Rewrite an Iconic Movie Scene Starring an RMer

[tragabigzanda]

Whenever there's active promotion on the part of somebody else, whenever I see somebody all dolled up for a fancy photograph and someone's handing out flyers or whenever there's active promotion for something like that, as an imposition on my day, I hate all those people and I want them to fail. I have a visceral reaction to advertising and promotion. There's just something about salesmanship that grates on me on a very base level and I react very negatively towards it. I want those people to suffer and I want their enterprises to fail.

[epilogue]

Yeah, customers tend to love me.

[Norah]

You also have bizarre stances on things, like what types of sex work are noble.

[tree_]

I quite enjoyed your Good Will Hunting one and I LOL'd...
But I'm not sure if it makes sense... Maybe instead of Argo it should be Burt

[epilogue]

I promise I'm not upset. I appreciate what you're doing and call it out at the same time. I never said I didn't laugh either.

[tragabigzanda]

Whenever there's active promotion on the part of somebody else, whenever I see somebody all dolled up for a fancy photograph and someone's handing out flyers or whenever there's active promotion for something like that, as an imposition on my day, I hate all those people and I want them to fail. I have a visceral reaction to advertising and promotion. There's just something about salesmanship that grates on me on a very base level and I react very negatively towards it. I want those people to suffer and I want their enterprises to fail.

[tragabigzanda]

Whenever there's active promotion on the part of somebody else, whenever I see somebody all dolled up for a fancy photograph and someone's handing out flyers or whenever there's active promotion for something like that, as an imposition on my day, I hate all those people and I want them to fail. I have a visceral reaction to advertising and promotion. There's just something about salesmanship that grates on me on a very base level and I react very negatively towards it. I want those people to suffer and I want their enterprises to fail.

[tragabigzanda]

Whenever there's active promotion on the part of somebody else, whenever I see somebody all dolled up for a fancy photograph and someone's handing out flyers or whenever there's active promotion for something like that, as an imposition on my day, I hate all those people and I want them to fail. I have a visceral reaction to advertising and promotion. There's just something about salesmanship that grates on me on a very base level and I react very negatively towards it. I want those people to suffer and I want their enterprises to fail.

[Norah]

Jaws

EXT: THEPLATYPUS's fishing vessel. The ocean extends to the horizon in every direction. THEPLATYPUS is manning the helm, while HOOPER surveys the ocean for any sign of the SHARK; MARTIN busies himself carving up herring and tossing the bloody chum in the ocean, in an effort to attract the SHARK.

MARTIN:
You heard him, slow ahead! -- Slow ahead!
(To himself) I can go slow ahead.
(To HOOPER) C'mon down and chum some of this shit! --

Just then MARTIN catches a glimpse of the SHARK as it swims past; his chum has finally attracted their prey. MARTIN jumps back in shock, and begins scanning the ocean surface for another glimpse of the SHARK. After a moment, it reappears, coming right up along side the vessel. The SHARK is MASSIVE, easily larger than a Buick 8.

(c.u. on MARTIN): We're gonna need a bigger bo--

THEPLATYPUS: We can just use my dad's yacht.

i laughed

[tree_]

I quite enjoyed your Good Will Hunting one and I LOL'd...
But I'm not sure if it makes sense... Maybe instead of Argo it should be Burt

Argo's is RM's own Melanie Driver.

But I'm not RMs Matt Damon cause I'm not smart...

[tragabigzanda]

Whenever there's active promotion on the part of somebody else, whenever I see somebody all dolled up for a fancy photograph and someone's handing out flyers or whenever there's active promotion for something like that, as an imposition on my day, I hate all those people and I want them to fail. I have a visceral reaction to advertising and promotion. There's just something about salesmanship that grates on me on a very base level and I react very negatively towards it. I want those people to suffer and I want their enterprises to fail.

[washing machine]

Jaws

EXT: THEPLATYPUS's fishing vessel. The ocean extends to the horizon in every direction. THEPLATYPUS is manning the helm, while HOOPER surveys the ocean for any sign of the SHARK; MARTIN busies himself carving up herring and tossing the bloody chum in the ocean, in an effort to attract the SHARK.

MARTIN:
You heard him, slow ahead! -- Slow ahead!
(To himself) I can go slow ahead.
(To HOOPER) C'mon down and chum some of this shit! --

Just then MARTIN catches a glimpse of the SHARK as it swims past; his chum has finally attracted their prey. MARTIN jumps back in shock, and begins scanning the ocean surface for another glimpse of the SHARK. After a moment, it reappears, coming right up along side the vessel. The SHARK is MASSIVE, easily larger than a Buick 8.

(c.u. on MARTIN): We're gonna need a bigger bo--

THEPLATYPUS: We can just use my dad's yacht.

This one was awful. Just a rote replay of Jaws with a cheap punchline that really has nothing to do with contextual RM humor

[epilogue]

Yeah, I'm with Reid on this one. Not your best effort, trag. Feels pretty lazy, if I'm totally honest.

[tree_]

I quite enjoyed your Good Will Hunting one and I LOL'd...
But I'm not sure if it makes sense... Maybe instead of Argo it should be Burt

Argo's is RM's own Melanie Driver.

But I'm not RMs Matt Damon cause I'm not smart...

But you are handsome and bro-ey.

Hmmmmm yeah I guess that's something of the schtick I've been doing around here.. but I think you'd be surprised if you met me IRL .. you'd think I might have Asperger's

[washing machine]

but I think you'd be surprised if you met me IRL .. you'd think I might have Asperger's

Most people already do.

[tree_]

but I think you'd be surprised if you met me IRL .. you'd think I might have Asperger's

Most people already do.

When you say it it feels mean...

[washing machine]

but I think you'd be surprised if you met me IRL .. you'd think I might have Asperger's

Most people already do.

When you say it it feels mean...

[tree_]

I just want to be friends cause I can't have them IRL

[washing machine]

I just want to be friends cause I can't have them IRL

Why not?

[tree_]

I just want to be friends cause I can't have them IRL

Why not?

Cause I suck at relationships