Red Mosquito

Ello Sailor wrote:

epilogue wrote:

spike wrote:do any RMers smoke cigars? i'm considering looking into this niche pastime.

I smoked one once.

I did not enjoy it. I threw up.

Did you inhale? That catches everyone out.

Anyway, do not start smoking cigars, Spike. Obviously they're terrible for you, and from what I've heard they're just about as difficult to kick as cigarettes.

I didn't inhale, no. Mostly because I've never smoked anything before and I was afraid to. The biggest problem was that no one told me you weren't supposed to down the whole fucking thing in one go. And I wasn't expecting the high buzz. We'd also been drinking (it was a bachelor party) so that didn't help. But yeah I don't need to touch a cigar ever again.

Everywhere I go in Italy there are bidets. My memory of bidets was a small sprinkler type thing that would spurt up to wash your date. But all these are little outlets at a 45 degree angle downwards set about but crack height. How are you meant to use them?? Do you position your crack fully on the outlet and let it spray or what? I'm lost...

I think I need diagrams or something.

Higgs wrote:My memory of bidets was a small sprinkler type thing that would spurt up to wash your date.

I don't know that I've ever heard/read of someone calling a butthole a date, but I'm going to start referring to mine as one from now on.

Higgs wrote:Everywhere I go in Italy there are bidets. My memory of bidets was a small sprinkler type thing that would spurt up to wash your date. But all these are little outlets at a 45 degree angle downwards set about but crack height. How are you meant to use them?? Do you position your crack fully on the outlet and let it spray or what? I'm lost...

Trag posted a video when I was over there. It’s pretty much as you describe. Position the ol’ dumper over it and let it rip.

have you ever farted on a man's breasts?

I dunno man. Looking closely at the "spout" on the bidet in my current accommodation it looks a bit dodgy. I'm really meant to rest my (virginal, pristine) crack on this??


Looks like some others arse cracks have seriously "been there before' if you know what I mean.

Perhaps I'm just not meant for bidet life...

my question is...what if you have a chunky hanger-on, and the bidet splashes it off, but it's too big to go through the drain stop? do you push it through? pick it up with toilet paper and flush it?

also, are you squatting slightly above that thing? if so, i'm out as i am a terrible squatter.

THESE ARE VALID CONCERNS!!!!

LOL

it's interesting how in Europe they will have bidets everywhere but for the longest time no one used deodorant and it stank like BO so frequently

i mean i guess washing excess poop away is the more important thing

but the BO smell can take down a restaurant or living room in seconds

feels not as bad anymore tho

i cant recall getting a huge pungent lung-full when i was there last summer

missed opportunity perhaps

Do Euros still wipe, or is it all bidet?

Surely they wipe, then bidet

How are you supposed to dry off afterwards? Or do you just hike your pants up over your soggy ass?

wease wrote:Surely they wipe, then bidet

I would think it would be bidet then wipe

And then hike your pants up over all the little bits of wet toilet paper stuck to your ass? No thanks!

I’m pretty confident I will go through my entire life without ever using a bidet.

the super fancy toilet seats with bidets and dryers are awesome.

also, you rubes, bidets are not meant to be a substitute for wiping.

I was skeptical, but after installing one of those seat bidets, I don't ever want to go back to not using a bidet. It is especially awesome when you have one of those mornings that tries to ruin your day when you shower and then have to shit.

E.H. Ruddock wrote:I was skeptical, but after installing one of those seat bidets, I don't ever want to go back to not using a bidet. It is especially awesome when you have one of those mornings that tries to ruin your day when you shower and then have to shit.

Describe the whole routine from beginning to end. Also, what's the water pressure on that thing?