Re: RM Court - AITA
Posted: Wed March 13, 2024 6:14 pm
Ain't no bitch gonna come between me and my mommaAlex wrote:this, taken together with your mommy post, is pretty solid stuff.BurtReynolds wrote:Maybe tree is just whipped
Ain't no bitch gonna come between me and my mommaAlex wrote:this, taken together with your mommy post, is pretty solid stuff.BurtReynolds wrote:Maybe tree is just whipped
sounds like you have a pretty great mommy! or your mommy has you whippedBurtReynolds wrote:Ain't no bitch gonna come between me and my mommaAlex wrote:this, taken together with your mommy post, is pretty solid stuff.BurtReynolds wrote:Maybe tree is just whipped
doesn't sound like my situation.. things were actually worse between me and my family before i got with mine, at least from my perspectiveBurtReynolds wrote:I have a stepbrother who is dumb as a rock and married the first girl who would touch him, but she's a lunatic who forbid him from talking to his mom, and he hasn't since. Before that, they had no problems. What a dumbass.
How the f could you work with a female sibling and not be their superior? That’s crazy towntree_ wrote:I didn't. We are both employed by the same huge state facility. She works down the hall from me. Also, to eradicate what remains of House Atreides.lennytheweedwhacker wrote:So why did you hire your sister?
Do you talk with your broBurtReynolds wrote:I have a stepbrother who is dumb as a rock and married the first girl who would touch him, but she's a lunatic who forbid him from talking to his mom, and he hasn't since. Before that, they had no problems. What a dumbass.
That one? Nah, I've barely ever said more than 5 words to him. I don't participate in all that. Nice guy, though.lennytheweedwhacker wrote:Do you talk with your broBurtReynolds wrote:I have a stepbrother who is dumb as a rock and married the first girl who would touch him, but she's a lunatic who forbid him from talking to his mom, and he hasn't since. Before that, they had no problems. What a dumbass.
tree_ wrote:Some of you might feel weird about reading this, or the act of me sharing it at all. I feel it's OK because of the anonymity of those involved. If you are uncomfortable, just stop reading! I think it might make me feel a little better to share it; I have struggled immensely with my entire family, particularly my mother and sister my entire life and I no longer have patience for their bullshit, but I don't know how else to approach these situations without completely blowing up on them. I no longer talk to my dad, but my mother and I have found a peaceful relationship the past year or so. I feel my judgment may be clouded, and could use your objective perspective. It's a text exchange between me and my sister. AITA, do you think?
Her: I did not have any bad intentions the day i asked if anyone seen u nor do I ever have bad intentions...there have been times where people just randomly ask if u r at work even if they don't need anything, it happens..I'm sorry u felt that way, guess since I was guilty of it once that's why ud think that (but u had said it did help things with u and mom)...anyway me and --(16 year old child, we'll call him "E")-- E would just like a relationship with u someday, but we can wait until your ready..love you and always will
Me: No ill will from me. I don't want drama. I live a full life with an hour drive to and from work 5 days a week, a relationship with and responsibilities to my wife and two young children. I do value my quiet time at work. If you need or want something from me, just ask and we can discuss it.
Her: Hey I've been talking to E about his bday and he just layed it all out, being real honest...this is not for DRAMA, it's just so u know what's going on, if u happen to care, are if u we're gonna come for his bday...this is E texting now - Ain't been in any of are life really or done anything(since you've been with Shear Bear) and since you've been with her you've been a whole another person, that I don't want anything to do with. The only person you really have anything to do with is mama (grandma) since she's raising your kids pretty much for you(I think it would be hard to deal with your wife and raise kids to so kinda understand that). If I think of anything else I'll let you know. My opinion and just being honest with you.
Me: You're right that I've been a different person. That's what happens when you fall in love and start a family. I will not take these insults. Grandma does not raise our kids for us. That is ridiculous. My wife read this message last night and it upset her quit a bit, not because it's true, but because you find a way to attack us time and time again when we are doing nothing wrong, and bring this ridiculous drama to our lives. It is best to keep this toxicity out of our lives as much as possible. You owe us an apology if you want any relationship at all with my family. I will be asking Mom to no longer take the boys to your house.
