Red Mosquito

Jorge wrote:Huge bummer overshare behind the cut

Spoiler: show

My mom is currently in the ICU, sedated and intubated, basically waiting to die. she's been dealing with this blood cancer thing for about 3 months and last week she was hospitalized due to pneumonia. She was put under because she was struggling too hard to breathe, and on top of that they found a hemorrhage in her brain (due to her low platelets from her condition, it's been really hard to stop). Doctors have told me it'd be wise to brace for the worst. My siblings are flying in from other countries tomorrow.
I love my mom with all my heart. she's the kindest, sweetest, funniest person I've ever known, and the only person to love me unconditionally my entire life. So every day I pace around her hospital room monologuing at her unresponsive body and hoping some of it somehow breaks through the heavy pharmaceuticals keeping her asleep. I try my best to thank her for everything she's done for me, apologize for ways in which I might have failed her, and reassure her that her children are going to be okay. I tell her over and over again that I love her, as if the sheer intensity of my lovebombing can lift her from that bed, or at the very least cushion her from whatever pain or discomfort comes with passing away. She's just the best and does not deserve this. Nothing in my life has ever hurt like this, and I don't know what I'm going to do with myself moving forward.

Ello Sailor wrote:She can hear you, 100%.