I've gotta take a sh*t

[96583UP]

slightly more solid today but still need a single solid big boi to feel back on track

had a cheesesteak for lunch so maybe that will get my bacteria bois happy again and make the big girth

might be too early though

[tommy]

Glad to hear you're improving. I have not shit today, which is unusual. I usually shit in the morning.

[96583UP]

when you wipe and the toilet paper breaks and your finger slips into your butthole and then you smell your finger to confirm if it smells like poop and it smells a little poopy and you kind of like it and realize you will need to wash your fingers but kind of don't want to but have to because society says you have to and you question whether you are living the life that you actually want to live

[tommy]

when you wipe and the toilet paper breaks and your finger slips into your butthole and then you smell your finger to confirm if it smells like poop and it smells a little poopy and you kind of like it and realize you will need to wash your fingers but kind of don't want to but have to because society says you have to and you question whether you are living the life that you actually want to live

This has never happened to me because I use too much toilet paper. Never having experienced this is worth the reputation as a toilet clogger.

[tommy]

I'm going to go take a shit right now.

[spike]

when you wipe and the toilet paper breaks and your finger slips into your butthole and then you smell your finger to confirm if it smells like poop and it smells a little poopy and you kind of like it and realize you will need to wash your fingers but kind of don't want to but have to because society says you have to and you question whether you are living the life that you actually want to live

You gotta wash because of the potential bacteria, man.

Or are you saying you want to live like RFK? That guy probably has perpetual stink finger.

[spike]

when you wipe and the toilet paper breaks and your finger slips into your butthole and then you smell your finger to confirm if it smells like poop and it smells a little poopy and you kind of like it and realize you will need to wash your fingers but kind of don't want to but have to because society says you have to and you question whether you are living the life that you actually want to live

This has never happened to me because I use too much toilet paper. Never having experienced this is worth the reputation as a toilet clogger.

I had a roommate in college who was one of you. We confronted him and tried to get him to pay for a bigger share of the TP budget, but he denied what we all knew.

I despise your kind.

[tommy]

when you wipe and the toilet paper breaks and your finger slips into your butthole and then you smell your finger to confirm if it smells like poop and it smells a little poopy and you kind of like it and realize you will need to wash your fingers but kind of don't want to but have to because society says you have to and you question whether you are living the life that you actually want to live

This has never happened to me because I use too much toilet paper. Never having experienced this is worth the reputation as a toilet clogger.

I had a roommate in college who was one of you. We confronted him and tried to get him to pay for a bigger share of the TP budget, but he denied what we all knew.

I despise your kind.

I apologize for nothing. I've got my flushing down to a science at this point. Any clogging these days is the fault of the toilet.

[spike]

when you wipe and the toilet paper breaks and your finger slips into your butthole and then you smell your finger to confirm if it smells like poop and it smells a little poopy and you kind of like it and realize you will need to wash your fingers but kind of don't want to but have to because society says you have to and you question whether you are living the life that you actually want to live

This has never happened to me because I use too much toilet paper. Never having experienced this is worth the reputation as a toilet clogger.

I had a roommate in college who was one of you. We confronted him and tried to get him to pay for a bigger share of the TP budget, but he denied what we all knew.

I despise your kind.

I apologize for nothing. I've got my flushing down to a science at this point. Any clogging these days is the fault of the toilet.

A man who’s afraid of his own butthole isn’t a man.

[96583UP]

indeed

nor afraid of a poopy finger

[96583UP]

<rubs eyes with finger>

[96583UP]

big solid log this morning

my bacteria bois are back

[spike]

I don’t like going from two days of big D to nothing. Maybe the pipes have been cleansed, or maybe the Immodium has thrown the balance off.

[Ello Sailor]

Two days of big D, hell yeah brother.

[spike]

It was definitely a bug of some sort. I took a three hour nap yesterday, just spent.

[96583UP]

i had a pretty big crap this morning, nice and solid log

felt great

i love to crap

[spike]

So gassy, gonna nuke it with some Gaviscon and GasX.

See you on the other side.

[96583UP]

godspeed

i do a daily chobani now

sometimes two

[Jorge]

I was at an old friend's house for lunch and the meal was delicious but immediately after we were done eating I felt a wave of nausea coming over me and this intense need to use the toilet. I started sweating too. Everyone else seemed normal so it must've been a me thing. Excused myself to the guest bathroom where I tried to compose myself but I knew I couldn't poop because everyone would hear and it would be awful. I ended up leaving abruptly with some excuse about needing to record a podcast (??? first thing I could think of) and it was a blast of liquid diarrhea. This had never happened to me before, at least so intensely or suddenly

[spike]

Your old friend poisoned you.

The question is why.

You may only have a few short hours left to discover the answer.