Her: None of that was from me it was from E. I wanted to let u know how he felt
Me: Well you should talk to him and correct him if you disagree with him. Not text it to me. He's a kid. I'm sorry I'm not in his life more but I have reached out several times in the past and he didn't reply, among other things, like drama and tension between you and me. Don't pretend this is all on me. This is a vicious cycle of tension and drama with you. I refuse to allow it in my life.
Her: Well E wanted to let you know how he felt since I brought up you coming for his bday...I didn't want him to send it like that but he pushed the button...it isn't like this is going to change anything u have had nothing to do with us anyway...u treated me like shit when I came to your office when all I had was good intentions
Me: S, just leave me alone. You are wildly confused and inappropriate.
Her: So you can text E about this,like I said I didn't want him to send it like that...I'm not confused at all lol..I'll b happy to leave u alone it's not like we have anything with u anyway
Me: I'm not texting him. If you keep texting me this drama I will block your number. He's your kid. You and his dad messed him up and confused him with all your drama and nonsense, not me. You need to take accountability and stop blaming others for your problems.
Her: (Laughing emoji)
Who am I blaming for my problems? U don't make any sense. I don't even have any problems
I proceed to block her number
Obviously there is a lot of history here left unexplained. Feel free to ask questions and I will do my best to answer objectively.
Carl Sandburg wrote:There is a wolf in me . . . fangs pointed for tearing gashes . . . a red tongue for raw meat . . . and the hot lapping of blood—I keep this wolf because the wilderness gave it to me and the wilderness will not let it go.
There is a fox in me . . . a silver-gray fox . . . I sniff and guess . . . I pick things out of the wind and air . . . I nose in the dark night and take sleepers and eat them and hide the feathers . . . I circle and loop and double-cross.
There is a hog in me . . . a snout and a belly . . . a machinery for eating and grunting . . . a machinery for sleeping satisfied in the sun—I got this too from the wilderness and the wilderness will not let it go.
There is a fish in me . . . I know I came from salt-blue water-gates . . . I scurried with shoals of herring . . . I blew waterspouts with porpoises . . . before land was . . . before the water went down . . . before Noah . . . before the first chapter of Genesis.
There is a baboon in me . . . clambering-clawed . . . dog-faced . . . yawping a galoot's hunger . . . hairy under the armpits . . . here are the hawk-eyed hankering men . . . here are the blonde and blue-eyed women . . . here they hide curled asleep waiting . . . ready to snarl and kill . . . ready to sing and give milk . . . waiting—I keep the baboon because the wilderness says so.
There is an eagle in me and a mockingbird . . . and the eagle flies among the Rocky Mountains of my dreams and fights among the Sierra crags of what I want . . . and the mockingbird warbles in the early forenoon before the dew is gone, warbles in the underbrush of my Chattanoogas of hope, gushes over the blue Ozark foothills of my wishes—And I got the eagle and the mockingbird from the wilderness.
O, I got a zoo, I got a menagerie, inside my ribs, under my bony head, under my red-valve heart—and I got something else: it is a man-child heart, a woman-child heart: it is a father and mother and lover: it came from God-Knows-Where: it is going to God-Knows-Where—For I am the keeper of the zoo: I say yes and no: I sing and kill and work: I am a pal of the world: I came from the wilderness.
Wow. Yeah, I'd say that's a good summation.Jorge wrote:tree_ wrote:Some of you might feel weird about reading this, or the act of me sharing it at all. I feel it's OK because of the anonymity of those involved. If you are uncomfortable, just stop reading! I think it might make me feel a little better to share it; I have struggled immensely with my entire family, particularly my mother and sister my entire life and I no longer have patience for their bullshit, but I don't know how else to approach these situations without completely blowing up on them. I no longer talk to my dad, but my mother and I have found a peaceful relationship the past year or so. I feel my judgment may be clouded, and could use your objective perspective. It's a text exchange between me and my sister. AITA, do you think?
Her: I did not have any bad intentions the day i asked if anyone seen u nor do I ever have bad intentions...there have been times where people just randomly ask if u r at work even if they don't need anything, it happens..I'm sorry u felt that way, guess since I was guilty of it once that's why ud think that (but u had said it did help things with u and mom)...anyway me and --(16 year old child, we'll call him "E")-- E would just like a relationship with u someday, but we can wait until your ready..love you and always will
Me: No ill will from me. I don't want drama. I live a full life with an hour drive to and from work 5 days a week, a relationship with and responsibilities to my wife and two young children. I do value my quiet time at work. If you need or want something from me, just ask and we can discuss it.
