Things you have an irrational hatred of

[BurtReynolds]

When the motherfucking mailman puts my packages in a motherfucking locker and gives me the wrong or broken motherfucking keys.

FedEx lost a $200 dollar package yesterday.

The insurance claim process is fun!

They told me to file a police report...

[tragabigzanda]

There is a wolf in me . . . fangs pointed for tearing gashes . . . a red tongue for raw meat . . . and the hot lapping of blood—I keep this wolf because the wilderness gave it to me and the wilderness will not let it go.

There is a fox in me . . . a silver-gray fox . . . I sniff and guess . . . I pick things out of the wind and air . . . I nose in the dark night and take sleepers and eat them and hide the feathers . . . I circle and loop and double-cross.

There is a hog in me . . . a snout and a belly . . . a machinery for eating and grunting . . . a machinery for sleeping satisfied in the sun—I got this too from the wilderness and the wilderness will not let it go.

There is a fish in me . . . I know I came from salt-blue water-gates . . . I scurried with shoals of herring . . . I blew waterspouts with porpoises . . . before land was . . . before the water went down . . . before Noah . . . before the first chapter of Genesis.

There is a baboon in me . . . clambering-clawed . . . dog-faced . . . yawping a galoot's hunger . . . hairy under the armpits . . . here are the hawk-eyed hankering men . . . here are the blonde and blue-eyed women . . . here they hide curled asleep waiting . . . ready to snarl and kill . . . ready to sing and give milk . . . waiting—I keep the baboon because the wilderness says so.

There is an eagle in me and a mockingbird . . . and the eagle flies among the Rocky Mountains of my dreams and fights among the Sierra crags of what I want . . . and the mockingbird warbles in the early forenoon before the dew is gone, warbles in the underbrush of my Chattanoogas of hope, gushes over the blue Ozark foothills of my wishes—And I got the eagle and the mockingbird from the wilderness.

O, I got a zoo, I got a menagerie, inside my ribs, under my bony head, under my red-valve heart—and I got something else: it is a man-child heart, a woman-child heart: it is a father and mother and lover: it came from God-Knows-Where: it is going to God-Knows-Where—For I am the keeper of the zoo: I say yes and no: I sing and kill and work: I am a pal of the world: I came from the wilderness.

[BurtReynolds]

When the motherfucking mailman puts my packages in a motherfucking locker and gives me the wrong or broken motherfucking keys.

FedEx lost a $200 dollar package yesterday.

The insurance claim process is fun!

They told me to file a police report...

lol, so they can process their claim, right?

I guess so.

[spike]

What was in the box?

[BurtReynolds]

Why you up in my business? Are you a cop?

[BurtReynolds]

I get that people are concerned with getting their packages damaged, but we really need to calm down with packaging materials. I shouldn't need a chainsaw and a map to get my product out of a box.

Also, people who use packing peanuts should be shot.

[Higgs]

When my wife sneezes she never just does 1 or 2 or even 3 sneezes. She always goes for like 10 in a row.

It pisses me off. Irrationally.

[wease]

10 times? Good lord.

[Dev]

Conservatives. And it's becoming an unbearable hatred. I remember when woke was big how dumb those people could be. but these right wing populous people are reminding what true evil and stupidity is. It really puts things in perspective.

[BurtReynolds]

Conservatives. And it's becoming an unbearable hatred. I remember when woke was big how dumb those people could be. but these right wing populous people are reminding what true evil and stupidity is. It really puts things in perspective.

Get a load of this reactionary!

[E.H. Ruddock]

The autocomplete in Microsoft. At least on Outlook. When it predicts your next word and you tab to accept it, shouldn't it automatically put a space after that word? It doesn't then I run the next word into it and have to go back an correct it.

[Strat]

body hairs getting caught in the fabric of my clothing/jacket (for facial/neck)

[bodysnatcher]

body hairs getting caught in the fabric of my clothing/jacket (for facial/neck)

Manliness humble brag

[epilogue]

body hairs getting caught in the fabric of my clothing/jacket (for facial/neck)

Manliness humble brag

[Chris_H_2]

body hairs getting caught in the fabric of my clothing/jacket (for facial/neck)

Manliness humble brag

[epilogue]

body hairs getting caught in the fabric of my clothing/jacket (for facial/neck)

Manliness humble brag

*chef kiss*

[tragabigzanda]

There is a wolf in me . . . fangs pointed for tearing gashes . . . a red tongue for raw meat . . . and the hot lapping of blood—I keep this wolf because the wilderness gave it to me and the wilderness will not let it go.

There is a fox in me . . . a silver-gray fox . . . I sniff and guess . . . I pick things out of the wind and air . . . I nose in the dark night and take sleepers and eat them and hide the feathers . . . I circle and loop and double-cross.

There is a hog in me . . . a snout and a belly . . . a machinery for eating and grunting . . . a machinery for sleeping satisfied in the sun—I got this too from the wilderness and the wilderness will not let it go.

There is a fish in me . . . I know I came from salt-blue water-gates . . . I scurried with shoals of herring . . . I blew waterspouts with porpoises . . . before land was . . . before the water went down . . . before Noah . . . before the first chapter of Genesis.

There is a baboon in me . . . clambering-clawed . . . dog-faced . . . yawping a galoot's hunger . . . hairy under the armpits . . . here are the hawk-eyed hankering men . . . here are the blonde and blue-eyed women . . . here they hide curled asleep waiting . . . ready to snarl and kill . . . ready to sing and give milk . . . waiting—I keep the baboon because the wilderness says so.

There is an eagle in me and a mockingbird . . . and the eagle flies among the Rocky Mountains of my dreams and fights among the Sierra crags of what I want . . . and the mockingbird warbles in the early forenoon before the dew is gone, warbles in the underbrush of my Chattanoogas of hope, gushes over the blue Ozark foothills of my wishes—And I got the eagle and the mockingbird from the wilderness.

O, I got a zoo, I got a menagerie, inside my ribs, under my bony head, under my red-valve heart—and I got something else: it is a man-child heart, a woman-child heart: it is a father and mother and lover: it came from God-Knows-Where: it is going to God-Knows-Where—For I am the keeper of the zoo: I say yes and no: I sing and kill and work: I am a pal of the world: I came from the wilderness.

[epilogue]

When you’re getting off a phone call and the other person says “mmmmmbye”

*being on a phone call

[Ello Sailor]

When you’re getting off a phone call and the other person says “mmmmmbye”

What the hell. Who does this? Have them call me.

[washing machine]

When you’re getting off a phone call and the other person says “mmmmmbye”

Also, when you're getting off a phone call and the other person says "mumbai".