly well adjusted. Though i guess i should remember that the book could be entirely bullshit, and you barely get an actual conversation with eddie in it, only interviews and on stage snippets, but still.
It's always this that i've had a problem with reallyLetMeSleep wrote:I just feel Ed was too self aware and was smart enough to play those particular angles through the press. And then he needed to escape it all.
it's not that i think ed's stupid, but you hear him talk or read an old interview and i always think is he hearing himself say this crap? There's some 93/94 ones that are a mess, especially anything to do with cobain dying. Theres one where he starts talking about how pissed he is that his mom spoke to some radio station. I can't bring myself to believe he planned that shit. If he was playing up to the press he was really awful at it/ unsubtle with it. Or he is stupid and has a completely weird idea of what is going to sound 'cool' for an interview. And the interviews go mostly the same way now, less angsty, but generally he rambles ad infinitum about shit the questions don't even ask. There was even a recentish one where he talked about talking to or forgiving his stepdad or whatever, so he's either commited to keeping up this storyline for himself, or he just felt like talking to the interviewer about it for some weirdass reason. Both scenarios are weird, i guess i'd just rather believe the latter.Idk i'm not disagreeing with what you said completely, i've just always found this theory (for lack of a better word) hard to go with.