Her: Hey I've been talking to E about his bday and he just layed it all out, being real honest...this is not for DRAMA, it's just so u know what's going on, if u happen to care, are if u we're gonna come for his bday...this is E texting now - Ain't been in any of are life really or done anything(since you've been with Shear Bear) and since you've been with her you've been a whole another person, that I don't want anything to do with. The only person you really have anything to do with is mama (grandma) since she's raising your kids pretty much for you(I think it would be hard to deal with your wife and raise kids to so kinda understand that). If I think of anything else I'll let you know. My opinion and just being honest with you.
Me: You're right that I've been a different person. That's what happens when you fall in love and start a family. I will not take these insults. Grandma does not raise our kids for us. That is ridiculous. My wife read this message last night and it upset her quit a bit, not because it's true, but because you find a way to attack us time and time again when we are doing nothing wrong, and bring this ridiculous drama to our lives. It is best to keep this toxicity out of our lives as much as possible. You owe us an apology if you want any relationship at all with my family. I will be asking Mom to no longer take the boys to your house.
Her: None of that was from me it was from E. I wanted to let u know how he felt
Me: Well you should talk to him and correct him if you disagree with him. Not text it to me. He's a kid. I'm sorry I'm not in his life more but I have reached out several times in the past and he didn't reply, among other things, like drama and tension between you and me. Don't pretend this is all on me. This is a vicious cycle of tension and drama with you. I refuse to allow it in my life.
Her: Well E wanted to let you know how he felt since I brought up you coming for his bday...I didn't want him to send it like that but he pushed the button...it isn't like this is going to change anything u have had nothing to do with us anyway...u treated me like shit when I came to your office when all I had was good intentions
Me: S, just leave me alone. You are wildly confused and inappropriate.
Her: So you can text E about this,like I said I didn't want him to send it like that...I'm not confused at all lol..I'll b happy to leave u alone it's not like we have anything with u anyway
Me: I'm not texting him. If you keep texting me this drama I will block your number. He's your kid. You and his dad messed him up and confused him with all your drama and nonsense, not me. You need to take accountability and stop blaming others for your problems.
Her: (Laughing emoji)
Who am I blaming for my problems? U don't make any sense. I don't even have any problems
I proceed to block her number
Obviously there is a lot of history here left unexplained. Feel free to ask questions and I will do my best to answer objectively.
I'm really struggling to make sense of this so I can provide an opinion.
From what I'm reading, it sounds like this. Let me know if I'm getting it right.
Backstory:
- Tree has had a lifelong struggle with his family, specifically his mother, father, and sister.
- Tree has ceased communication with his father but has recently found peace with his mother.
- Relationship with his sister is strained but they see each other every once in a while and they work down the hall from each other.
- Tree's sister shows up at Tree's work to inquire on why Tree is upset at her... Tree doesn't react kindly to this.
Text exchange:
- Tree's sister apologizes for any misunderstanding, expresses no bad intentions, and conveys a desire for a future relationship with Tree, also mentioning her child, "E."
- Tree emphasizes a desire to avoid drama and outlines his busy life, including work and family responsibilities, indicating a preference for peace and direct communication.
- Tree's sister relays feelings from "E" about Tree's absence in their lives, criticizes Tree's change in behavior since starting a new family, and makes accusations about Tree's parenting. (If we take Tree's sister at her word that these messages are coming from "E.")
- Tree defends himself, acknowledging a personal change due to family priorities but rejecting the insults and accusations, particularly the claim about his grandmother raising his kids, and demands an apology for the toxic behavior (E's accusations?).
- Sister insists the harsh message was directly from "E"
- Tree argues the sister should have corrected "E" instead of forwarding his messages, acknowledges past attempts to connect with "E," and highlights ongoing drama and tension with the sister.
- Sister states "E" wanted to express his feelings, implies Tree's indifference has been longstanding, and recounts the incident at the office.
