Red Mosquito

I might give myself another day to thin out before weigh-in.

Lots of carbs lately.

I hate running. Much prefer the elliptical.

153.1 today

not too bad. will take that any day

I can't wait for them to release Wreckage, seems like a good song to do cardio to.

still on the 173 train

i wish it was 'cause i added muscle' but i am not so sure that's the case

my colon prob loaded with undigested byproducts

tomorrow AM more ab shred

Almost lunch time. I think a salad would be a good choice because I am going out to dinner tonight.

152.5

A little yo yo action lately.

Was 155 a few days ago.

Keep on thinning in the free world.

been around 173 still

had a 171 day

not going full anti-carb but have upped my exercise

i feel fine

could shed a little more

but kinda ok where i am at

i can tell myself it's more muscle mass

jury is still out

Haven’t checked in awhile but I’m going to assume 137

171.6 and had a bowl of spaghetti for dinner last night so pretty psyched about that

time to get greedy

I think I ate too much today and will skip weigh in tomorrow.

Moved around a bit and feel a little better after that meal.

My scale has been in my car all week

171.6

scale seems to like that number

a little sus

154.2

Up about a pound and a half but not too shabby considering my diet and exercise is a little funky lately.

Dark Matter hasn't made me gain any real weight, so that's good.

173's most of the week but 171.8 this morning

i have kept my ab regimen going

maybe i did gain muscle i dunno

prob not

I certainly think that at times I have a hint of body dysmorphia, that no matter if I go down a pants size or actually see my weight fall on the scale, I don’t think I look any different or feel like there’s any visible progress. And while looking different has never been my goal (feeling better and having better health outcomes is always paramount), every once in a while I do come across some photos and realize, “Oh yeah, I’ve lost the weight equivalent of a small child in less than a year.” Two of those are below—one is from last Fathers Day, the other is from today, and, yes, sometimes I do shave, just not in a timeframe close to any of these pictures.

Spoiler: show

Nice bro

Hopefully this motivates you to write Desert Places II- The Reckoning

I was just talking to my therapist the other day about how I have trouble stringing two sentences together when I’m writing—but who knows!

You definitely lost weight! Good on you

I definitely have a touch of body dysmorphia and I hate it. I don't know exactly why or what it is but I'm constantly beating myself up. I'm struggling with my aging body.

The last six months have been rough and I'm struggling to lose the weight/bloat I've gained. It started with being on a heavy dose of prednisone for a long period of time. Then moving:celebrating etc.

I've been exercising everyday but I just look at myself and think "god. You're gross"

Which, on paper - is ridiculous. But here I am.

And I'm terrified to weigh myself because it'll send me off the deep end.