- Tree expresses frustration over his sister's behavior, refuses to engage with "E" through text, blames the sister and "E's" father for "E's" issues, and ultimately decides to block sister's number after she dismissively laughs off the criticism.
Is that right?
just tried this and wow... better feedback than any of you could have ever providedtragabigzanda wrote:Dump it into ChatGPT and ask it to pass judgment
i wouldn’t give up on RM’s advice just yet. Tommy still hasn’t chimed in.tree_ wrote:just tried this and wow... better feedback than any of you could have ever providedtragabigzanda wrote:Dump it into ChatGPT and ask it to pass judgment
BurtReynolds wrote:That one? Nah, I've barely ever said more than 5 words to him. I don't participate in all that. Nice guy, though.lennytheweedwhacker wrote:Do you talk with your broBurtReynolds wrote:I have a stepbrother who is dumb as a rock and married the first girl who would touch him, but she's a lunatic who forbid him from talking to his mom, and he hasn't since. Before that, they had no problems. What a dumbass.
tree_ wrote:just tried this and wow... better feedback than any of you could have ever providedtragabigzanda wrote:Dump it into ChatGPT and ask it to pass judgment
Tree's Sister:
Positive Aspects: Initially, she expresses a desire for a relationship with Tree and attempts to clarify her intentions regarding contacting him at work. Additionally, she tries to convey her son's feelings to Tree regarding his absence in their lives.
Negative Aspects: However, her actions become problematic when she forwards messages from her son containing insults and accusations without intervening or addressing them herself. She also appears dismissive of Tree's concerns and refuses to take responsibility for her part in the family tensions.
Tree:
Positive Aspects: Tree demonstrates a desire for peace and direct communication, as well as a commitment to his own family's well-being. He tries to address the issues raised by his sister and her son in a firm but constructive manner.
Negative Aspects: Tree's decision to block his sister's number may be seen as an attempt to avoid further conflict, but it could also be interpreted as a lack of willingness to engage in dialogue and resolve the underlying issues.
In this scenario, Tree's sister's actions, particularly in forwarding her son's hurtful messages without intervening or addressing them herself, seem morally more questionable. By allowing her son to communicate in a disrespectful manner and failing to take responsibility for her role in the family tensions, she perpetuates the cycle of conflict and drama. Tree, on the other hand, while expressing frustration and setting boundaries, attempts to address the issues in a more direct and constructive manner.
Ultimately, both characters could benefit from better communication and conflict resolution skills, as well as a willingness to take responsibility for their actions and work towards resolving family tensions in a healthier manner.
Take that, Jorge!tree_ wrote:Wow. Yeah, I'd say that's a good summation.Jorge wrote:tree_ wrote:Some of you might feel weird about reading this, or the act of me sharing it at all. I feel it's OK because of the anonymity of those involved. If you are uncomfortable, just stop reading! I think it might make me feel a little better to share it; I have struggled immensely with my entire family, particularly my mother and sister my entire life and I no longer have patience for their bullshit, but I don't know how else to approach these situations without completely blowing up on them. I no longer talk to my dad, but my mother and I have found a peaceful relationship the past year or so. I feel my judgment may be clouded, and could use your objective perspective. It's a text exchange between me and my sister. AITA, do you think?
Her: I did not have any bad intentions the day i asked if anyone seen u nor do I ever have bad intentions...there have been times where people just randomly ask if u r at work even if they don't need anything, it happens..I'm sorry u felt that way, guess since I was guilty of it once that's why ud think that (but u had said it did help things with u and mom)...anyway me and --(16 year old child, we'll call him "E")-- E would just like a relationship with u someday, but we can wait until your ready..love you and always will
Me: No ill will from me. I don't want drama. I live a full life with an hour drive to and from work 5 days a week, a relationship with and responsibilities to my wife and two young children. I do value my quiet time at work. If you need or want something from me, just ask and we can discuss it.
Her: Hey I've been talking to E about his bday and he just layed it all out, being real honest...this is not for DRAMA, it's just so u know what's going on, if u happen to care, are if u we're gonna come for his bday...this is E texting now - Ain't been in any of are life really or done anything(since you've been with Shear Bear) and since you've been with her you've been a whole another person, that I don't want anything to do with. The only person you really have anything to do with is mama (grandma) since she's raising your kids pretty much for you(I think it would be hard to deal with your wife and raise kids to so kinda understand that). If I think of anything else I'll let you know. My opinion and just being honest with you.
Me: You're right that I've been a different person. That's what happens when you fall in love and start a family. I will not take these insults. Grandma does not raise our kids for us. That is ridiculous. My wife read this message last night and it upset her quit a bit, not because it's true, but because you find a way to attack us time and time again when we are doing nothing wrong, and bring this ridiculous drama to our lives. It is best to keep this toxicity out of our lives as much as possible. You owe us an apology if you want any relationship at all with my family. I will be asking Mom to no longer take the boys to your house.
Her: None of that was from me it was from E. I wanted to let u know how he felt
Me: Well you should talk to him and correct him if you disagree with him. Not text it to me. He's a kid. I'm sorry I'm not in his life more but I have reached out several times in the past and he didn't reply, among other things, like drama and tension between you and me. Don't pretend this is all on me. This is a vicious cycle of tension and drama with you. I refuse to allow it in my life.
Her: Well E wanted to let you know how he felt since I brought up you coming for his bday...I didn't want him to send it like that but he pushed the button...it isn't like this is going to change anything u have had nothing to do with us anyway...u treated me like shit when I came to your office when all I had was good intentions
Me: S, just leave me alone. You are wildly confused and inappropriate.
Her: So you can text E about this,like I said I didn't want him to send it like that...I'm not confused at all lol..I'll b happy to leave u alone it's not like we have anything with u anyway
Me: I'm not texting him. If you keep texting me this drama I will block your number. He's your kid. You and his dad messed him up and confused him with all your drama and nonsense, not me. You need to take accountability and stop blaming others for your problems.
Her: (Laughing emoji)
Who am I blaming for my problems? U don't make any sense. I don't even have any problems
I proceed to block her number
Obviously there is a lot of history here left unexplained. Feel free to ask questions and I will do my best to answer objectively.
I'm really struggling to make sense of this so I can provide an opinion.
From what I'm reading, it sounds like this. Let me know if I'm getting it right.
Backstory:
- Tree has had a lifelong struggle with his family, specifically his mother, father, and sister.
- Tree has ceased communication with his father but has recently found peace with his mother.
- Relationship with his sister is strained but they see each other every once in a while and they work down the hall from each other.
- Tree's sister shows up at Tree's work to inquire on why Tree is upset at her... Tree doesn't react kindly to this.
Text exchange:
- Tree's sister apologizes for any misunderstanding, expresses no bad intentions, and conveys a desire for a future relationship with Tree, also mentioning her child, "E."
- Tree emphasizes a desire to avoid drama and outlines his busy life, including work and family responsibilities, indicating a preference for peace and direct communication.
- Tree's sister relays feelings from "E" about Tree's absence in their lives, criticizes Tree's change in behavior since starting a new family, and makes accusations about Tree's parenting. (If we take Tree's sister at her word that these messages are coming from "E.")
- Tree defends himself, acknowledging a personal change due to family priorities but rejecting the insults and accusations, particularly the claim about his grandmother raising his kids, and demands an apology for the toxic behavior (E's accusations?).
- Sister insists the harsh message was directly from "E"
- Tree argues the sister should have corrected "E" instead of forwarding his messages, acknowledges past attempts to connect with "E," and highlights ongoing drama and tension with the sister.
- Sister states "E" wanted to express his feelings, implies Tree's indifference has been longstanding, and recounts the incident at the office.
- Tree expresses frustration over his sister's behavior, refuses to engage with "E" through text, blames the sister and "E's" father for "E's" issues, and ultimately decides to block sister's number after she dismissively laughs off the criticism.
Is that right?
Something to note, in the past and here, my sister not only doesn't correct her son when he is clearly out of line, she encourages him, and in the past when he has behaved poorly I would help parent in such instances and it was accepted as good help and guidance. There was a brief transitional time we were all living together with my mom, E, my sister and I, and I was a stand-in parental figure, his father being absent, I being very good with children and discipline, having worked with autistic children. He's not autistic, but it's good training.
There's no doubt in my mind she has encouraged him to feel the way he does about me and my wife. It's not that she allowed him to send me that kind of message, she wanted him to, in order to validate her own negative feelings.